Sealed Memory
by Mask1
Summary: A man with no memory begins a new life. He is caught up in the wars of the Dragon and realises that he must rekindle memories of his past, in order to finish a vital task that may be crucial for victory against the shadow.
1. Ch 1: Gift of Trust

Chapter 1 serves a prologue for the rest of the story. There will be a significant time gap between here and Chapter 2.

Disclaimer: WOT is RJs.

**_Chapter 1: The Gift of Trust_**

Light! Blinding, stinging light! It hurt his eyes and he slowly opened them. They felt gummed together like those of a newborn kitten, as if he had never used them before. Which of course he had! Hadn't he?

He rolled over in the short grass little bending blades pricking his sensitive fingertips. His eyes began to adjust and his surroundings started to become clear from the blur of whiteness they had been only moments before.

"Where am I?" he asked aloud.

No one answered. He continued to keep his eyes partly closed, as the light still seemed so bright, it offended them with its stark honesty. His hand moved to his belt as if he had expected to find a weapon there with which to defend himself. He felt vulnerable and a little fearful. He did not recognise this place. Even as his eyes continued to clear, and the scrub-like brush and grasslands came into sharp focus, the scene became no more familiar.

He tried to get to his feet and was relieved to find his muscles worked better than his eyes had. He was not only able to rise to his feet but did so with a catlike grace rather than child-like clumsiness. Once upright he was able to see much further. There were no hills nearby; the land was quite low he could run forever on this flat plain. Well he could run for eight hours before his lungs gave him… wait! How did he know that? He couldn't remember having done anything like that before.

Looking down he noticed he was dressed in a simple tunic belted high on his waist. Attached to the thin high belt was another slightly thicker one that hung lower on his left thigh. His boots were comfortable as if they had been made for him. He did not remember buying them; he did not even recognise them!

He tried to remember what he had been doing that had brought him to this place, but he could not. Then he began to fear. Something stopped this though, some inner restraint or strength came to his rescue and he calmed himself. He breathed in slowly long and deep. In through his nose and out through his mouth. There must be an explanation and he would find one. Right now he needed to survive.

He had no, bag, satchel, horse or equipment, that would be a problem. He searched his person with his hands and found some small round coins of gold on the inside of his belt. Around his neck was a smooth chain with fine links of silver. On the chain was a key of worked brass. What was this for? It must open a lock but to where? He could not remember! He felt his face next he had a few days growth of beard which he was surprised to feel. I don't wear a beard he thought, but realised he was unsure of that also. "Who do I be?" he exclaimed aloud.

He tried to think of his name but he couldn't. The panic he had felt upon first realising he could not remember filled him again. He didn't know what he looked like or who he was! That panic began to surge up and almost overwhelmed him. A strong silent part of himself however answered it as it had before.

'No! Panic is death. Think and act, one step at a time. Words came through his head slowly but continuously and their repetitive flowing mantra calmed him in his wasteland of memory.

'Courage to change what you can, serenity to accept what you cannot and wisdom to know the difference.'

"Okay, well I do need to get to people who can help" he said aloud to himself. Looking around himself he realised he could not see any signs of civilisation. His eyes dropped to the floor but he saw no clear tracks not even his own. Almost of their own accord, his eyes travelled to the sky and he saw a wisp of smoke rising as if from a distant pipe. Fire meant people. So he began to move his walk soon lengthening into strides and his strides quickened to the easy lope of a runner.

He was in sight of the small buildings that denoted some kind of village before he slowed again to a walk. He was sweating but only slightly. The run had invigorated him not exhausted him. As he approached the small township he met his first human being since awakening that morning. Maybe this man would recognise him?

"Ahoy there!" he called out so as not to sneak up on the man unawares, unfortunate things could happen to you if you did that, though he could not remember what.

"Greetings" called back the man. He was a middle aged man with the weather beaten look and raw muscle of a man who had worked out of doors his whole life. When he rose from his work, he leant upon a thick mattock that he had been using to drive fence stakes into the grassy ground.

"Where am I?" he asked.

The man grinned. "Outlook Pleasant" he replied jovially. "You're a stranger 'round here, what brings you to Outlook?"

"I'm lost and have no idea where to go" he replied. "I just want to survive and make myself useful."

The worker looked suspicious. "On the run are ye?"

"No! At least not to my knowledge, but I need to find myself and safety from rain, hail and hunger. I have some coin but not enough to last me long."

"My name" said the worker "is Giro. I farm near here and I do some joining around the village to. I could use another hand for odd jobs and some unskilled labour. I believe in helping people and I have a mind to help you. It'll be Sunday soon and the Light knows I am due a selfless good deed. You could be in luck if you prove your worth. So we'll see."

With that Giro took a long dirk from the back of his belt and tossed it to him. "A gift" he said. "Now use it to clear off those little branches sticking out of the other stakes and I'll get hammering them in. Do a good job and you'll earn your supper tonight!"

He had caught the blade with barely a thought and he felt himself smile in heartfelt gratitude at the trust and kindness Giro was showing him a total stranger.

"I do be honoured" he said and got to work with a will. He was utterly determined he would not ignore this gift straight from the Creator. He would prove himself worthy of Giro's gift of trust.

"What's your name Illianer?" asked Giro.

He paused. He did not have a name. But this was his chance at a new life to begin to remake whatever it had been that he had lost. He could not do that nameless. Looking into his hands he saw the dirk, the first gift he had received in his new life. "My name is Dirk" he replied and touched his belt on the left side as he bowed his head to Giro.

"No need to bow to me" replied the man hefting his mattock once more. "I'm no one special. Glad to meet you Dirk!"


	2. Ch 2: Steadysteel

_**Chapter 2: Steadysteel**_

He had just left the millers. "Thanks Steadysteel!" The friendly call followed him floating on the air, as he walked down the road. Dirk grinned he loved helping people. Since he had arrived at outlook pleasant four years ago he had been able to make a real difference. He had found in himself great reservoirs of strength and endurance which had made Giro a happy man indeed. He had worked for his good friend for his first year without really doing anything else.

Happy just for room and board he had never pressed for recognition or increased money. However he had soon shown a gift for working wood and later metal. Giro had been surprised that he had continued with him and after his first year in Outlook had almost demanded that Dirk look to himself. "Build yourself a house and start a living!" He had almost shouted. "Dirk you could take up any of a dozen trades any man in this village would take you on. You're worth your own weight in flour!"

He had built his own small one roomed cabin on the edge of the village but was rarely home. Everyone wanted the cheery Illianer to spend time in their homes as their guest. He was known as the best of guests, never outstaying his welcome and always looking to perform some small service wherever he could. Indeed if it had not been for Giro he would be a pauper, that according to Giro at least. "Keep giving away your work as gifts and helping people out for free and you'll soon have nothing left!" his first friend had scolded him.

Yet Dirk did not fear that. No one in Outlook Pleasant would ever let him starve. They were the best people in the world. After they had gotten to know him many had discovered he knew little of himself for he was not a man of secrets. The fact he had come with so little seemed to free him to love and serve and though he had been perceived as odd from the outset it had won him the undying love and respect of every man and woman of the village. Despite his being from Illian, something everyone else told him was clear from his look and especially his accent. Here in Altara a country apparently close to Illian they knew people from there very well. But Outlook Pleasant was a sleepy village and they rarely got much news from the outside. The couple of times anyone from Illian had passed thorough he had listened to them speak and recognised what the villagers had meant. Still nothing rang a bell when they spoke of their home; it had not felt like home to him.

He no longer felt any real desire to know who he had been. His life here was ideal. He was able to work and serve. He had good friends and a good reputation. His past that he had forged for himself these past four years would serve him well enough. Lots of the local women thought him an excellent match for his daughters and he wasn't above some interest in them either. Yes he could live here forever. He even had a career now. Two years ago he had tried his hand at Tanning leather and found himself to possess a surprising knack for it. He had in fact quickly out paced the man who had supposed to have been his Master the local tanner Janus. He had almost made himself a real enemy for the first time in his life. At least he thought it was the first time. But this had been avoided by him agreeing to work away from Janus and as his 'apprentice' to send him a tithe of his profits. He had been given a family name by the villagers of Steadysteel. This had been in part for his forging but really it had come from the day when he had fought off three brigands who had attacked one of the outlying farmsteads.

The cry had gone up and he with his quick legs had been first to arrive on the scene. His hands had moved as if they knew what to do and instead of a blind flurry to his surprise he had disarmed one of the brigands within moments. He could still remember it.

_The man had tried to stab him and he had easily stepped past the 'clumsy' lunge. He had seized the man's wrist and then struck it soundly with the edge of his other flattened hand. With a yelp the man had released the blade. Dirk in the same movement had crouched and collected it. He had then proceeded to cut across the back of the man's leg leaving him howling on the floor but alive._

_Anxious to avenge their friend and escape with their loot the other two had charged him together. They were hoping to overwhelm him with numbers before he could ready a defence. Dirk remembered thinking that they would have been better advised to either approach slowly from two opposite sides or flee. He faced them and as they neared leapt moving his whole body left. One of them could no longer strike him without hitting his ally the other, no master of the sword was off balanced by Dirk's manoeuvre but tried to change the direction of his lunging sword. Dirk had almost shaken his head. These men should not be trying to fight him they were not good enough. He did not know how he knew, but he knew. They could not win this fight. He had disarmed the first and wounded him. The last had not remained on his feet for more than twenty seconds after. Moments later as the other villagers had arrived they came to a scene of three disarmed and wounded, but not killed outlaws. The event had fixed their likeable odd job man forever in their minds as a man of trust and honour._

Recently there had been rumours of wars and strange foreigners landing in massive ships. They enslaved people and forced them to swear allegiance to some distant Empress. On the other hand there were as many stories on men and women who could channel led by some kind of Dragon that was apparently doing the same thing in the north and east. So everyone was swearing allegiance to someone and no one it seemed of their own free will. This had all felt very wrong to him. Due to his prowess with the blade some of the villagers had assumed he would leave and go to Illian and help defend it. He had got the distinct impression that some of the villagers thought he was a lord of some kind who was hiding his identity like in a gleeman's tale. They had seemed for a while to be in daily anticipation of him upping his roots and returning with a blast of trumpets and a battle cry to Illian to face down this Dragon or the Dark One himself. Dirk smiled at that. The only people he wanted to defend and fight for were these people, his people.

Suddenly, lightning struck from an open sky! It hit the earth with a resounding explosion that almost threw him from his feet despite the fact it had been no where near him. Cries rose up around the village and people were running from their homes looking for the source of the commotion. Almost as if his previous thoughts had summoned them trumpet blasts sounded and then he began to hear the shouts. Dirk began to run. Soon he was on the small rise at the end of the village next to Giro's fence, still sturdy and strong after four years of use.

He saw them. Indistinct and hazy they might be, but at the same time, they were massive and intimidating: armies. He recognised them instantly. He had seen armies before. He had heard them. He heard them now, the screams, the tramping feet of men on the move, the whinnies and cries of horses charging and dying. Ringing through the dark twilight air he heard them; the clash of good steel and the hail of commands barked from hoarse throats. Amidst it all lightning crashed. That was the One Power. No one could stand against that. But something was wrong; no one used that power to kill. Lots of the villiagers believed otherwise but he knew deep down that the power healed but it didn't kill, at least not like this.

"Get the women and children back!" Dirk shouted. "This do be no place for their like!" Giro was standing at his shoulder already wheezing. The man could still work from sun up to sun down without a break but sprinting was no longer something he could do with impunity he had passed his fiftieth naming day. "Do what Steadysteel says!" he bellowed but his voice was cut off by his lack of breath. "Greg boy go crack us out some fighting tools. Janus get those women back in the village. No one is to leave the village."

"Someone has to find out what's going on!" shouted out the smith Rorke. "True enough!" replied Giro. "I'll be about it…"

"You'll be doing no such thing" cut in Dirk forcefully. "I'll be that man Giro. You do have a wife and children and we will not be risking you." Giro was also no match for a soldier with a sword, nor was he able to run or spot like Dirk. Everyone knew that but there was no need to point it out. His friend nodded and gave him a look along with his pat on the arm that as clear as any words told Dirk he had better take a care with his life.

Dirk was off his sword swinging at his side on his other the balancing dirk. One gift of trust from which he had chosen his new name and the other was the weapon he had taken and used for which he had gained his other. He always wore them except while working. Another of his roles in the village had been a sort of unofficial peace keeper though he had rarely been needed. It was lucky though, lucky for times like today.

Soon the battle was around him though he avoided coming too close to the actual melee. The heat was awful as the lightning had set fires among the crops. What was going on what were these Aes Sedai (as Chanellers were called) doing?

He felt angry that these people were just trampling over this land as if it had no more purpose than to be their battle ground. He drew his sword and held it ready in his hand. But he did not want to kill, he had never killed. Still that strength and quiet confidence, that had allowed him to stay calm in every crisis of his short, four year, life, told him that he could. Yes he could kill he knew he could.

The battle ranged on and someone shouted "The Bees, The Bees and Illian! Forward the Companions!" he heard similar cries for the Dragon and some strange shouts in a language he did not understand. Finally he was crawling through a bush on top of a small rise that dropped away about two paces making a small over hang. In the little hollow below was a small group of solders. They were dressed in a way Dirk had never seen with overlapping plates and strange almost horned helmets. The way their armour moved sliding in and under the other plates was almost beetle-like. Their helmets framed their eyes and made them seem larger than they truly were adding to the overgrown insect appearance of the fighting force.

Most of the soldiers seemed to be resting but one was speaking rapidly in a foreign tongue to a woman with a hard flat face in a red dress. The dress was split and panelled and on each of the panels was etched a stylised lightning bolt. The man though apparently the officer by his plumes and stance was speaking deferentially to the woman. The symbols on her clothes and his deference suggested she was making the lightning. But something seemed wrong. He had never met a Chaneller, a so called Aes Sedai, but something about this one was wrong. Though he did not know what, he could not remember. For the first time in over a year he really wanted to remember what he had known in his past life. What if his lack of memory led to these people hurting Outlook Pleasant? What if it led to a death? Like Janus? Or Giro? Or Mya?

She was talking agitatedly and then angrily with the soldier. Though he seemed to respect and even slightly fear the woman he stood in front of the soldier did not back down. The woman raised her hands and let them fall in frustration. It was only in doing this that Dirk noticed the bracelet on her wrist. It shone as it caught the beginnings of the waxing moon. Attached to it was a silvery cord as if made from a moonbeam itself. And the cord was attached to a woman. One who had been knelt calmly at the lightning-woman's feet. She had her head downcast and wore a dull grey dress. Around her neck was a silvery collar and it was attached to the leash of silver that was attached to the first woman's wrist. This girl was a slave. He felt a sudden surge of anger. He was going to do something about this. He could not leave her there!


	3. Chp 3: The Honourable Thing

Now we can really get going. Thank you for reading.

Disclaimer: All profits to RJ

_**Chapter 3: The Honourable Thing**_

His sword was drawn and he watched a line of water drip down it. It must have started raining, though he had not been aware of it. That water, dripping from the steel blade seemed like sweat, sweat that should have been dripping from his brow. He was going to have to fight these men and maybe kill them. He should have been afraid, but he wasn't. Just like all those months ago, he was confident. He calmed himself by taking in some silent, deep breaths. Still, it was hardly necessary, his heart was not even quickening. His hand tightened, his body felt compressed, like a spring before release. Yet before he could pounce the scene before him was shattered by an explosion of sound and movement.

Men charged into the small hollow catching the group of soldiers utterly off their guard. They swiftly were brought around though and swords snapped up into readied positions and in moments full on battle was joined. The woman, with lightning on her dress, made an exclamation that was surly an oath and pointed her finger and snapped out a command. Dirk was confused because she seemed to be commanding the woman who was leashed to her. There was no way that slave could fight, or even protect her, if she was bound in this way. In any case she appeared neither strong nor armed in any manner he could make out. There was no telltale bulge or strange hang of the shoulders, which he knew as key giveaways of hidden weapons. What was this strange woman expecting her to do?

Then it happened, the woman stood and men around her were flung back and one exploded, or part of him did. Dirk could not tell. He suddenly felt sick. He had not felt the Power but he knew it must have been that.

_This was going to be very dangerous! None of this made sense! If she wielded the Power why was she leashed? How could anyone leash her? Maybe it wasn't a leash maybe it was a way to link their powers? But no, the woman was not speaking to her like one of a team. Those were all orders as if given to an animal not a powerful colleague._

The battle was close and dirty now. Descending, as all battles that were not duels did. That was the way of life and death struggles. People cared too much about the outcome to care what or how they did what they did. He could feel his pulse moving now with the swinging swords and shields of the men before him. Then, from the shadows of the overhang, came a spear. It was sudden and unexpected. It flew straight as an arrow and unerring, as if thrown by a champion. There was no error. The woman with lightning-panelled skirts was ripped through, an instant kill. Her breath rushed from her lungs without words. She fell with no scream to herald her fall only the slight exhalation of the air leaving her lungs. In contrast, the woman beside her suddenly burst into anguished howls of pain and suffering.

He barely knew what he was doing. But he knew one thing. He had to protect her. This was what he was for. He couldn't let her die! He burst from his cover and ran across the small battleground. As he cut through the melee, like a cat through the dark air of midnight, the soldiers made room for him. A soldier's instinct was never wrong; they knew that he was not to be blocked from his objective. As they parted he passed them, glancing neither to right nor left. He was there at her side crouching and suddenly wary of attack from any side. The other woman, the one wearing the bracelet, was now utterly still, lain on her side, the haft of the spear sticking into the air like a morbid standard, bereft of its banner.

He stayed in his panther-like half crouch, turning slowly from side to side, ensuring he was not struck without prior warning. His eyes sought out the spear thrower, but he saw him weapon less and dead. That was the problem with throwing your spear, he thought to himself. He was ready to fight alone; he knew exactly what to do. The woman in grey had stopped screaming, though she was still whimpering. He could see no mark on her so she must have been linked with the other woman in some way. They must have been allies after all. They had been companions of a kind, each reliant on the other. He felt a welling up of sympathy for her.

The sounds of battle had passed the soldiers were dead and all that remained were the men who had attacked. They were dressed in an assortment of ways. One looked to be a soldier himself. He wore a uniform and on his sleeve he bore the diamond motif of the Nine Bees of Illian. The others seemed to know how to hold their weapons also. Still of the six of them, Dirk knew if it came to a battle it would be the man half way down the line, that would be trouble. He held a long sword and though it appeared well used the hilt and grip had been recently rewrapped. Though the blade had plenty of blood on it, there were signs of recent whetting. He had looked after his weapon and had killed several men today. He was confident and not over eager to approach, he was the dangerous one. _Wearing red, holding a long sword, Dirk thought. If I am going to be killing one by surprise, it will be him, I'll wager._

"Move away from the witch!" called out one of the men. Dirk did not move.

"Come on man, think!" said the soldier. "You do no be one of these Sheenchan. They're invaders and they don't fight like normal men. They use these witches. You must have seen it!"

"You won't be killing her. She does be defenceless! She's looking a prisoner to me and in no fit state to resist you men. I will not be standing aside for the likes of you to be killing a defenceless girl when she can't even stand!" Dirk retorted.

He had been going to say, 'when she is not even consciouses', but she undeniably was conscious. He had just seen her push herself up slightly and rest her weight on one elbow. He couldn't understand why, if she could use the Power, she wasn't doing so and slaying these men who obviously wanted to kill her. The only explanation, his mind responded, was that she could not. Either because she refused to kill that way, which was unlikely considering what he had seen, or she could no longer channel for the moment. Therefore she was truly defenceless. She needed protecting.

"Look stranger," said the soldier in an uncomfortable voice. "You're not with them and the Light take me if I want to be killing one of my own countrymen today! There's more than enough o' these Sheenchan to be fighting without killing each other protecting them!"

"Sorry" replied Dirk, "but I cannot let you kill her."

"Why not?" replied the man, his voice betraying his exasperation, though he held his weapon, a heavy broad sword, with a steady hand. "Why are you defending her?"

"Because it is the honourable thing to do and I consider myself a man of honour."

"Then there is nothing more to be said," finished the soldier. "If your one, who talks that kind of fool's talk, there do be no convincing you. Light! You sound like a Whitecloak!" Despite the man's obviously disparaging comments, his voice carried, with its exasperation, a certain respect. Dirk took comfort in that and got ready, his left hand slowly pulling his dirk into a throwing grip.

"Kill him lads. You know if she gets free, she'll kill hundreds. It's worth one of our own to kill one of her."

No sooner had he spoken than the dirk had been sent flying. The man in red died before he was aware he was under attack. That would make this next part a lot easier. The men shouted angrily and came at Dirk in a rush. These men were for the most part not trained swordsmen. They held their swords low and Dirk silent and brooding in the wake of his first kill was merciless.

His sword whistled down over the guard of the first attacker, killing him even as he charged. He pulled it down and through cutting till he was clean of the windpipe and sending his blade down to knock the second attack, aimed at his front, to one side. Without true aim he swiftly slashed his sword back horizontally across his chest. This made the man who's blade he had deflected retreat from him. Four left.

He pulled his sword around and flipped it so it went around his wrist. He moved it from a backhanded grip and back to a forward grip in a blurred moment. He was not thinking about that though. He was concentrating on the two men who had not charged outright. One of them was the soldier. It looked as if he would be the next biggest problem. He was cautious and probably had been reasonably trained in swordplay.

Almost unconsciously he blocked the blade from the left and allowed the pressure from that block to send his sword blade across to block the attack coming in from the other side. When out numbered it was crucial you never stay still, unfortunately he could not leave the girl, so he was going to be surrounded. That annoyed him, because he was wise enough to know to put his back to a wall. Instead he settled for constantly turning. He tried lulling them by turning at a constant speed clockwise. He deflected each attack and then as the more cautious two entered the fight he made his move.

The soldier attacked him a classic form, a long overhead arcing blow intended to split open his unprotected head. Knowing this would expose him, he pulled his own sword into a two handed grip, then he slammed it into his opponent's blade. This jarred his enemy forcing him to move back to recover himself. Then suddenly increasing his tempo dramatically he span counter- clockwise and gutted the man behind him. He had been about to slay him from behind and had not expected to need to defend himself. The shock on the youth's face almost overwhelmed Dirk. He could have been one of the apprentices from Outlook pleasant, but with a sword in his hand. This boy was not ready to play the game of swords with killers.

Now spinning as if he had danced with a sword since his first naming day he slew another, passing his sword above his head to parry an attack, due for his back. But it was over, there were only two and neither of them was the man in red. He might have been a match for Dirk, he had looked dangerous, but these two were too slow.

He lunged forward and his sword was partially blocked by his opponent's sword coming across. However, even as his sword was being pushed to one side and safety, he stepped forward and shoved his shoulder into his opponent. As the man fell backwards, reaching out reflexively with his free hand to break his fall, Dirk moved over him and stabbed his sword down impaling his chest. But his luck had run and so had some of his strength. He had put too much into that sudden burst of movement. The soldier finally landed a slash across his black. He jerked away from the bite of the blade, but he could feel the blood along his back. Not too much and best of all he still had feeling. His spine had not been severed, that would have been death. No the soldier had not made enough of his chance.

Turning and rolling at the same time he came up in a crouch facing his opponent his sword raised to block an overhead swing that did not come. The young woman in grey had grasped the soldier's leg to prevent him following Dirk. He could have sworn aloud. No! Why won't you just let me protect you? Don't die on me! I hate it when they die!

The man had turned and for some unfathomable reason she did not flee. She seemed unable to move. Maybe her injuries were worse than he had supposed. The soldier raised his sword, she was going to die, and he would not get there in time. He was going to have killed for nothing. But then his hand suddenly touched something cold, but wet. The wet part was warm; it was blood, flowing over the hilt of his dirk. Pulling it free and snapping his wrist forward in one motion he let fly. The soldier fell.

He moved over to the girl slowly looking at the death he had wrought. Six dead, with the other men and soldiers littered all around. _It had been right, it had been!_ He stooped down to try and lift the girl. She wouldn't let him at first and then when he managed to move her, she cried out as if she was going into cramps. Exhausted momentarily, by everything that had happened, he released her and sat down.

It was hitting him what he had done. He had killed people, six of them and now he might not even save her. He didn't even know her! She was an invader and used the Power! She couldn't even move she was so injured. "Why did I do it" he groaned in momentary self pity. But his own answer came back. _Because it was the honourable thing to do!_


	4. Chp 4: The Riddle of the a'dam

Thank you to my reviewers. The time you take to review is appreciated.

A little slower this chapter but trust me it is necessary.

Disclaimer: All profits to RJ

**_Chapter 4: The Riddle of the a'dam _**

The smashing and slamming sounds of battle still echoed around the little overhang. It was not finished yet. Dirk looked over at the young woman he had risked so much to help. She was not trying to move though her cramps seemed to have subsided. If you sit here, you will die, he thought to himself.

Pulling himself to his feet through sheer will he retrieved his weapons and cleaned them quickly. It was more a ruse to buy him time to think than a proper regard for his blades. What to do with her? He couldn't move her, so she would have to help. Sheathing his weapons, so that he would not be mistaken as an attacker, he moved over to the female who was lying slightly curled on his side. He squatted down anything to reduce his height and potential threat. He made sure he lowered his voice making it as soft as he could.

"I am Dirk Steadysteel. I want to help you. Your…" He had been going to say friends but considering she had been bound in this strange way, were they her friends? "Everyone here is dead, but there is still a battle going on out there. If they find you they will kill you! You must move!"

The woman looked at him wild eyed and he could see panic rising inside of her. He could understand her fear but he was becoming impatient with it. _If I was a threat to her she would have felt my steel by now! _"Listen to me!" he urged with a patience he did not feel. "You must trust me or you will die. Can we unlock the bracelet or the collar?"

To his surprise she suddenly cried out loudly in anger or, no it was fear. She was afraid he would remove this binding. "I do not understand" he said slowly and clearly. "Do you understand me? I do not understand. You must tell me what to do or I cannot help. Who are you?"

_Yes that was right if someone was panicked give them questions to which they certainly know the answers. Then as they get used to answering you can increase the depth of the questions._

She visually hesitated and then stuttered out in slurred accents. "I am Kea. I am a good damane."

"I am sure you are Kea" he replied and summoned up a smile though it was difficult. Those blasts were getting closer. "Kea, can you move with this _thing_ on?"

She would not meet his eyes and seemed to shake though it was barely perceptible, just the slightest brushing of the wind. That was answer enough, though he did not understand her reluctance. "So that is a no then. Kea I am sorry but I will not let you lie here and die. I've done that before and I can't do it again. Either you show me how to take it off or I will cut off that woman's hand."

Kea let out a cry like a wounded animal and tried to grab his wrists, as if she could force him to refrain but even that small act of violence seemed beyond her. Her keening was cut across by another cry and she fell backwards onto her back. Dirk threw himself onto her and covered her mouth. Whispering now he placed his mouth next to her ear.

"Stop Kea! You do not want to die! No one does. If you keep screaming like this that is what will happen and I will die too!" She had stopped now and his green eyes locked into her strangely clear blue ones. He slowly raised himself off her and removed his hand she did not renew her piercing screams. "If you don't let me help you, you are going to kill me" he explained flatly. "I will not leave you. Now can you just trust me? I trust you."

As he said that she smiled for the first time. It was as if he had just given her a treat like a dog that had done its trick. "You must twist it somehow" she explained calmly and still obviously uneasy with the words. She sounded like she was not used to talking. "My sul'dam does not let me see and Kea is a good damane and does not try."

"Okay" replied Dirk his smile natural now. This could still work they might both make it out of this. "So you can't move in this thing? I tried to drag you…"

She was already shaking her head. "When we are incomplete" her lip began to tremble. "Without our sul'dam, we are not allowed…" but she could not finish. Her eyes were on the dead woman beside her and she had begun to cry. Thankfully it was quiet.

_So she wasn't a captive, or at least she was but she loved her captors?_ To Dirk the thing was nonsensical but he had never been one to worry more about logic than results: time to take action. He grabbed hold of the wrist of the dead woman that was enclosed in the silvery bracelet. He searched it. He thought he knew a few things about forging and metal working but this was amazing. The bracelet was of one piece and not only that but the cord or leash attaching it to the collar appeared to be of a piece with it as well. That just could not be done! _But_ he thought as his smile became rueful, _whenever you think it can't be done; it only meant you needed the power_.

His hands searched the bracelet there was no catch and it had to come off. Sorry Kea he thought and pulled out his sword. "No don't hurt her" Kea said and he had to stop. "I won't do" he assured her. After all she is dead. And he cut down and through the wrist. Kea flinched as if she expected pain and seized her wrist as if she anticipated her own arm to receive the blow. Her surprise when she remained unharmed was almost comical.

Pulling the bracelet into his hands Dirk sat beside Kea and studied it. He could hear the noises of battle dying down and still getting closer. It sounded as if for now someone had 'won' this area. That meant they would be combing it over to pick up their own survivors and take in captives. That meant he did not have much time. Suddenly without thinking he pressed the bracelet inwards and felt something give and it popped open. He considered for a moment putting it on, maybe then she would be able to walk, but the idea of leading this girl around by the neck revolted him, even if it were for her own good.

"It's okay Kea look. If this do work with no catch and I can be opening it. Then I can do the same with the one on your neck." She was trembling again ever so slightly but she raised her head baring her neck and held her long hair out of the way. He felt around the collar and watched her reactions. Her eyes were closed as if she expected some fell punishment to strike at any moment. He kept feeling around the collar until he felt her stiffen between his fingers. He pushed and felt the same kind of give he had with the bracelet on one side but not the other. Keeping his hand there he felt around on the other side. Found the place that gave under his fingers. Kea had said twist. He pushed both sides simultaneously and twisted. Then there was a click and a pop and the collar came free.

Dirk stepped back holding in a bark of joy from freeing this woman and saving her life. It felt as rewarding as he had known it would be. Then her head snapped up and he saw her eyes go from wondering to frightened, to wild in a few moments of blurred emotion. Wind suddenly whipped around him from no where and he was lifted from his feet like a ragged leaf caught in a hurricane. He was hurled around the overhang and slammed into the trees and eventually released with a crunch into the raised side of the overhang itself.

Oh the pain! The cut he had already received blazed in agony and he felt blood soak his shirt. His head was ringing from dizziness and the sudden impact. While his body tried to deal with the physical pain his mind tried to catch up with what was going on. Why was she hurting him? He had helped her? He had saved her life? He had given her the same gift of trust he had been given. He had expected her to return it. Apparently she did not trust him at all. Opening his eyes he saw her still standing in the same place glaring at him fixedly. She consciously held him pressed back against the wall of the overhang. The pressure was so great he could barely breathe. He knew if this kept up he would back out and then… well.

"I can still help" he gasped out. The words were quiet but he could barely breathe. "What do you want?"

Lightning crackled in her eyes and Dirk thought just for a moment he heard a distant rumble of thunder. "What do you want?"


	5. Chp 5: The End of a Life

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Disclaimer: All profits to RJ

**_Chapter 5: The End of a Life_**

For a moment, the moment after he had taken his last breath and realised he could not take another, Dirk had thought he was going to die. Yet Kea suddenly stopped whatever she had been doing and the wind that had been pressing down on him simply disappeared. He slumped to the floor, his wounded back screaming at him in outraged agony at the way he was treating it. He had no energy left, simply slumped against the overhang using it to support his back and stay upright. What would she do now? He had been tossed around like a child's ball. He was totally in her power, helpless as a child.

"I am sorry!" the girl dressed in her drab dull grey dress ran to him and to his utter shock and surprise burst into tears as she ran. "I know I shouldn't! I know I shouldn't!" She continued her voice a begging pleading whimper. "Please don't hurt me. I didn't mean to use it. Honestly, I didn't! Please don't punish me!"

Dirk just sat in shocked silence for a moment, contemplating Kea, searching to understand the changes that had suddenly overtaken her. But he knew he could not allow her to grovel as she was now doing. No woman like her should ever be humiliated like this.

"You do not be in trouble with me, Kea…" He had wanted to add something to her name. Kea just seemed too simple he wanted to set her apart. To show her he respected her and the power she wielded. "My lady Kea," it was better than nothing. "Listen to me. I do not understand why you couldn't move or why you have struck me. But I do know that I can help you. My Lady what do you need?"

"You serve me!" Kea laughed through her almost hysterical tears. "Don't you know what I am? I am marath-damane." When Dirk just continued to look at her his face neutral she apparently realised these words meant nothing to him. "I am one who must be leashed! I kill things, like a fire if I am not controlled I will cause harm and even death. That is why I must be complete. A sul'dam ensures we only use the power the right way. No one is harmed who should not be. We serve as good damane. Kea was a good damane and my sul-dam gave me treats. I would never use it without them. I promise I would not!" Here her voice began to rise again.

With a grunt of pain that he half managed to suppress Dirk pushed himself up the wall of the overhang until he stood erect. Then he carefully reached down and lowered himself onto one knee. He did it slowly and deliberately so that it could not be mistaken for a fall. "Lady Kea, I can help you do what you need. But you have no need to be leashed. I am sure what you did to me moments ago was a mistake and it will not be repeated.

"It won't be!" she assured him raggedly.

"Then, we do never need discuss it again," he replied firmly. "You are in danger here Kea. We are behind the lines. Your people have fallen back and my people as we have seen will try to kill you in revenge. I would not want us to have to kill again."

"I will not channel again until I am complete. I have learnt my lesson," she burst in as though she needed to defend herself.

"That do be a shame" admitted Dirk. "I had hoped you could use the power to disguise us."

"I can only do two things for the sul-dam. I am good at fighting with it and I have a special talent with earth and spirit weaving."

Without wondering about exactly what all this meant feeling the understanding come instinctively and knowing she had to be listened to Dirk simply nodded. Taking that as a command to continue she did so.

"It is not common to be strong in earth like I am" she continued and for the first time she showed a genuine smile. "I can use the power to search through the history of an object. They call it Reading the Roots, though I don't know why. I can see anywhere that, that object has been and find those places." She smiled openly now. "It makes me valuable… expensive."

"Expensive!" Dirk cut her off his voice a shout. "You are a slave then? Property?"

"Oh yes all damane are. But we are prised above all other animals, even the raken that can fly. We are the most useful…"

"Stop! I cannot be hearing this!" Dirk exclaimed shaking his head. "You do speak of yourself as a thing and an animal. Kea, my Lady, you do be a woman and one with amazing gifts at that. Maybe you should use them to serve others, indeed of course you should. But you should not be being a slave! People should honour and protect you so that you can be of greater service. Imagine…"

"No!" she shouted and cut Dirk off in mid sentence. "You know not of what you speak. You must get me back to my people, the Seanchan. Back to the sul-dam so I can be complete. Only then will I be safe and you safe from me. Will you help me like you said?"

He almost refused, but he knew he had asked her how he could help, and now she had told him. He would be as callous as a Tairen, if he did not do as she asked. He nodded his assent once touching the left side of his belt where his sword hilt rested. "Good" she said, letting out a breath she had obviously been holding. "Could you bring the a'dam? I am not allowed to touch one." As she said this last, strange word, she pointed at her silvery leash, now lying on the floor. Dirk looked at it with distaste, but found himself moving to pick it up, as if he had been obeying Kea all his life.

But there recent outbursts had been too loud and Dirk could hear approaching feet and voices. Discovery now could mean the death of Kea or, almost as bad, the need for him to kill again. Not a thought he relished. "People are coming" he hissed in an urgent whisper. "We must leave, please follow me!"

She did so and they quickly moved away from the voices through the light woodland. Kea was not used to travelling either silently or through woods and seemed to have little or no knowledge of wilderness lore. He guided her but he knew they were moving too slowly. Sure enough it was not long until he heard fresh movement, with sounds to match, coming from ahead of them.

"People did hear us shouting at each other and several groups are around we have to hide. As you cannot hide us, I will do my best" he whispered to Kea. Motioning that she should move as quietly and carefully as possible he led her off the natural way leading through the trees. The trail they had been following was simply openings between the trees but they needed to lose these men. He felt frustration as he searched for a good hiding place. This was why he worked in cities instead of the wilderness. You could always hide easily with plenty of people. Smothering his feelings of annoyance he had her lay herself flat against the back of a broad tree he did not know the name of. Then carefully so as to bend as little grass as possible he lowered himself into the long grass and shrubbery nearby.

The voices continued to approach. Dirk was holding his breath and trying to see through the thick grass. If it turned into a confrontation, he did not want to be caught lying on his front, when the blows started falling. Men, some of them boys, entered his view. He could not make out all their individual faces or even their voices. There seemed to be different groups and they stopped and started talking to each other. He picked out words like 'noise' and 'wind' in their discussion. He levered himself up just enough to be able to count how many there were. Then he saw and he dropped himself flat before he started to count.

One of them had been Giro. That meant that one of these groups was Outlook Pleasant men. He couldn't fight them. They had trusted him and spared him. But would they spare Kea? After all he had done today he couldn't let them kill her. He doubted she would come quietly as a prisoner, or at least that they would believe, that a channeller could be safely imprisoned. He held himself flatter than a plank of wood and breathed about as much as one. Still after several moments which seemed to be stretched into hours they spoke again and left.

His relief almost overcame him. Barely feeling the objections of his wounded back he arose and went to get Kea. As he rounded the tree she looked into his eyes and smiled. Something lit inside of him. Her gratitude was right. That was what he lived for. Then he looked past her and he saw Giro looking at him askance.

"Dirk" said Giro slowly; speaking the name at the same time Dirk spoke his. "What are you doing? Don't you know what the women in dark grey are?"

"I know Giro but you must listen to me" replied Dirk. "They do be leashed." He held out the now coiled a'dam in his hands. "Controlled somehow, they do be little more than a sword in the hands of the women who control them."

"A willing sword, I'll be bound!" snapped Giro in response. "Listen Dirk, even if they are only weapons, you don't leave your enemies battle ships alone just because they aren't the generals do you? You know the score Dirk, she is one of them and if she gets back to them they will use her just as surely as before. Damn it Dirk!" he shouted the last three words. "People from Outlook died today; Kelly Wattle and Kenny Steiner, plus his two boys. If she goes free then she will kill again."

Dirk felt sweat beading on his forehead. He could not kill Giro, the man who had given him his first job. This was the man who had been his friend and been the first to offer him the gift of trust.

"Giro, you do be my friend, mayhap my best friend. You know me, Steadysteel, they call me in Outlook. Trust me Giro and leave. I do not want to be fighting you. That is the truth. Yet Giro I won't let you kill her. It would not be right."

His friend grunted and stared him up and down. Dirk had not drawn his sword but there was no doubt, if he did, he could kill Giro. They both knew it.

"I won't kill you Giro. You are my friend and if someone threatened you I would defend you as surly as I am defending her."

"She is threatening me!" snapped Giro, but his voice was much quieter than it had been. He did not want to attract attention which was a good sign. "She threatens us all. The White Tower. Thought at them yet Dirk? When they hear about channellers being 'leashed' and used as weapons? Then what will happen huh? I know, I know. You have no clue and neither do I. But hear me good. When these invaders and the Tower meet it will be awful and I don't want any friend of mine to be in that bloody mix."

"I have no argument but this. Trust me" finished Dirk simply.

"You know I trust ya" muttered Giro. "But this will be it for you in Outlook. I've sent the others away when I saw the top of your head. I almost called out to you, but then I saw her and I thought I'd better not. Lucky for you huh?"

Then after a pause and a considering look at the still silent, and clearly fearful, Kea he added, "Or maybe lucky for all of us."

He held out a hand to Dirk. "Bye Steadysteel. I hope we can meet after all this is done. But I wouldn't show my face too broadly if you know what I mean."

"Dirk nodded. Take my things Giro. I don't want them going to waste. You can make sure the right people get them. They will accept them better from you than a runaway me. You can tell people I died. Now go before you do be missed." So saying Dirk shook his friend's hand and Giro turned and left. Only then did a cord inside Dirk relax. He had been ready to act throughout. If Giro had not chosen right he would have left him unconscious.

"You didn't kill him" said Kea musingly.

"Of course I didn't he do be a close friend. A man I trust! I don't like killing. I am not a killer!"

"For all that you are very good at it," responded Kea. Though her voice betrayed no hint of it, Dirk felt for the first time that Kea was needling him. She was deliberately trying to provoke a reaction or a response of some kind. He did not answer but simply thought over what she had said. He must have learnt how to kill before his new life. He began to wonder and then stopped himself. It could drive him mad if he dwelt on what he would never know. That life was gone and now he reasoned so was this one.


	6. Chp 6: Trust

Thank you to my reviewers. The time you take to review is appreciated.

Thanks Viggen, for everything.

Disclaimer: All profits to RJ

_**Chapter 6: Trust**_

The morning rays were beginning to break through the edges of the forest. Dirk was so tired he could barely keep himself upright. Whenever he looked back however and saw Kea struggling along he felt himself strengthen. He could not faint because she would then fail as well. His back was agony, though it felt like it was starting to scab over properly. The back of his shirt was stained darkly with his own blood and it was going to leave a scar. He knew she didn't want to channel, but he would have asked her to except for the knowledge that she had no ability with anything but fighting and her special talent. What a waste of the power to only use it to fight! Surely there was so much more she could have learned with it had she been free. It infuriated him that he was taking her back to slavery and a life time of captivity. Worse he was doing it at her own request. He had tried to slow down and even suggested they stop for sleep but she had panicked.

"What if I channel?" she had said. Strangely she had used the last word awkwardly as though unfamiliar in its use. "No we must return as soon as possible!"

But as Dirk looked through the scattered branches to the open road ahead and the village that stood nestled by that road he knew the Seanchan must have moved far back indeed. Though there was evidence the battle's edges had touched the place people were out and about their business as usual. Farmers were in their fields and there were few looks of fear or wails of mourning. They would have to rest.

"Kea, do you trust me?" he asked turning back towards his charge. She still dressed in her drab grey dress looked at him as if confused.

"Trust you?" she asked her mouth forming the words as if they were foreign.

"Yes. Will you do as I ask and believe me when I say what I will do?"

"Yes," she agreed immediately. "You have always done what you have said. You are trust."

Dirk managed not to smile and pressed on. "Good and I am going to trust you too. I do hope you won't let me down." As he spoke he saw her straighten her back and a look, like a child or a dog, so anxious to please, came into her eyes.

"I cannot get you to your people today. If we travel unprepared and tired we will be intercepted and you will never return home. No listen do not interrupt." At these words Kea snapped her mouth shut and looked appalled that she had almost interrupted him. "You must change clothes, just for now and only as a disguise. Those grey dresses will be remembered and we can't risk them. We also need food and a place to sleep. So stay here while I get what we need. Do not run I will get you to your people. I told you… No I promise you now that I will."

She paused but seemed not to dare words. He moved off into the village. He was not long returning soon enough with clothes for her.

Giving her some privacy he moved away and turned his back. She was obviously uncomfortable about shedding her uniform of slavery, but to Dirk it was a minor victory. Then he proceeded to explain his plan. They would stay in the local inn, but she must not talk or her accent would give her away. She must follow his lead. She accepted everything without dissent or discussion. She obeyed very well. That was part of the problem he reminded himself, even if it was highly useful right now.

They knocked on the Blue Boar's front door once as they opened it. Dirk did not have to pretend to be tired and travel worn. His new ragged grey cloak covered the blood stain on his back and it made him look scruffy and woe begone.

"Innkeeper do you have a place for a man to rest his head and maybe eat a morsel?" he asked wearily. "I have the money, don't doubt it."

The innkeeper had been more than happy to set them down at a table and give them some thick stew with chunks of cold bread. The bread had still been baked that morning and was soft and filling. They ate in silence and as soon as they were done even though it was not yet midday Dirk pleaded for rooms. It was at this point that it almost went wrong. One of the maids asked Kea directly if she was okay and silence would have drawn as much attention as a Seanchan accent, well maybe not THAT much, but still. Kea drew herself in and suddenly to Dirk surprise she mimicked his accent.

"I do be so tired miss. I do just be wanting some sleep!" After that no one asked any more questions. Dirk passed a couple of coins to the landlord and the moved into one of the back rooms.

Dirk stretched himself out on the floor and was almost asleep as he muttered "Well done in there, Kea. Sleep well."

"Dirk!" she hissed quietly crouched right by his ear. He lurched upright scared out of his wits at being snuck up on. His ears were apparently not what they used to be.

"What is it?" he asked. Looking up at her and trying not to sound angry or annoyed. She was likely feeling out of sorts and afraid in this foreign setting. After all if they were discovered he might be in trouble but she would surly be killed. She was only young after all. Or was she that young… from somewhere came the feeling that she probably wasn't so young after all. But he shrugged it off to concentrate on what she was doing.

Trembling enough for him to see she was pointing at his side. In surprise he looked to see if he had started bleeding again. His insides went cold she was pointing to the a'dam, the leash, poking out from the side of his new dull grey makeshift cloak. "What?" he challenged. He knew what but he was not going to make it easy for her. This was wrong, so wrong it felt like it went against his very reason for living.

She began to shiver even beginning to shake in front of him. She was not afraid of him. He had proved himself and if she used the power as she had before she could wrap him up helpless or kill him in an instant. She feared herself and maybe just a little she feared the leash. He hoped it was the latter.

"You must leash me. I can't touch the a'dam, damane are not allowed."

"I will not!" he kept his voice low, but allowed his disgust at the thought, burn through into the conviction of his voice, all the same. "You do not be a horse that needs to be hobbled Kea. You will not run and though you do doubt it, you will never hurt me again."

"But I can channel" she gasped. She seemed to be unable to bear her own daring at even speaking of her ability, as if it made her unclean. "I am marath'damane until I am complete. You know what that means?"

"You must be leashed, or something like that," responded Dirk darkly. "Who told you that?"

"Everyone knows it. They come around the Empire, the sul'dam do and test all the young girls. I was young, maybe sixteen, when they told me that I was marath'damane. Damane means leashed ones, to do what I do means you must be controlled. The only way to do it safely is to have a sul'dam, to be complete."

"Rubbish! I have heard of women who are called Aes Sedai. They live in a huge tower and do be respected by all. True some do fear them. But your controlled lives do cause much more fear. You do destroy life with the power and that is all. You don't hide, learn, build, research or heal," he could not quite keep a note of bitterness out of his voice at that last.

"But…"

"But nothing, I do trust you Kea. You understand that? That means I know that if I sleep here, you will not hurt me. You will not use your power and destroy this building or hurt anyone in it. I do trust you. I know that if someone do come to kill me tonight you would stop them. Trust Kea. You have my trust and you will not betray that. I know you won't!

Now sleep. You are my friend and I will not bind you. That my Lady is final!"

With that he collapsed onto his side, the key on the chain that he wore day and night, under his clothes, slipped out to lay on the floor at his side. Then he fell asleep.

It was dark when he awoke to find Kea staring at him a strange look in her eyes. He knew that look, though he did not know from where. That was a look of interest, a desire to know and ferret something out. Something had changed between them because of last night. But that was in his opinion, just fine.

"Good evening Kea!" he started brightly. "Let's eat and leave before anyone else is even up."

"Who are you Dirk?" she asked in response. That took him aback. He considered for a moment and then remembered all he had said about trusting her before he had gone to sleep. Well if he trusted her she deserved the truth. It could not do any harm anyway.

"I am Dirk Steadysteel of the village of Outlook Pleasant. At least that do be the name I've used and the place I've lived in for the last four years. Before that I do not really know. I have forgotten it all."

"Is the key you wear around your neck the key to your house?"

"No, at least I don't think so. I did be wearing it when I started remembering things again."

"So you haven't gone looking for everything you had before?"

"I don't know what I had," Dirk responded cheerfully. "I knew what I had in Outlook though and that suited me just fine. "If I ever find out, that might be nice, but what I don't need, I don't worry about."

"You didn't need me but you have looked after me," said Kea her voice fading almost to a murmur and her eyes suddenly downcast.

"I know something of who I am" replied Dirk a stern line of steel coming into his voice. "I am a man of honour and I don't need a memory longer than four years to help me know the difference from right and wrong. Now enough, let's eat and then we do be off."

They spoke no more until they were clear of the village and walking brisk and free down the road. When they did speak again it was Dirk who began it and they talked of unimportant things, like the scenery and different animals on Seanchan and here in the Westlands. Eventually they came to the subject of age.

"I suppose I am about thirty years old, maybe a little more" replied Dirk. "Giro reckoned I looked just short of thirty when I arrived in Outlook and he do be a good judge of that kind of thing." Giro had been a good judge of character too, thought Dirk but did not say it. Thoughts of his old friend who he might never see again were painful to him. "How old do you be then, Kea? You have your memory."

"Well it is harder than you might think. We don't celebrate our naming days because we are given a new name as a damane. I think I am maybe eighty or ninety something years old."

That shook him for a second and then he accepted it. He had been sure she would be much older than she looked. Though he admitted to himself, he had not expected her to be so much older, than her apparent twenty years.

"What is your real name?" he asked.

"I cannot remember" she said, but Dirk thought the response had come a little too quickly. Still he let it lie they were coming up to military guard post. They would soon be at the front and they were going to have to find a way to sneak through. They would though, he felt that old rush of confidence he always felt when he knew he was going to be good at something.


	7. Chp 7: Oaths

Thank you to all my reviewers. The time you take to review is appreciated.

Cheers Viggen!

Disclaimer: All profits to RJ

_**Chapter 7: Oaths**_

The guards were sleepy. These dim early morning hours were hardly the time for sane men to be up and about. They looked around but only in a cursory fashion. If an attack from the Seanchan came it would be big and loud and from the south or west. So it was little wonder that the two small, and near silent, shapes passing from the east and moving surreptitiously west attracted little notice. Dirk moved ahead guiding Kea past the woodland obstacles. Anything could make the crucial noise that would ruin them. His feet were sure and his eyes were sharp enough to see even in this dim pre-dawn glow.

"I think we do be past the greatest danger my Lady" Dirk confided to Kea. But his voice belied his confidence, as he kept it whisper-low. "Where will we find your people?"

"They don't actually waste time giving damane that kind of information Dirk. After all we are never without our sul'dam. Now don't look so cross and just keep going west. They will have plenty of patrols out and we will meet them soon enough."

Dirk did not doubt that. But he was worried about the meeting. Even though she was returning she was little more than a slave, an expensive and useful slave, but still a slave. He was of the opposing power and the Seanchan could very likely associate him with their enemies. If it came to violence he was likely to be outnumbered and he could not guarantee Kea's safety. What had he gotten himself into? And for what? Honour? Trust? The answers were, yes, and yes. So he smiled at himself inwardly and put his head down and pushed onwards. He chatted with Kea to pass the time, talking about her homeland and the people. Without meaning to he concentrated on their military and the way they used and saw the One Power in Seanchan.

Perhaps because Dirk was unaware of what he was doing Kea was remarkably open and frank about how the Seanchan waged war. She herself was, after all, a weapon. So she had seen the use of huge three eyed creatures called grolm and the fascinating flying mounts called raken close up. Apparently the Seanchan used these creatures like Westlanders used horses to supplement and enhance their fighting capabilities. She spoke of damane in exactly the same voice. They too were an animal that had proven highly useful, when properly trained, and put into battle.

Dirk never pretended that he was resolved to Kea's opinion of herself as property and a weapon. Constantly he battered against her custom-held beliefs and urged her even as she returned to her captors to see her own worth. If he could only make her believe that at least she might have a hidden personal freedom if not a physical one. They moved all day and when they stopped to sleep, she did not ask him to replace the a'dam.

They travelled constantly only stopping to rest and twice to eat when Dirk found edible berries and fruit on their route. When they spoke it was usually Dirk who drove the conversations. His life was a boring one and his stories of interest were exhausted quickly whereas Kea seemed to have lived a life of danger and exotic experiences. It was hard to believe someone who looked so like him, a human just the same, could be so very different.

It was on the third day they met the Seanchan.

"I can see them… can you?" Dirk called back.

"Yes. I can always see further than soldiers," Kea assured him.

"I doubt they have seen us…" continued Dirk. Then taking a breath he prepared for the plunge. He had held off as long as he could but he had to ask or he would not forgive himself. He knew her too well now to just let her go back to a life he knew was wrong without at least trying to offer her a way out.

"You can still turn back."

She turned to look at him already shaking her head. She was not shocked and did not even appear angry. She may not agree with him but they had spoken together too much for her not to understand his point of view by now. Indeed it seemed to Dirk that she could no longer really argue with him. After all she had walked free and not channelled a wink that he could tell. She was safe and there was no reason she should not remain free and safe too.

"I cannot turn back. The Power, _saidar_ is too lovely, I need to feel it. It is maddening to go without it. I must find a sul'dam so that I can embrace it again."

Dirk scowled he could not help it. Little as he knew of _saidar_ he knew her. She could control _saidar_ as well as any sul'dam could! Safer than any of them, he would be betting! But he had determined to let her choose her own way. That after all was freedom. Even though he felt he knew better he must not compel her to do as he wished, or he would be no better than these sul'dam.

"Then let's go take you home."

The Seanchan saw them from a long way off as Dirk had hoped. They were not surprised then when the two travellers walked out from the trees. Indeed, they were waiting for them.

They stood in a lose semi-circle. There were at least eighteen warriors. Every single one of them wore full armour and a sword at his side. The armour was made of sinuous overlapping plates. Their helmets were wide and had iron symbols on. These were artfully worked in symmetrical designs and formed nose guards and horns for the helms. In was difficult to actually make out the eyes of the officer until they got very close. The front of his helm was two twisted protrusions of mental that looked like the curled legs of some giant spider or insect. The officer was easily identifiable however; his armour was by far the most colourful, having stripes and markings of colour in several places.

"Who are you?" he asked his Seanchan drawl heavily pronounced.

"I am Dirk Steadysteel and this is Kea," replied Dirk but he was immediately cut off.

"Why are you here Dirk? This is a war area and you should either be keeping to your townships or signing yourself into the Ever Victorious Army."

"Let me explain" replied Dirk trying to keep annoyance out of his voice. "Kea is from Seanchan and got separated in a battle last week when the rest of her unit died. I am just bringing her back. That is all."

The officer's face tensed and Dirk heard the other soldiers shifting uneasily. Last weeks fight must have gone just as badly for all the Seanchan units as it had for Kea. Though he couldn't imagine how considering they had had the damane on their side. Still that wasn't why he was here. He just wanted to get out.

"Indeed. Kea," said the officer turning at last to her. "Is this true? You are dressed like one of them. What unit were you from? You have no sword or armour? Where you a prisoner?"

Kea moved forward trembling, but before she could speak Dirk spoke again.

"Officer, what is your name?"

"I am Captain Harrik Kharrd" he replied shortly. "Well woman?"

"Kea… Kea," she seemed unable to get it out. Her fear however finally drew the solders' full attention to her. Not a single one made a sound and every eye was fixed on her. "Kea is damane Captain."

She threw herself onto her knees as she said these last words and covered her head cringing as if from an expected blow. Kharrd however did not move. He was obviously shocked built such was his control that only briefly was his conflict shown on his features. When he spoke there was no shock and certainly no fear.

"There are no sul'dam in my unit," he explained leadenly, "you must be taken immediately to one. At our base there are sul'dam and they will be extremely pleased at your recovery, as will the Captain of the Green. These new damane we collar here are not very useful in war." After this short speech he turned to Dirk. "I did not recognise a damane in such strange attire; we will get her proper clothes as soon as some can be found. You, stranger, should be congratulated. Damane are expensive and very useful. Not all of your countrymen would have brought her back here."

Dirk nodded not trusting himself to speak. It would all be forgotten. They would re-clothe her in grey and re-collar her. She would go back to being a slave and forget anything he ever said. He did not want that. He did not want her to forget him and what he had said. He did not want her to go back to being a slave even if that was all she had ever known. But he pushed those feelings down. They were selfish; they were what he wanted and not what she had asked for herself. Anyway it was too late now. Even if she changed her mind, he could never overcome even four such warriors alone. These were trained, armed and ready.

"Have you sworn the oaths?"

The words, spoken by Kharrd broke into his brain through the tumult of his inner conflict. Oaths? What oaths?

"No, there do be no oaths I remember swearing. Only my promise I would return Kea to her people at her request."

It was so sudden he did not know what had occurred for a moment. His knees had been kicked out from behind him and he had collapsed into a kneeling position. Suddenly Kharrd was armed. He wasn't holding his sword in a threatening manner, but it was nevertheless bare of its sheath.

"It seems everyone on this side of the ocean has forgotten the oaths they should have sworn and remembered. They are to obey and to serve."

"Obey and serve who?" asked Dirk.

"The Empress and the Crystal Throne."

Dirk looked at Kea. He saw her eyes widen. She knew him well enough to know. If it was a choice between what was right and what was easy she knew what he would decide. She was afraid for him, which confirmed that he was dealing with his life in his hands now. It would be easy to swear and then disappear as soon as possible afterwards, but something inside him just would not let that lie.

_Oaths define us. They are what we stand for. People judge us by the fact we stand by our oaths. Making the wrong sort of oaths to the wrong masters is enough to condemn us to the Dark One. Never make an oath you intend to break. You are better than that._

"Sorry," he said calmly. "But I am a man of loyalty and I won't make an oath that I can't keep. You are invaders and I do not know you. I can't swear loyalty when I may have to break it."

"If you will not swear you must be killed" intoned Kharrd. His voice was solemn and formal and Dirk did not doubt its truthfulness. He tilted his head back to stare the captain in the eyes.

"If you believe in oaths, you know I cannot swear if I will later break it. You would do the same as me if I asked you to swear death against your Empress."

"Then we will do as we must," finished Kharrd nodding slightly.

"And I will do as I must!" replied Dirk. So saying he rolled back and stood drawing both sword and dirk within the single movement. The motion had been like water flowing down a mountain stream, seamless and calm while still a flurry of motion. Still he was sure Kharrd could have hit him before he had risen had he wanted to. Even if that were not true Dirk wanted it to be. He wanted to believe that Kharrd respected him enough to give him the chance to fight for his life and his beliefs, before he died for them.

"No don't do this!" Kea howled. "Dirk, you saved my life? Why? To die now? I can't bear it! No, swear Dirk, swear!"

Dirk shook his head. "Sorry Kea. You do know what I believe about freedom. I think it do worth dying for."

Then he had no time to think of her but only to think of the deadly dance of steel. Three at least had closed on him and as he had predicted they were all trained well in combat. He was going to die but he felt oddly calm, as if dead was where he should be anyway. He had accepted it already; long ago.

"No, not Dirk!"

The scream pierced everything and suddenly the air was filled with lashing wind. It was as strong and as real as living arms. The men around him were plucked from their feet and flung from him. They smashed into trees and hurtled through bushes and low lying bracken. Fire blossomed from inside Kharrd's helmet as his head exploded in a conflagration of fiery death.

Dirk glanced around and saw Kea on her feet crying. Her face was not afraid or even sad however. It was a mask of anger and fury. Two men either side of her were held with swords outstretched unnaturally still. More were running at her. The Seanchan warriors were wild with fear. A marath'damane it seemed was something as feared as much as a damane was scorned.

"Stop" cried Dirk, but they pressed onwards. The closest one stopped dead as if caught in the vice that held the other two soldiers already and the next. How many could she hold? Would she die to save him? When she did and they could all move again, he would die anyway. He had to help, he had to distract them!

"Stop! I do have an… (What had they called them?) a'dam!" he shouted in relief. He saw he had chosen the right word. Three of the warriors turned and moved towards him. They picked up their pace from a walk into a run when they saw him actually produce the item. Their faces lit with a sickly fervour for the filthy object. When they got close they were not ready for him. His sword was through the first one's unprotected throat before his face managed to register he was being killed. He died still grinning, believing he had won. The second only had time to register he was under attack. He tried to prevent his death bringing his sword up but Dirk knew what he would try. He threw his arm up high as if to try for a huge downward stroke, but even as his enemy drew up his guard and looked heavenward, following his weaving blade, he made his true strike. Slamming his left hand clenched around the handle of his dirk into the exposed neck.

The third mounted a full defence but alone he was no match for Dirk. He followed Dirk's forms meeting him stroke for stroke. Boar rushes down the mountain, met Sun rises over the lake. Cutting the wheat, met the Lion's pounce. But Dirk was dictating which forms came when. After several clashes in the space of several seconds he feinted left and struck right. Recovering from the feints the soldier forced his body to whip around to get his blade in the way of the fatal attack. But now he was off balance and even as he stopped the deadly strike Dirk knew he had him. He pushed his sword down dropped his Dirk and brought his blade two-handed across the fighter's belly. Straps gave way and blood gushed from the deep wound. He would die but Dirk didn't have time to deliver an immediate coup de grace. Kea was faltering.

She was holding six soldiers, but the sixth one was not still as the others had been. He was moving forward slowly but surely; moving towards Kea. His arm was slowly forcing its way up. It was as if he was pushing against a man almost as strong as himself but not quite his match. She was beginning to sweat, something Dirk had never seen her do before. She must have been drawing heavily on her power to do what she was doing. She needed him. He had to protect her. This is what he was for. This was his purpose!

He rushed towards her. As he passed those who were frozen, they died. He did not stop to consider the morality of killing them while they were helpless. His only thought was for her, to keep her safe. One, two, three dead. Then he confronted the one who had been making progress. His eyes were bulging as he saw Dirk approach. His muscles clenched and he screamed soundlessly in his effort to raise his blade. He died.

Kea was visibly relived to only be holding two men and Dirk managed to smile at her as he turned back. She smiled and he was struck by her apparent youth, beauty and innocence. She was so grateful to him, another rescue. Then, without a flicker of change on her face she blew the two helpless men into bits.


	8. Chp 8: Reading the Roots

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_**Chapter 8: Reading the Roots**_

"No Kea!"

The cry came out of his mouth loud and demanding but hopelessly inadequate and late. There was no calling back the life that had been so thoughtlessly spilt. How could she have? They were safe, there had been no need.

"That is not right!" Dirk railed at the damane. Turning towards him Kea glared and gone was the meek girl of minutes earlier. In her place was a woman unleashed in all her fury. Without moving an inch she lashed out and he felt as if he had been struck, in his midriff, by the trunk of a tree. He collapsed, surprise robbing him of the moment needed to prepare himself for the blow. He lay on the floor gasping and winded; unable to stand, barely able to force a breath.

In moments Kea was kneeling beside him and was wailing her apologies. At least he assumed that was what they were. She was so distraught she had lapsed into a tongue he couldn't follow. She lifted his head and laid it on her folded legs. Suddenly her quick silver monologue resolved itself into understandable words.

"marath'damane that is what I am. We are dangerous! I must be leashed! Don't you see?"

Dirk rolled over on his side, till he was on his hands and knees. Once in this position he pushed with his arms and levered himself from the floor. What he had to say could not be said lying on his back. Still struggling to breathe properly he stooped, placing his face closer to Kea's, who had remained kneeling.

"You are not dam… that word! I do never want to hear that word again! You are special Kea! People like you can help others. You do have unique gifts. With The Power you can do so much good. You don't need to be leashed! You need to be protected!"

She lifted her chin slightly and met his eyes. She was obviously distressed by what she had done but was not crying now. She met his gaze tentatively as if expecting anger, hatred, pity or contempt. He locked her gaze with his.

"You have been used like a glorified sword but that is not what you are for. You can serve in many ways. The Power you use can be used to serve, without killing. It must NOT be used for killing!"

"But I need to touch it!" she burst out. "Don't ask me to do without it Dirk, I couldn't bear that!"

"No I am not asking you not to touch or use it, just the opposite. I think you should channel, how and where you want to. But The Power must never be a weapon, it is not for that." He leant back and sat down resting his tired body. He closed his eyes trying to clear his head and almost lost consciousness. Instantly he shook himself awake.

"It is all I know how to do" Kea said quietly.

Dirk had no answer for that. He just knew if he let fatigue take him here surrounded by Seanchan dead, they would be in danger later. Without speaking he forced himself to his feet. He didn't trust his body to do more than one thing at once. So, unspeaking, he moved one step at a time to the edge of their erstwhile battlefield. He stopped at a small green-leafed tree, leant on it then turned to beacon to Kea.

"Come, they will kill you if they find out what we have done." Then slowly but steadily he led the way from the dead Seanchan. Kea was with him in moments.

Dirk stirred and awoke finding a sea of stars twinkling above him. He wondered how long he had slept, he remembered very little of their last walk. His fatigued body had demanded too much of his attention to allow him to spare any energy for thought.

He felt better now though, if still ravenously hungry. His back didn't hurt nearly as much as he had expected it too. Shifting into a sitting position his back resting on an innocuous root he looked around for his companion. He did not need to look far. She was sitting only a few steps from him, sat as though she was waiting for something. Dirk tried not to think about food. Hanging out the front of his shirt was the brass key he kept around his neck. Blinking to adjust his eyes, he picked up the key and looked at it. He did from time to time, just to remember that there had been a life before Dirk Steadysteel of Outlook Pleasant. It was a simple enough key, small but not remarkably so with four evenly spaced teeth. It had a loop at one end through which was strung the thin silver chain that he first remembered wearing that day he had 'woken up'.

"You must want to know about who you were," Kea's voice broke in on Dirk reverie. "Otherwise you wouldn't have kept it so long."

"I guess," replied Dirk, "it might be interesting to know who I was. To know if I had good friends or a family or what I was good at and that kind of thing. Might be fun to remember I suppose. Still I do have very few regrets and that is a treasure that do be worth paying a pretty steep price for, I am thinking."

"Yes I suppose you are right" she agreed. "I wish I could forget some parts of my life." She paused as though lost in thought, then without warning changed the subject.

"Dirk, _men_ don't channel here do they?"

"Absolutely not!" Dirk did not have to pretend his astonishment, or his vehemence in this denial. Everyone knew men had almost destroyed the world. Under the Creator light there was no thing more feared. Some claimed there was a man who could channel now, a Dragon. Such a thought scared Dirk more than he wanted to admit. The Dragon's Fang was a mark of evil after all.

"Good. It's just you seem to know so much about The Power…"

"But I don't channel!" cut in Dirk urgently.

"No I didn't think so, but I don't know how you can think like you do. Know what you know, without… well you know… being with people who do channel. Aren't you curious Dirk? Don't you want to know if you did have something to do with… with people like me?"

So that was it. She was wondering what this meant for their friendship, companionship, or whatever. Well, what does it mean, said a small voice inside his head. "I guess I do want to know" he admitted with a shrug, "but there is no benefit in worrying about what I cannot have. I can't_ make _myself remember and I have no clues to work with."

"You have the key," she reminded him.

"Yes but I don't know what it do be to!" he snapped back. It was in that instant for the first time that Dirk felt a twinge of bitterness for his lost life. The first time he had allowed himself even for an instant, the indulgence of self pity. A feeling of injustice that he should have the credit for all he had done. He should have the friends, family, possessions and life that had been taken from him. In that moment the silently simmering feelings of bygone years reared up and it was then she made her proposition.

"I was thinking about what you said," Kea spoke up, "about the power not being used for fighting and death. I want to do what you said. I want to be that kind of a person, not a weapon, not something dangerous that needs a leash. I thought what I said was true, that it was all I knew how to do. But then I remembered I can Read the Roots."

He looked at her blankly. He could not remember what that phrase meant.

"I can touch objects and read their past. Where they go and how they fit. I could read your key."

For long moments, that seemed to fill the air between them till it was charged with apprehension, they said nothing. In the end Dirk made his choice wordlessly. He did want to know. Deep down there was a part of him that felt cheated and needed that part of himself back. He held out the small crass key towards her. Kea moved closer to him, taking the key between the palms of her hands. He felt the chain around his neck go warm but that was the only indication he had that anything was happening. After that he waited, not knowing what to expect, or how soon. She did not stir for several minutes. At one point her eyes flickered and she craned her neck as if trying to see over his shoulder. Another time, after almost half an hour of waiting she bowed her head as if reading from a book. Dirk was just beginning to feel stupid enough to consider slipping the chain off his neck. He wished he hadn't just held out the key but that he had given her it. But it was so important to him; he just could not have given it away, which proved that he needed this. He needed these answers. Only one woman could give them to him and she was standing right in front of him. Lucky? Destined?

Without any warning or tremor of change her eyes snapped open. At the same time the key went cold loosing even the warmth of his body heat. Hardly knowing what he wanted to hear her say he asked "What did you see?"

"The key has been with you through all these years" she began. "I had to go through it being carried around your neck day after day. But eventually I managed to get through all that surface interference and get to the roots."

Kea took an audible breath. "It is the key to a box. It is a plain wooden chest quite long and thin. I would say three hands deep. When it went into that lock I could feel it was home."

Dirk frowned, unable to prevent a feeling of disappointment. What had he expected? The Power must be limited like everything else. Had he expected her to tell him his life story? His expression of disappointment must have been pronounced because Kea reached forward and grasped his left arm gently in a consoling manner. "Don't worry Dirk. That was not all. I know where the box is and because you kept this key so long, what's inside must be important. They will give you your answers." She smiled and her face seemed to light up, as if she was an expression of this wondrous Power, she wielded so effortlessly.

"Where?"

"The Royal Library in Caemlyn. You left it there with a woman."

Dirk could not believe it. He let out a breath he had not realised he had been holding. "Thank you" he managed to say. "I did want to know after all."

When he said no more Kea smiled again and pressed. "So when are we going?"

"Going? We are not going anywhere!" Dirk responded.

"Yes we are! I have never been to Caemlyn but we must now. You left it there and kept the key. That means you knew you would forget Dirk. That means, all this," she motioned around them. "This whole new life you've led. Your amnesia was all planned."

"That is precisely why we cannot recover it. There must have been a good reason for me to forget it…"

"Then why did you leave a way for you to recover it!" Kea snapped at him cutting what he had been about to say short. "Listen to me," and her forthright speech after having been so meek, so took him aback he did not interrupt.

"I will be killed or worse if we stay here. I must leave my people forever now. I need to channel and that means I will be found. No Dirk, not might, will! My people are very good at catching and punishing runaways that is why there are so very few."

It was Dirk's turn to grin; only days earlier she had been begging him to get her re-leashed. Freedom it seemed was addictive. Kea's argument made sense as far as it went. But she could not stay with him forever. She needed protection above what he could offer. She needed the Aes Sedai, the wielders of the One Power. Only they could protect her from the Seanchan. He would do what was necessary regardless of the cost to see her safe. His old life was gone he knew that and so he would return to his roots. One way or another he would see Kea safe before he died. Somehow he felt that was going to be inevitable now, his death. He did not know how he knew or why but it was clear to him it would occur.

_Strange_ he thought to himself. _I would have thought I would be more scared._


	9. Chp 9: The Box

Thank you to my readers for taking the time to read.

A significant amount of time has passed.

Disclaimer: All profits to RJ

_**Chapter 9: The Box**_

It was a bright summer's day and the sun shone down warmly on her back as she walked the streets of Caemlyn. She loved Caemlyn, all the high closely bunched houses to the myriads of rushing people. Everyone was busy, going somewhere looking for something. She would not want to live anywhere else. As the wars in the south continued it made her glad to be here in the safety of Andor.

There had been times even in recent months when Andor had not been safe. Still, the Daughter Heir had returned after all and that Gaebril character had been removed. Good riddance in Paula's opinion.

The Dragon had ruled for a while in Camelyn, not that Paula had ever seen Him! She knew enough to leave a man who could channel well enough alone. Still he was getting involved in helping people learn and that could only be a good thing.

Her musing had brought her to her destination: The royal library of Andor. With a nod to the clerk by the door she moved within. This was her haven. It was one of the most vast collections of knowledge in the entire world. Of course there was Tar Valon but one could not compete with Aes Sedai after all! "We are all children compared to them" she mused aloud. Shaking her head to dismiss memories of pots piled high she set aside her shawl and set to work cataloguing book titles and authors in a large ledger. The leather bindings cracked as she opened the heavy book and even these everyday sounds brought a smile to her face. There was no where she would rather be! It seemed ridiculous to her that at one point in her life she had been disappointed to think all she would ever be was a librarian. With a contented smile firmly in place she got to work. Hours had passed before she was disturbed.

"Careful!"

The voice was sharp but constrained to a raised whisper. It was coming from the opposite side of a filled bookshelf. "That cut the Trollocs gave you has not closed yet."

Paula paused in her rapid writing and tilted her head to listen. It had been a woman's voice. She could have sworn she had said 'Trollocs'.

"You do be telling me to be careful do you!" came a man's deeper voice in reply. "You shouldn't be talking at all and words like 'trollocs' do be dangerous words."

The reply was too low for Paula to catch though she was listening intently now. Still she heard the vehemence in it and thought whomever the man was he better take note and back down. So she was doubly surprised when the next thing she heard was a smothered chuckle from the other side of the bookshelf. Quietly she raised herself from her seat. Curiosity had always been a problem with her. She could not count the amount of pots she had scrubbed because of her cursed curiosity. She edged up closer to the books and tried to peak over them and look at the speakers from between the shelves.

"I'm do be glad we are here, that is all" the man was saying. "Nothing seems to have gone right since we entered Lugard. I thought once we were out of Seanchan held lands the problems would disappear but no such luck. Anyway how will we find this box?"

"By finding the woman it was left with," this time Paula did peak through but quickly ducked back because the man's eyes had been turned her way. The woman's voice did sound a little strange accented. But not one that Paula could place.

"How do we do that?" replied the man. "Sit on the floor and repeat 'the Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills' until she just turns up. We are not Ta'veren!"

"I have seen her; I'll know her when I see her again."

At that the man subsided and grunted something unintelligible. "You know I am right Dirk. We have discussed it and fought over it over a hundred times these past months. You would not have left the trail if you had not expected yourself to follow it."

She leaned closer her curiosity so aroused she could not pull away. How had the woman _seen_ the person she needed but still be intending to meet her for the first time? What was it that these two companions disagreed about? How had the man 'left himself a trail'? It was fascinating she felt like she was back in white.

Suddenly without warning a hand shot through the books and latched onto her throat. Paula was so shocked she couldn't even let out a squawk, never mind a scream, before her wind pipe was ruthless closed by the forceful grip.

"Don't channel there are Aes Sedai about, enough to cause serious trouble. We aren't ready for that part."

"Not yet" the woman agreed. She had come around the bookcase and seized both of Paula's arms. The arm grasping her neck was presumably that of the man. He was still standing on the other side of the bookcase, with his arm through the shelf over whose books she had been peering. He released her but she had barely drawn breath and he had skirted around the bookcase and was in front of her, a sword now in his hand.

The woman could channel? She had stumbled upon an Aes Sedai deal… oh wait no she hadn't. They said not to channel so that they would not be detected. She did not have the ageless Aes Sedai look either. Still she did not look like one of the Seafolk channelers. What was going on?

"Why were you spying on us?" he asked.

"Another of these… what do you call them Dirk? Shadow Friends?"

"Darkfriends, right" amended the man. His eyes were steely and hard. He looked ready to grind her into the floor with the weight of his look alone. His body was taunt with anticipation, or maybe fear. Every muscle seemed to quiver, ready to strike. Paula almost passed out but held herself together with a calming exercise she had learned in younger days.

"I did not mean to spy and under the Light I am no darkfriend." They did not look like they believed her. "Please listen, I was just curious, this was an accident!"

The man looked like he might have believed her in another life. Behind his eyes there was something integrally kind but his body seemed to have been hardened beyond feeling. His jaw was set and he shook his head. As he did so a key on a thin chain slipped out from under an unwashed shirt. At the same time Paula stirred a long unused part of herself and confirmed that the woman could channel. Quick as a flash the woman's eyes lit and she struck Paula.

"She can channel, I have to shield her!" she snapped, desperately trying to keep her voice low but not being wholly successful.

"Is she strong?" asked the man who seemed to have taken a step back. "She does not look Aes Sedai to me."

"I am not, I was too weak to even become Accepted" blurted Paula. "Please don't kill me, this was just a mistake. I only wanted to see if you could channel."

The woman seemed afraid and angry but the man who had been as cold and deadly as the sea a moment before seemed to be clearing. His face changed and he moved over to her and gently removed the other woman's hands. "If so we are sorry but we have been badly treated by those who have listened in secret. It seems the dark has spies everywhere and we tire of trust."

It was as he said this, his face softening, looking younger; that suddenly a memory was twinged in Paula. It was as he turned from her with that key, loose on the chain around his neck, spinning away from his body before sliding back around to his chest. It was in that moment his face came as it were screaming back into her mind.

"Kye is that you in there? You look so different!"

These simple words had a bizarre effect on her two erstwhile attackers. Suddenly the woman did a double take, and then a triple take. After a few seconds goggling she breathed, "By the Empress' Throne Dirk, it's her! I didn't recognise her at first but it's her!"

The man on the other hand let his sword fall from limp fingers. So suddenly Paula thought he had collapsed he sat down on the floor. His back resting against another bookshelf he put his head in his hands and seemed to be struggling not to cry.

"Who are you?" asked the woman as she moved to Kye's side and squatted down beside him.

"I am Paula al'John" Paula replied. "I am a librarian here."

"Do you have a box with a lock that this man once left in your care? Is it still with you? Still intact?"

"Yes I do. Is it important?"

"A foolish question" replied the woman but her tone was more that of the frustrated parent than the angry customer. "You can see here the importance," she said pointing at the struggling man.

"I told you, that you would care Dirk. Now maybe you will believe me when I tell you that you are a man and not a Gardner!"

An odd sentence to be sure but one Paula understood despite the foreign words. He had thought to leave behind this old life and his feelings and now they were aroused again.

Finally he raised his head. "Can you get the box and bring it here? Please?"

The woman gave him a curious look but he snapped at her and the look vanished. "I have trusted this woman for I don't know how many years with my secrets. We can trust her for five minutes!"

Paula did not answer any of their questions instead she got to her feet and left them immediately. It did not take her long, though it had been years since she had hid it she knew exactly where it was. The once place no one would ever bother to look. The old harvest records. Arriving within minutes of leaving the two she uncovered the box and lifted it. It was not very heavy, though its length made it a little unwieldy. As she returned to them she wondered what Kye had hidden in the box that was so important to him? Important enough to return now and in such secrecy; and unimportant enough to leave with her for four years!

When she returned Kye and the woman were waiting for her. They had replaced the books that Kye had knocked aside when he had reached through the shelves to grab her, though she could see at a glance that they had messed up the careful order. She didn't mention it.

"Here you go," she said laying the box before them. "Do you want me to leave?"

Kye was already on his knees. "No I have trusted you with this and you have proven more than worthy of that trust. You have done everything and even though I did not recognise you and we did treat you harshly you have returned good for evil. You do deserve answers as much as we do."

Pulling the key from around his neck he slid it into the lock and twisted it. It fit perfectly and despite years of disuse the lock clicked open obediently. The hinges squeakily slightly as trembling he opened the lid and removed what was inside.

For a moment he appeared to hold nothing, or rather he seemed to be holding the air itself made somehow solid. Then as he unrolled what he held it became clear that it was some kind of cloth. From within there fell something hard and metal. It landed with a clunk on the floor and rolled slightly. It was a sword. The metal was exquisitely worked. The pommel capped with bees made out of gold and arranged in a diamond shape. The hilt and crossguard were of a piece and oiled leather was wrapped around the grip. The sheath in which the blade currently rested was made of metal but the top was bound in straps of leather with loose attachments that appeared to be for a belt. On one side at the top of the sheath right under where the crossguard would rest was the symbol of nine bees in gold arranged in the same formation as on the pommel of the sword.

Picking up the sheath with a look similar to wonder on his face Kye grasped the hilt. His fingers locked onto it as a man who has fallen from a cliff grabs onto an outcropping to halt his fall. His knuckles whitened as his grip intensified, Paula could almost not resist stroking her neck were he had seized her earlier. In a flash of movement he drew a pristine steel blade. Shining for all that it had not been treated or whetted in four years. He slashed it through the air and smiled apparently pleased with the feel of it once more within his grip.

Re-sheathing the blade he picked up the now fallen, constantly changing, piece of cloth. It was large and thick, and changed its colour to match whatever colour was behind it. Swinging it around his shoulders, he let it settle. It sat well on him, like a cloak. Indeed it was a cloak, as he demonstrated by pulling up the hood.

"What is all this?" murmured the obviously amazed girl.

"Don't you know?" asked Paula surprised.

"No" replied Kye. "Until today, I have only known myself as Dirk and so has she. We have no idea what these things are other than they were mine and I thought them too important to lose. Do you know Paula al'John?"

"Well of course. That's your sword from when you were in the army and your cloak, well… Lots of people recognise the cloaks. There's a few of you in Caemlyn in fact."

"Sorry Paula, but I must beg you to speak plainly!" Kye cut in. "I do not remember, do tell me!"

"Well that's a special cloak and only one set of people wear them. You are one, at least you were and I don't think it's the kind of work you can retire from in the normal way." She paused here and gathered a breath. She hadn't gambled on him not knowing anything when he returned. He had said if he ever came for it have it ready and that he might be a little disorientated that had been all.

"Well when you have to have something said straight, get someone from Andor. You serve the Aes Sedai. You are a Warder!"


	10. Chp 10: The Warder

Thank you to my readers for taking the time to read. It has been a while since I posted thank you to all of you who are still with me.

Disclaimer: All profits to RJ

Note: The character Dirk's real name is Kye. So either appellation refers to him.

_**Chapter 10: The Warder**_

"A Warder!" exclaimed Dirk. "Now I have heard that title. It is a defender of the Aes Sedai."

"Yes" agreed the librarian. Her face not youthful and yet still not wrinkled showed her exasperation. She kept it out of her voice but not fully out of her face. She had not expected him to know so little when the time came.

"What is this…Warder? Is it like a sul'dam?" asked Kea.

"No!" replied Dirk at once. "Your sul'dam are slave masters and animal handlers. Here we see those who can wield the power as people, or more."

"Aes Sedai are people to be respected, honoured and protected, young girl!" exclaimed Paula. "Warders are men who bond themselves, or I should say allow themselves to be bonded to one Aes Sedai. They then serve as her personal bodyguard for the rest of their lives." She paused and took a long breath and then her voice becoming softer but even more serious. "Those men who take this road consider it the highest of honours. They are the very best of men."

Kea looked confused and began to chew on the end of her hair. "So Dirk, I mean Kye, used to be one?"

"You don't stop, being a Warder. It is like an oath, you can't remove it. It's forever."

"Then why," countered Kea turning her face to stare directly at Paula "has he no Aes Sedai? Where is she? Shouldn't he know? The Death Watch Guard is the only thing I can think of that is similar to these Warders. They are the best and are sworn to the Imperial Family. They would not lose their charges. It seems strange to me that Di... Kye has lost his."

"Yes, that is true" mused Dirk. "I must find her I suppose. The only thing is I cannot remember who she was or how I am supposed to find her. I've never felt so lost." He sat down on a tottering pile of books and only by quickly shifting his weight did he prevent a total and comical collapse of the said pile.

"Tar Valon" he muttered almost to himself. "That's where the answers are, it's where they always are. Still this sounds like we do not understand everything that has happened. We may well be walking into danger. A city full of Aes Sedai for example. Best that for now you keep calling me Dirk, Kea. Beside," he added with a sheepish grin, "I don't know if I will ever be comfortable with the name Kye."

"A dangerous place, the White Tower, these days" put in Paula. "There are problems though I'm not sure what. Someone is apparently attacking the Tower or going to. A fool's errand if ever I heard of one. Who can possibly think that they can defeat women who can channel? Hawkwing couldn't and that means no one could!"

"Well we don't have a choice. Kea, as you now know Paula, can channel. If the Seanchan get a hold of her they will collar her and well… I'll have to go down in a blaze of glory. I've given her my word and I do be a man of my word."

"That you are" agreed Paula her voice normal but again her mobile face betraying an uncomfortable undercurrent of past pain. "Little meant more to you than duty, oaths and obligation."

"The White Tower, that is where Kea will be safe; it do be where she can be trained in how to use her power for right." Dirk's voice and whole posture had changed. He had become more assured and his back had straightened. He no longer looked like a man who had snuck into Caemlyn but rather a knight ready to go and announce himself to the world. Things were changing, that much was sure.

"We must leave now, if there is unrest about the Tower we may struggle to enter." He held out is hand and Kea took it looking bewildered but grateful for Dirk's presence. She seemed to be a woman tossed about by a storm of surprises but one who knew she was in a sturdy boat.

"We'll take our chances with these Aes Sedai then?" she reasoned. He opened his mouth but with a short laugh she cut him off. "Because they are our only chance, I know!"

With words of thanks the two struck out as if to leave Caemlyn that very minute in dramatic style. That however was short lived as the library was quite a maze to the unschooled. Sheepishly they returned to Paula and asked her to guide them out which she did without laughing at their hastiness… too much.

Still farewells were brief and the duo head into the city. "Not enough money" complained Dirk as they headed for the edge of the city. "We don't have any food or supplies and even our directions are limited at best. 'Follow the road east to Aringail and catch a boat north with the food supplies.' I don't remember any of these places. Feels like I haven't ever seen a map in my life." Dirk knew he was whining but his initial surge of adrenalin or gusto had flagged swiftly in the face of reality. Shadowspawn were loose in the land and the Seanchan on their tail. They were travelling in secret and one of them had no memory and the other was a foreigner… even better, from an invading power.

"It will work out," she said. And he suddenly felt something go through him. He snapped his gaze suspiciously around him and then onto her. She averted her eyes which was all he needed. "You channelled," he stated. "What did you do to me?"

"I'm not sure. I just let the power into you for a bit, it always makes me feel better when I hold it."

"Don't channel" he began but she cut him off something she would not have dared do to a lame dog a few weeks ago.

"It isn't even channelling," she countered loudly. "I just let the power flow into you I made no weaves. I remember what you said about Aes Sedai being in town. I am not a fool Dirk I was careful! No one felt me channelling, they could not know we were here!"

"Unless of course they heard you," came a deep voice.

That caught their attention both. Standing several paces in front of them were three men and two women. At first Dirk didn't believe they could be whom he feared. Then one of the men moved and he saw it: the grace, the deadly step of a warrior that didn't waste a movement and knew his trade. For these men this was no trade this was life itself. They were dangerous, hounds trusted enough not to be leashed, dangerous enough to never stray far from their master. The women had something different about them too. They were somewhere between twenty and forty he would guess. They had a beauty to them and an aura of power and strength. These were Aes Sedai and their Warders and they had blundered into them.

How would they take to Kea, being a Seanchan channeller, he did not know? With this in mind he lengthened his stride to pull ahead of the smaller woman. Though with the One Power did his body being physically in the way really offer her any protection? Aes Sedai don't kill with the Power, isn't that what he had heard? He tried to hold onto that as he steadied himself in front of his charge.

"Maybe he is a Warder," remarked one of the men. "He stands well."

"Maybe Jerome, but does he fight as well?" threw in his nearest companion. As he spoke he drew two axes. Both were to be wielded one handed but they had enough room on the haft to be swung two handed if the wielder so desired. He put one in a reverse grip the axe head pointing downwards and behind him. The other he hefted normally, and then he quickly span them around, as if to get a feel for their weight.

The one called Jerome pulled out his own sword and looked at Dirk. "So you wear that cloak as if you had the right, but that is no Aes Sedai you be protecting."

At least he knew now there was no point bluffing. If the Warders were not fooled the Aes Sedai themselves certainly would not be. Why hadn't he taken off the cloak? It had just felt so natural and yet he knew he should not have made such a sloppy error.

"They are complete" said Kea quietly behind him.

"Complete?" he whispered back.

"I think she means we are linked and she is right. Your little wilder is quite strong but she should not…" There was a brief pause, then the woman her fair hair in long braids shook her head and finished. "Try to do that."

"What?" asked Dirk confused?

"I tried to hold the power and she shielded me, or at least one of them did. I am not sure which is the sul'dam," explained Kea.

"Sul'dam?" asked one of the Aes Sedai aloud.

"Seanchan," provided the other.

"At least she isn't a rebel then. Maybe we could help her find her way."

"We need to go to the White Tower," cut in Dirk and the glares he received for speaking almost on the heels of the Aes Sedai were many and awful. He was silenced by them.

"Why do you need to go?" asked the Aes Sedai with the fair, braided hair. Her dress was simple but her stature was regal and her gaze demanding.

Surprisingly Kea answered. "I can channel and my protector explained that if I want to learn and be looked after on this land I must join myself to the White Tower, to you Aes Sedai."

The two women exchanged a look. The second Aes Sedai wore a white dress a little low cut for Dirk's taste but it clung to a shapely form and made her appear something of an ice queen. Still her unreadable face and hard eyes made him think of a cold steel blade in a sheath of ice. As she spoke it was as if she had drawn on him.

"She seems to manage her manners well, for a frightened child. She is a Wilder and foreigner, so her snatch for The Power when she felt threatened is understandable. There is hope for her as a novice yet. You however have no right to what you wear. If it were not for your excellent advice to the girl I would hand you over to Kera's Gaidin now to make them an answer. You need not explain your plans for you revealed them to all with your blundering mouth. We will take this girl to Aringail and see her safely past the rebels into the Tower. She will be protected and receive her training. You," here she pointed imperiously, will remove that cloak and we will return it to the Tower for a rightful user."

"Pardon Aes Sedai, but I will not let you take things in my charge from me" replied Dirk. He made an intense effort to remain calm. He was not angry at the woman or her Warder Protectors. The assumptions they had come to and the actions they intended to take made perfect sense. He was angry at himself for getting into this mess. He was angry that he could no longer relinquish Kea and angry that he did not know enough to safely refute her accusation that he had no right to what he wore. He could hardly claim he had been a Warder but no longer knew who his Aes Sedai was supposed to be! It sounded pathetic even to himself. But he could not willingly give up this tangible part of his identity. Not after having just received it.

"Gaidin take it from him, girl come here out of the way. Men tend to do things messily" replied the woman in white. The woman she had called Kera laughed a nice rich laugh. "Sometimes it's nice to get a little messy. You have to gut a fish before you can eat it after all."

The Gaidin, another name for Warders it seemed closed in on Dirk. The two axes were spinning, the sword rock still. "Stop!" cried Kea. "I need him; he saved me from my people. If he will not go, neither will I!"

"Do not be foolish girl. That ship has sailed. You are shielded and we could wrap the two of you in flows of air and carry you off like so much cargo." Kera Sedai made her point simply but she was not looking at Kea. Her eyes were on her Warders and Dirk. Her gaze implied she would find what followed at least mildly entertaining.

These two were trained, even expert fighters. It was unlikely he could win this fight. Still his pride would not let him relinquish Kea or the cloak. It was just too soon their meaning too deeply ingrained in him. They were all he had left. So reluctantly, even sighing audibly he drew his sword.

"I do not want to be fighting Warders," he admitted resignedly.

"Not many do," replied the one called Jerome with a grin. "Ready Saffé?"

"Course" replied the axe man with a wide grin of relish. Then in he span.

Dirk's sword sprang forward, and he was surprised how much better it felt to be fighting with this blade, than it had with the others he had used. The blade felt lighter in his hand and moved almost unerringly at his touch. Its balance was perfect and its grip seemed moulded to his hand.

He deflected the downward axe blow and dodged away from the following horizontal cut. Then he reversed his momentum and span going back to back with Saffé, spinning round now in front of Jerome. His wrist flicked and the point of his sword flashed from in front of his left knee to his opponent's left shoulder. Even the slightest move of his hand sent his blade swishing through the air faster than his eye could follow. His instinct for fighting was upon him and his blade responded to every command.

He turned frequently often having to abandon excellent opportunities in order to fend off another attack. Jerome, the swordsman, was skilled enough to have caused him mortal worry but it was Saffé who caused him the greater fear. The single heads on his axes hung down the shafts like icicles off an archway. If his sword got caught between the inside of the blade and the shaft it could be snapped or yanked from his grasp. Then the battle would be over.

An axe cut inside his guard, while his sword was arching over his head to block an incoming blow from the man's other weapon. Dirk hurled his body backwards, more falling than anything else. Neither weapon managed to land a killing blow, but his block was compromised; his wrist screamed out in pain as his blade vibrated under the attack. He knew enough of his opponents from the brief fight, to know that Jerome would stab him before he got up.

"Stop it!" came a shout. It was so near and loud that he felt it more than heard it. It was so heavy it knocked the breathe out of him. Then he realised that as Kea had shouted, she had flung herself atop him, desperate to protect him; to save his life.

"Do not kill her!" the command was instant and imperative. The Warders stopped their attacks in mid-motion; so controlled, so disciplined.

"She must go to the tower, novices are hard enough to come by as it is" curtly announced Aes Sedai, clothed in white.

"Even if he has crossed the line maybe he could accompany us. As long as he submits himself to our terms" she continued.

"Sister is that wise?" cautioned Kera Sedai. One of her two Warders moved slightly. It had been a minor movement, so minor in fact that Dirk was not sure which of them had made it. But Kera's head snapped forward in a way that betrayed the calm voice she then employed.

"Yes? You would speak Gaidin?"

"Kera Sedai," it was Jerome. "He fights as if White Tower trained. Not only to say he is good, mark you. He is an advanced swordsman, but he has tower trained moves laid atop his skills. I can feel the work of Hammar on this man."

The Warder's strong clear voice appeared to become subdued all of a sudden and tailed off. Dirk looked at him and was surprised to see a mask of a face hiding some hidden pain. This left him confused as he had thought this would have been a point in his favour.

"Are you saying he is what he claims? Though not one of us recognises him, nor he us? Where is his Aes Sedai?" questioned Kera Sedai.

"I wish I knew," muttered Dirk under his breath.

He had thought to speak low enough to remain unheard but flickers of eyelashes told him that he had not been as successful as he might have hoped. Still neither the Aes Sedai nor their sharp eared Warders made any comment.

"May I accompany you then to the White Tower? I have some questions to ask there that I think will help all of us." As he said this Dirk motioned to all the people present. Kea, himself and the Aes Sedai with their Warders.

"You may, but you will doff the cloak and keep your sword bound into its sheath, until we get those answers" explained the Aes Sedai in the white dress. "My name is Turanna and you would do well not to cross me. Now come do as we say and let us make haste for the Tower. I long, to present our new novice to the Amyrlin."

With that swords were sheathed and sharing nothing but a silent look of reassurance Dirk and Kea followed the two Aes Sedai out towards the east.


	11. Chp 11: it is worth it

Thank you to my readers for taking the time to read. Thank you to all of you who are still with me. I hope you are enjoying Dirk's journey into becoming or re-becoming Kye.

Note: The character Dirk's real name is Kye. So either appellation refers to him.

Disclaimer: All profits to RJ

_**Chapter 11: It is worth it**_

The party was a strange one even to someone who knew nothing about them. The four men walked in a way that seemed to scream danger, and yet remained as silent as a wavering whisper in the wind. The women had the imposing looks of women of power and yet did not seem particularly old. Their clothes were comely and well made and yet not one, of the group, was decked out in riches. It was a strange ensemble that much was clear even to those who had no idea what they were really seeing. What were they seeing? Two Aes Sedai and their three Warders, escorting an ex-damane, would-be novice and her protector.

By day they attempted to appear as common place as possible. None of the Warders wore their cloaks and the Aes Sedai kept their hoods up to shadow their faces. Apparently according to the Aes Sedai many people could recognise them from the 'ageless' look of their faces. This was news to Dirk and he determined to remember it. Just like he was determined to remember everything he was finding out about himself. He asked questions when he could however he was afraid to ask the questions that burned within him. His real questions would lead to him having to provide answers he didn't have.

Questions like: What happens in Warder training? Who is Hammar? Do any of you remember an Aes Sedai with a Warder like me? Have any other Seanchan damane become novices? So he kept silent and listened instead of speaking. He tried to gain their trust just as he had gained Giro's trust all those years ago. He spoke little but made sure he never lied. He made sure any duty allowed to him was performed accurately and immediately. Still he carried himself high to ensure they never saw him as their lap dog but as a friend, a companion. So much he wanted to know, but despite his wanting their trust he was not sure he could trust them. So he said as little as possible and they did not ask. Kea however he talked to often in low voices away from the others. This suited the Aes Sedai who liked to talk with their Warders by themselves.

Kea was struggling to find the right balance. The Aes Sedai were anxious to get her to the tower and into 'novice white' as they called it. Despite this they seemed to both want to teach and instruct her before they got there. They quickly began to realise Kea wasn't just a girl. Dirk would watch these lessons from am distance wary in case they suddenly decided to hurt her. He knew they could tie him up in the power now. They had done it to him to show how pointless his presence was, but he had to try. Still they had been as good as their word.

Kea had learnt to hold the Power and release it on command very quickly. She had struggled with learning to 'weave' the power for anything other than destruction. The Aes Sedai had been careful at first, constantly cautioning the not yet novice, that messing around with the Power before you knew what it could do was perilous.

"You could be burnt out" cautioned Turanna Sedai. "You must only channel when we are around to make sure nothing goes wrong. How long have you been channelling?"

"Since I was very young I think, maybe sixty years. I am sorry; I am not very sure Turanna Sedai."

The Aes Sedai goggled at Kea. "How is it that you are alive? Self trained 'wilder'…"

"Pardon Sedai, but I had a _trainer,_" Kea's accent became very heavy on the last word. It was not one she was used to using. "Damane are taught by sul'dam how to channel."

"Who?"

"The sul'dam wear the bracelet of the a'dam, we wear the collar. They tell us what to do and we do it!"

Turanna looked as if someone had cut off her breathing. Her face seemed about to go purple. "Child, that is not the way of a true teacher." She shook her head for a moment, visibly upset by what Kea had said. "I know this Dirk says he has helped you and you needed protecting, was it from these sul'dam?" Kea nodded. The Aes Sedai turned and met Dirk's eyes and gave a distinct show nod of the head.

"He was right to remove you from their care," she said the last word with a sharp bite of sarcasm. "And as I say it, you know it is true."

"How so?" asked Kea her face betraying a little confusion at the air of absolute certainty the Aes Sedai had used.

Shaking her head in wonderment Turanna explained. "Forgive me child, I forget that there is so much you do not know. Aes Sedai take Oaths when they are raised to full Aes Sedai. There are three of these and they are bound into us with the Power so they are oaths that we cannot betray. Not to make a weapon, not to speak a word that is untrue and not to use the power as a weapon except against Shadowspawn or in the last defence of our lives or that of our Warders."

Now it was Kea's eyes that went large. She had known these Aes Sedai were every different but she had not known how different. It seemed they were prisoners too just in a different way than she had been. Everything that had been forbidden her seemed to be bread and butter to the Aes Sedai and they were forbidden to do what she could, and did, do with ease.

"Now you feel a reasonable strength in the Power. A simple exercise is making a flame and having it float in front of you. Now this is how…" The Aes Sedai stopped, everyone in the camp stopped. Kea had immediately channelled upon being told to make a flame and had produced a prodigious fireball. With a thought she hurled it into a tree causing it to explode rather than burn. Warders and Aes Sedai both dove for cover. Seconds later the Warders were up and armed and the Aes Sedai were channelling. A shield snapped in-between Kea and the Power and water appeared from the air to smother the gathering flames.

Dirk stood in front of her, both his empty hands facing outwards towards the angry Warders. "She didn't mean it as an attack she was following instructions. When she is told to make fire she does so. Her previous teachers would have wanted her to make it as big and destructive as possible. Just don't get her to do lightning, she is much better at that!"

At a word from the Aes Sedai the Warders backed down. A man walked towards them all from the trees. Weapons were put away but the men did not look convinced. Even the Aes Sedai despite their placatory gestures looked a little shaken to realise that Kea not only could kill with the power. She was trained and extremely good at killing with it.

"Take it off," said Kea after a few moments. "He has explained; why are you still barring me from the source?"

The Aes Sedai did not answer and the Warders returned their hands to their now sheathed and holstered weapons. The tension mounted. Then Saffé shouted and ran forwards. Dirk moved to stand between him and Kea. There was no point trying to draw his weapon he could not do it fast enough and if they got into a fight with these people they were lost. He was ready to die; he definitely was going to soon anyway. But Saffé ran past him, dragging his axes out into a battle-ready poise. Dirk moved to stay between him and Kea, but he just kept on by him. He seemed to be running at nothing. The confusion was too much for Dirk. He knew there was always an answer you just sometimes couldn't see it even when it was right in front of you. He needed a different angle. Then it clicked, he is attacking that man who just walked out of the trees. Wait a moment… Dirk's brain suddenly caught up and his eyes snapped open and onto what Saffé was doing. He had hit out at a man. A man Dirk had seen but not really noticed. Even the Warder seemed to have difficulty concentrating on his quarry his axe blade had two clear misses. It didn't take fighting Saffé to know that that was just plain unlikely. The man whom Dirk still couldn't get a good look at slipped within the Warders guard as if he almost wasn't there. Then a knife that Dirk had not seen him carrying was suddenly within his chest. He gurgled blood in his mouth, but before he lost the will of life his legs gave a final surge and he shoved himself forward onto his attacker.

Kera screamed and lashed out with the Power. The whip of razor sharp air missed both the Warder and his assailant and loped a branch from an over hanging tree. Dirk ran at the attacker hoping to get to him before he managed to rise, but he was already up. So fluid and swift his eyes seemed dead, everything about him was just dead. Unstrapping his belt he pulled off his sheathed sword prepared to use it as a club. The man… no the creature, there was something wrong with this 'man' caught Dirk's eyes in his dead ones. It moved directly at him. Kea said something high pitched and loud, Dirk didn't hear it, and the creature was shoved back. It left the floor and then while it was still in the air a bolt of blue-white lightning struck it not once, but three times.

"What was that thing?" Dirk demanded turning towards the Aes Sedai. None of them answered him. Kera was crying as if she were a girl, not an Aes Sedai of the Green Ajah and Jerome was sat upon the floor staring at the corpse of his fellow Warder. His sword tip was in the ground and his mouth hung open but he appeared unable to speak. Turanna Sedai and her Warder Berek just stood silent. Berek eventually moved forward to inspect the body of the Warder they all knew was dead and then went further to try and find what was left of their attacker. No one had spoken since Dirk had asked his ringing question.

Turanna Sedai was not looking at the body or at the space where the strange attacker had last been seen. She was looking directly at Kea; her eyes were locked onto the girl with the intensity of a fanatic. Yet she said not a word.

Berek retuned and motioned for his Aes Sedai to follow him. She did and moments later called the others to see. Only Kea and Dirk went. The Aes Sedai and her Gaidin were still mourning.

What Berek was standing over was recognisable as a sort of man. Just remarkably unremarkable, his skin was a little pale and his eyes looked the same in death as they had in life… dead. Dirk was surprised he didn't feel something, pity, hate maybe. He just felt nothing, looking at the scarred and charred body.

"This is a Grey man. It is an agent of the Dark One, an assassin for him, if you will. It was not after Kera Sedai or I, that much is clear. And no," she shook her head even as Dirk opened his mouth, predicting his question, "It could not have happened upon us by accident. They are the best of assassins and are never seen until they strike and sometimes not even then. They are soulless you see, hard for us to notice, even with Power enhanced senses. Logically, if they were not after us they must have been after you Kea. It appears the enemy wants you dead, which makes me all the more determined to keep you alive." Kea looked at her pleased to hear what she had said but a little confused. "It makes sense dear girl. If the Dark One hates you, then those who hate him love you. That is logic." Turanna paused for a moment. "We best camp here for the night, we have avoided the peril and I do not know how able bodied our companions will be for some time. We will give them one night and then we will go, all of us. We must reach the White Tower, this is getting serious."

Much later that night Kea quietly approached the quiet form of Kera Sedai. "Pardon me Aes Sedai," she asked quietly, humbly. The lady looked up her eyes tear stained and her ageless face ragged with grief.

"What is it child?" she asked straining, but not succeeding, to mask the hoarse tone of her grief ridden throat.

"I wanted desperately to ask you something. But I was afraid because it is about something that will make you sad. I do not want to cause pain anymore. I have decided I am sick of it and if that is all I can do with the Power then I will give it up, even if it kills me. But I must know, or at least I must ask." She took a deep breath and finished her voice barely above a whisper, "May I?"

"Of course child," The Aes Sedai's voice was so low Kea had to lean forward to hear her. "This is not the first time and it is natural that you are curious."

"Then you already know?" Kea half stated and half asked her voice exposing her shock and surprise.

"Of course I know. It is a common thing with all novices who will not obviously choose the Red. Warders are intriguing but like their weapons they have two very sharp edges."

"Can you tell me about Warders? Why does it hurt you so much to lose one? And if it does why do you have them? Why not just have soldiers? If you even need protecting. You have the Power after all."

"Ah child there is so much you do not understand," replied Kera and her face finally managed to twist itself into a forced smile. "I am Green Ajah. I stand ready for the battle to come. We love men because we know they are born to battle. Warders, those we choose as Warders are the best of those men. They are the truest and most trustworthy men in the world. You could confide your deepest secrets to your Warder and never fear he would reveal them. No not to his own flesh. He is Gaidin, Brother to Battle, trained with all weapons and a master of them. By my oaths on the Oath Rod I cannot use the Power as a weapon until I know that I fight Shadowspawn or am in fear of my life. It is good it is so; otherwise Aes Sedai would be tempted to rule through might alone. But I am not always ready." Here her voice became bitter.

"As you have just seen, I did not see the killer. I did not know if my life or Saffé's was in danger, until her was dead. I was helpless. That is why we have Warders. They are our confidents, bodyguards, our servants, our messengers even our eyes and ears. Sometimes, just sometimes they can grow to become our best and most dear friends and even more. When an Aes Sedai bonds a Warder she makes a connection with him. She always knows where he is and he her. We can tell how the other is feeling and the gist of their moods even their thoughts. When a Green Aes Sedai and her Warders fight as one it is as if we are one entity with many parts. It is truly a sight to behold and one to make the Dark One tremble. We and our Warders will be at Tarmon Gai'don and there we will face him and defeat him!"

The Aes Sedai had forgotten her tears. Her voice carried fond memories of the past and impassioned visions of the future in it now. "Kea when you are made Aes Sedai, unless you choose the Red, which I cannot see you doing, you will have the chance to bond a Warder. That fact that you choose him is like the power of choosing your Ajah. The reason it means so much is that is wasn't forced on you, you chose it. The calling of Aes Sedai is the same; it will mean more to you if you choose it rather than have it forced on you. You must learn quickly Kea. You have been a trained wilder too long. You have too much strength and knowledge of the Power. The Tower will want you raised quickly to Accepted and even more quickly to Aes Sedai. They will want to get the Oath Rod in your hands the moment you walk in the door but they cannot. So you will be pushed. I like you Kea, you remind me of many of my Green sisters. I hope you can bear it. But trust me, it is all the same. Being an Aes Sedai, choosing a Warder, whatever, if it is worth doing, worth having, then it will hurt. But your question is not whether or not it will hurt to have a Warder, is it? No, your question is, is it worth it?" Raising herself onto her knees she took both of Kea's hands in hers and stared deeply into her eyes.

"Hear this Kea of Seanchan. Under the Light and by my hope of salvation and rebirth I swear to you; it is worth it!"


	12. Chp 12: A Life of Service

Editing note: I have changed the passages that referred to Dirk as Kye in chapters 10 and 11. I did this for several reasons. Reason one was to prevent the difficulty of have too many K names in the story. Reason two, was because Dirk would be unlikely to refer to himself instantaneously as Kye, as he has been wearing the name Dirk for years now. Lastly, and quite importantly, I included in chapter 10 a paragraph where Kye/Dirk asks Kea to keep calling him Dirk because he feels there may be some danger for him in finding his answers. After all there is so much they do not know as regards why he has lost his pervious memories and life. So Kye is still referred to, in his own mind and by Kea, as Dirk.

Note: The character Dirk's real name is Kye. So either appellation refers to him.

Disclaimer: All profits to RJ

_**Chapter 12: A Life of Service**_

The boat was not a fast one. With only one sail and a wide berth it seemed to roll through the water rather than glide. The _Elder Tub_ lived up to its name. Her Captain was jolly enough though and his fee had been light. The Aes Sedai it seemed had money and to spare, the only fear had been that no one would be taking shipments north. However, even Kera Sedai had managed a bittersweet smile on being told that, with the demand for food from the White Tower, all who could were shipping supplies to the Tower. That at least had kept questions few and the transport cheap. The 'rebels' who apparently were attacking the Aes Sedai in their stronghold were proving impotent against Tar Valon's strong natural and built defences.

Kea heard Dirk discussing it with the two remaining Warders. After they explained the manner and layout of Tar Valon, Dirk registered his amazement that anyone would even try to take it, never mind the fact that it was full of Aes Sedai to boot.

"It be a fool's errand!" he exclaimed.

"Indeed," replied Jerome. "But they are lead by Garth Bryne and so believe they can do anything. As for Aes Sedai, they have some of those themselves. That is why this is such a confused business. But enough talk of such things, we would not want to be overheard speaking of such."

That had ended the conversation but it left Kea anxious to see this city of channellers and its fabled White Tower. It was half excitement, but there was also some fear. Dirk was the only one she really trusted now. Her world had been destroyed. The sul'dam she had obeyed seemed more and more to be villainesses and enslavers. These new Aes Sedai had been ready to strike and even to kill them. Though they were helping them now, she was so unsure! The thing that kept worrying her was Dirk's actions and reactions. He had removed his memory but at the same time carefully planned himself a way back into that very life he had forgotten. He protected her and apparently that was the mandate of these Warders, so had he truly abandoned that life? The worst thing was she didn't know if he truly believed Tar Valon was safe and right. He hadn't told her if she could trust these people. He was taking her there, but at the same time he had not told these people that he had been a Warder called Kye. He hadn't told them about his box or his memory or anything. He talked of danger and had told her not to reveal these things. Now they were talking about rebel Aes Sedai. That sounded like marathe damane to Kea. That frightened her. She was no longer sure of where the daggers lay on her path.

There was only one way to be sure of what was right. Dirk would have to tell her because she trusted him. But he would not discuss it. He seemed afraid that the Aes Sedai or someone else would overhear them. That itself was confusing, how could he honour these Aes Sedai so highly and yet fear and be wary of them at the same time? Still there were other ways to get answers, if he wouldn't tell her his story.

That night she crept towards Dirk's sleeping form. By his side just under his hand lay his sheathed sword. Reaching out silently she touched the top of the pommel. Reaching into the metal, through the nine golden bees depicted in a diamond there, she began her weave.

The roots were buried deep within an object at its core. They hung there, exposed to any who knew where to look and how to read them. She only needed the Power to make them come alive so that they could be read. The Power was her eyes.

The sword had been around a long time she glided through its forging in the hottest of flames, to its quenching in icy waters. She breezed though the swords early duties. She saw faces swirl past, some old, some young, both those who were handsome and smiling and one of the ugliest men she had ever seen in her life. One man's face reminded her of a grolm she had seen mating. But when she arrived at Dirk picking up the blade she had no trouble recognising him, though he looked quite different.

His hair was lighter, almost blond and his cheeks still had a redness and plumpness that spoke of happy days and youth. Still as his hand gripped the sword, she felt his pride and the great strength in his hands. Though he was evidently a youth the sword felt right at home and his hands bore the calluses and scares of use, rather than youth.

The sword had been taken through many practises and drills. Then she saw it in a battle. She felt the sword as it struck down the enemies of its wielder. The resistance of their armour flesh and bones. She felt how sharp she was as she cut through them. How gifted her wielder was.

Kea shook herself. She was sinking too deeply into the weaves. She was NOT the sword. The sword was just an object and she was reading it that was all. To help she jerked forward in the story of the blade. She saw men dying on the sword and then she saw it sheathed and its owner kneeling. Two banners stood out before the sword. One of the banners carried the same nine bees as were on the sword, the other had three spotted cat-like creatures, one over the next. Between these two banners, and before the kneeling wielder, stood two shining black boots. Above them was a balding and yet kindly face. An old man from this side of the ocean, his beard already half white. His eyes seemed alert and his demeanour strong and yet he was evidently happy. On his head was a crown made of small points. Some faced up and others down but they continued all around the head, making a complete golden circlet. A sword then was moved and some kind of blessing given. The sword moved on.

It was raining and that old man she had just seen was there again. He was clear this time though. His whole body stood out rather than just boots, sword and face. He was shouting soundless commands and his body was clad in shinning steel with those bees forged on the breastplate. This was the clearest of all the images in the sword's roots. Around it were hundreds, maybe thousands of men. All of them were fighting and dying.

The older man moved back, he was in danger and he must be protected. Before the sword were seas of men dressed in white-cloaks. Banners with golden circles on white marched forward soundlessly as if to smother the sword and its wielder. She could see Dirk's face, a little older now, stronger. The sword fought well that day, it took many, many lives and preserved the life of the old man. The sword almost seemed to hum with pride. She could feel a word being etched into the steel. The word was important to the sword's history: Soremaine.

Here Kea stopped and took her hand off the sheathed weapon. She looked down at Dirk wondering if he was really as trust worthy as she had thought. How could he forget all these things, these battles he had been in? Did he not fight still with those skills he had earned on those fields of battle? Did he not still have this urge to use his sword to protect others? Had he truly forgotten or was he playing her for a fool? She shook herself physically and silently cursed herself for being a fool. If she doubted Dirk she doubted everything. He had proved his trustworthiness time and time again. He would have nothing to gain from putting this on as an act and much to lose; his whole life in fact.

She was about to leave but she could not. Curiosity beckoned and she could not resist. She remembered dimly having been a curious girl once. She certainly remembered some of her sul'dam handlers, complaining that it was her most grievous failing. But it had been beaten out of her many, many years ago. Now though, with this new freedom to do what she wanted she felt it return. Felt herself becoming reckless. If Dirk punished her then she would see better what he was like and what he felt he needed to hide. So carefully she tugged the sword away from him. She had not realised, she had held her breath for the attempt, until she was successful and released it in a single gasp. Dirk stirred but did not wake. Slowly she unsheathed the blade, marvelling that she could. Damane, could not touch weapons of any kind without immense pain from the a'dam. There it was, she had barley exposed a hand's breath when she saw the word. There were two other sets of words written above it, closer to the hilt and crossguard. The first was Maredo Night and the next word written was Swamp Campaign. Then there it was written clear for all to see; Soremaine.

She realised that she probably knew more about Dirk's life now than he did. Though the images meant very little to her, he didn't remember them at all. Now she had begun she could not stop. She moved to his bags. She felt a slight pang at her actions; after all she knew Dirk would not feel right about doing this to someone else. But she could not resist, she needed to know more about him. She thirsted to know him better and he was too close mouthed. A small voice spoke in his defence but she silenced it with her rediscovered curiosity and recklessness. There it was; she had not had to search far: his Warder's cloak. She touched it and was filled.

The cloak had been everywhere. She saw it atop mountains, looking over deserts, on boats going down fast flowing rivers and on masts of great ships in rolling seas. She saw it always with the same woman. The woman was crouched over but her face was not that of an old woman. She was difficult to put an age to, but her eyes carried experience, knowledge, more than anyone person should hold. She laughed in some of the experiences, with the cloak, but in most she seemed pained by hidden and secret knowledge. She seemed a little like an owl, with searching eyes but distinctly lonely and mournful. She was neither attractive nor charismatic in her looks or actions. Still there was an intensity to her that could not be denied. The roots of the cloak carried a powerful desire to see her safe, an even greater desire than that for the man, who had the shinny black boots and golden circlet about his head. It was almost fanatical in its devotion. She saw the cloak spying, coving Dirk who was older now. He looked more like how she knew him. Yet there was a difference. He too looked like he was carrying heavy secrets behind pained eyes. His mouth looked like it never smiled and his arms look fit, only for killing. He would not hold her or protect her with those arms! Surprising herself she almost came out of her weaving. Silently reprimanding herself she concentrated once more on the task at hand.

She saw something and like the old battle it carried the crystal clarity of something of true importance. It looked like a visor of some kind, without a helm to go with it. A curved band of metal apparently to fit around someone's head and cover their eyes. In the middle of the thin horizontal strip at the front that would be over the eyes was a line of blue. Someone wearing the visor would have their eyes totally covered and would have to look through this line of blue… it appeared to be a kind of stone, quartz maybe. It did not sparkle but when light hit it you could see it bouncing inside. It was a strange thing and it made her feel uncomfortable. Somehow though she knew the cloaked man and the hunched woman wanted it. They were searching for it. They knew where it was and they were going to use it. They were going to be victorious. She felt a rise in her own chest and almost pumped her fist in victory. Then, without any warning, desolation. The woman her hair with only the slightest touch of grey was now dead. It was obvious she was laid on the floor breathless and unmoving. But it was even clearer than that. The Power was gone from around her and though she showed no mark she had been killed. The cloak was sure.

The grief was overwhelming and Kea would not have been able to understand it but she did now. Now she had spoken with Kera Sedai. This was Dirk's Aes Sedai and she had died. Dirk had felt this: This feeling of ultimate abandonment and failure. She had been family, mistress, friend, job and religion to him. The cloak was linked to him as a Warder and reflected his Warder duties and feelings, his anger too.

He had wanted death then. Death and anger and more death. She could see another Aes Sedai now. This one younger and wearing a yellow fringed shawl. She saw her take Dirk and show him another circlet. It was a simple band of iron with a tiny sigil chiselled into it at one point. She felt fear and relief and then she saw the box and she knew the roots were running to an end.

Finally she released the flows and sagged back, opening her eyes. "Find out anything interesting Kea?" Dirk was squatting directly in front of her. His eyes only a hand's breadth from her own.


	13. Chp 13:Consequences and Punishment

Note: The character Dirk's real name is Kye. So either appellation refers to him.

Disclaimer: All profits to RJ

**Chapter 13: Consequences and Punishment**

"I…" she could not answer him. His eyes so clear and piercing were running her through. He waited, but not for long. The silence stretched and then seemed to implode on itself.

"I gave you my trust," he began slowly. Those words seemed to scorch her as if he had interwoven them with weaves of fire. She could not bear the closeness of his face to hers. His eyes were too sharp his voice carried too much hidden remorse… disappointment. She felt like she had upset her favourite sul'dam, she wanted to whine for his forgiveness but struggled to speak. So she cowered back away from him. He was going to punish her for her recklessness. He had set out rules, though he had not explained them, sul'dam did not always explain what they wanted either. That, however, in no way mitigated the punishment for infringing those rules. That was how damane learnt to be careful: Learnt to obey unspoken commands, learnt not to be curious or reckless. Those things were for real girls, not damane.

Still in a way she felt relief. This was an end to the charade. The pretence that she was in some odd way 'free' or not damane; marathe-damane she corrected herself. Now he would make it all clear. He would punish her and they would both know where they stood in the order of things. Knowing your place in the order was crucial, that was one of the first lessons you learned if you wanted to live in Seanchan.

"Of course it do be up to you, what you do with what you are given," Dirk continued. "I did give you unconditional trust and I did not ask you, not to Read my things. That is what you be doing?"

Kea could barely process what he was saying. His accent was never clear to her, but it was not that. He sounded like he was not going to punish her. It sounded like he was taking part of the blame himself. It was too confusing to bear. Sul'dam were never wrong, they never took the blame… but he was not a sul'dam. Through her hail storm of thoughts, she managed a numb nod.

"I wish you had asked me Kea," he sighed.

"Why?" she blurted out unexpectedly. He looked over at her his eyes sad and empty looking. His face remorseful, his demeanour upset.

"Because I thought you trusted me. If you had you would have asked me." Here he shrugged, "Of course I would have let you. I did let you with my key did I not? But like I did say, you are free. You be free to make choices, even choices which I do not be liking. But Kea, you have got to understand, and I do not be thinking you do, that choices have consequences."

Consequences, there was a word she understood. He was going to punish her. She had been punished a couple of times without the Power. It was not the same; it was cruder but not as all consuming. She wanted to show she was ready to accept the consequences, ready to put things right. She almost got his sword to give to him but realised that that action would only make things worse and she did not want to upset her new leash-holder. She saw a be-laying pin and picked it up; beside it was a thick stick which looked promising too. She picked them up and took them to Dirk. Then she knelt at his feet and faced the floor her eyes lowered as she had been taught to take her punishment. She was a good damane.

What fell on her back however was not painful. Instead it was his hands. With a surprisingly gentle touch, for hands that had laboured so roughly in their time, he took her and turned her to face him.

"Kea, I would never let anyone do that, no one."

She looked up at him and saw him smiling at her though his face was still sad and disappointed. "The consequences of you doing this without asking me, is that you have hurt my feelings. Try to understand that I wanted you to trust me and to treat me as if I was as important as you. I want you to treat me as if I was a real person to you, maybe even your friend. Friends do ask they do not just take. The consequence is that I am disappointed in you and in myself."

He released her arms and stood silently. "I haven't decided what to do about my memories. I lost them for a reason and I am afraid that if I get them back I may find out why I lost them." Without another word he turned from her and moved across the deck. He had not gone two strides when her cracked voice brought him to a halt.

"Dirk, please!"

He stopped; he could no longer ignore that voice, that plea. If indeed he had ever been able to. Turning he faced her and forcing his mouth to move again though he was gagging with the anguish of arguing with her. "Yes?"

She was at his feet and reached up to him pleading. "Please don't punish me like this Dirk?" she begged. "I cannot bear it! Hit me instead. I will be good again, I will. Punish me I don't want to choose, I don't want consequences! Punish me instead!"

He knelt quickly so their faces were once again close. He reached out to her and laid a hand on each of her shoulders. "Quietly now Kea," he warned. "People will hear us and that is a danger to us both." His voice sounded horse and hollow even to him.

"You are a free woman Kea. You make your own choices and I make mine. You do not choose for me and I do not be the person to choose for you. You do not deserve a punishment. You wanted to know and so you used what you had to find out. I just wished you had asked that is all."

She was crying now. Tears stained her lovely exotic face as she gazed like a wounded puppy into his face. "Can I make it better? Can I have it back? How do I get it back?"

"Get what back?" he asked.

"That word, your 'trust'. I want it back I want us to be… friends."

He smiled at her and felt his own heart lighten. A lesson had been learnt, by both of them, tonight.

"Trust do not be bought, stolen or wrested by force. It do be a gift and one we do earn. You have earned mine. Tonight you did shake that trust Kea." He paused here to brush a tear from her eye and to smile reassuringly at her. Locking his eyes into hers and willing her to hear the truth of what he was saying he clearly articulated each word. "But you do still have it." Then with another smile he left her and Kea sat speechless to consider the consequences of what he had told her. The boat continued on its journey blissfully unaware that it was sailing into a war zone.

The White Tower of Tar Valon was among the most majestic buildings ever built. It amazed Kea as she saw it spearing its way out of the island city. So awed was she of the city that she almost ignored the armies camped on the banks surrounding it. Some men shot arrows at the Elder Tub as it rolled past but the Aes Sedai aboard were having none of that. They had both been holding the power almost since rising and had erected shields of the Power around the boat. Kera Sedai openly sneered at their attackers.

"Fools! What do they hope to accomplish by laying siege to Tar Valon? They cannot win this way! As long as the chains remain in Tower control we control the river. If we have the river they cannot starve us out and an assault… ha! Suicide!"

It was unclear if this speech was for her remaining Warder, her Sister Aes Sedai, Dirk and Kea or the men of the boat. Possibly it was just for herself. Kea however nodded her head in agreement with the woman's assessment. She had been involved in several wars and using The Power in war. With the walls and river as defences unseating well armed defenders with One Power back up would be impossible without damane. These Aes Sedai would not use the Power to smash the walls and call lightning against the Tower or each other. These 'rebels' should be destroying each boat as it came. Kera explained that the boats were unlikely to come under One Power attack.

"Rebels they may be but they have taken the Oaths just as we have. They know if they sink these boats in the middle of the river there will be deaths. They cannot get around that!"

There they were again thought Kea, even as the Tub started to draw within Tar Valon itself, the Oaths the things that made you Aes Sedai. It seemed the Oaths would be the consequence of her training to become Aes Sedai. They were now her goal.


	14. Chp 14: A Novel Novice

Note: The character Dirk's real name is Kye. So either appellation refers to him.

Disclaimer: All profits to RJ

**Chapter 14: A Novel Novice**

Kea was in a wonderland. Not only was the White Tower magnificent, it seemed a wonder was around every corner in Tar Valon. From the moment Kera Sedai had taken her up from the docks she had seen wonder after wonder. And all this in a town supposedly under siege! Every building seemed like a palace. The architecture was fabulous the designs so intricate and inspiring. Some seemed almost alive built so as to resemble cliffs, water falls and other things of natural beauty. It remained her of the one time she had seen the Imperial Gardens. Those reserved for the Empress and her Gardeners. But there were no Gardeners here. She would have seen them, they always stood out. Surly damane must have been used to build this place. But she stopped herself, not damane, she thought firmly; Aes Sedai. She was going to be one. It would take a long time but she was going to learn to use The Power like one of them. To use it to heal, research, make peace and battle evil. She would be respected and have trust and… maybe…. a Warder; if he would have her.

She was following a woman who was an Aes Sedai. This woman was very important to Kea now she knew as she was Mistress of all the novices. Kea knew from Kera Sedai that she had to complete being a Novice so that she could become an Accepted. If she completed that successfully she would be an Aes Sedai. Once Aes Sedai she would be able to do everything. Have an 'Ajah' which was like a family all dedicated to the same mission and purpose. She would be able to use her Power as she wanted and when she saw fit. She was also strong in The Power she had been told. Now she knew that was true… she was stronger than the woman in front of her and that was for certain.

The Aes Sedai turned into a study and Kea followed. She would get lost in this White Tower; it had so many twists and turns. Her head had been so full of ideas as she had walked, that she had barely noticed her surroundings anyway. The study was a simple one and little in it drew Kea's attention. All Kea could see and all her attention was focused on, was the woman in front of her. The Aes Sedai sat down and faced her across a desk. Kea remained standing and this brought a smile to the other lady's lips. She wore a stern face and her image as a rigid disciplinarian was only heightened by the tight bun in which she wore her hair.

"Good, you understand respect and orders. Sometimes Wilders don't. I Child am Silviana Sedai."

Kea still did not speak; she had not been given permission to. This was going to be easy. Showing respect to women set over her was not difficult. Though it was a little strange to respect someone who could channel, she had had some practise with Kera Sedai. It was no longer as strange to accept that a woman who channelled could be respected, even loved.

Silviana nodded, evidently pleased with how restrained Kea was being. "I was told you were rescued from the Seanchan. Is that true?"

"I was a damane, yes, Aes Sedai."

"Would you feel able to tell us about your life with… your people?"

"Of course, Aes Sedai."

Silviana nodded her face thoughtful. "You are a very strange Wilder Kea. You are very controlled and disciplined. I hear from Kera Sedai that she has not caught you channelling even once without her permission."

Kea did not speak she had not been asked to. Again she saw in Silviana's eyes a kind of weighed approval. "You are a very interesting case. The most welcome Novice of all time with your strength and control, but there are complications to, aren't there. How old are you Child?"

Kea bowed her head. "I must beg your pardon Aes Sedai but all I can say is what I have told Dirk. I am eighty or ninety something. I apologise for not answering the question properly. Damane are not reminded of their age and I have forgotten."

Silviana nodded slowly. "No matter it is not your fault. Had you not been trained you would have channelled anyway and could have died. Your training has saved and prepared you for now, though this talk of leashing gives me a foul taste in my mouth, reminds me of Forkroot!"

Silviana paused, as if she were remembering an unpleasant memory or contemplating a particularly awful piece of filth.

"You are much older than any Novice, you have been trained before and you seem to be able to discipline yourself in matters of etiquette. There are still many things on Tower law and History you must learn: things about the Oaths, Stilling offences, who has been _stilled_ and so on. Being Aes Sedai is more than just channelling."

Kea simply stood there meeting Silviana's eyes, but not staring. She smiled pleasantly and kept her face strictly meek. The Mistress of the Novices finally motioned her to sit. She did so promptly and with a grateful smile so that Silviana would know she had wanted to sit and had stood only from respect not defiance. Silviana seemed to be considering something and finally she leant forwards and said quietly. "You are very strong. As strong as Moiraine used to be. You are stronger than me Kea. How does that make you feel?"

"It makes me feel small. If I am stronger than you, why is it I can do so little with The Power, and you so much? Aes Sedai, I know why. I have been taught only to hurt and kill like a sword for one man to hurt another. I am strong and sadly gifted at doing that. I know an Aes Sedai is more than that. You are beginning to show me how much. I am learning even as you speak to me. That is why I feel small, maybe even a little weak and foolish for being stronger."

"Well aren't you a novel Novice," replied Silviana. "I will enter your name in the book, but it will not be there long. Apply yourself to your studies and learn to use the Power like an Aes Sedai. Broaden your mind as the Ajahs show you the different facets of what you must know. I was going to go through how you should treat Aes Sedai and Accepted but it seems you already know intuitively. I cannot wait to get you into classes and help you learn Child. Kea smiled happily and gratefully.

"What do you want Kea?"

"To be an Aes Sedai," replied Kea at once as if she had been saving up the reply.

"Good, because we test you to make sure that that is exactly what you want; before we let you progress to Acceptance. But I meant what you want right now?"

Kea was aware that it was a test but she could not lie. She might get caught in it and if she wanted to be Aes Sedai she must learn to 'not speak a word that is untrue.'

"Truly Aes Sedai, I just want to fill myself with The Power, I have been holding off for so long. It feels like I might die if I don't touch it soon."

"Ah yes, a weakness, but not one in you alone Child. We almost all have it in some measure or another. _Saidar_ is addictive and compelling. You may channel."

Then the lights came on, without moving at all _saidar_ flooded into Kea and lit her up like a beacon for ships at sea. She did not channel but just held it inside of her for the joy of its warmth and the pleasure of being alive again. She held it for two straight minutes and then released it.

Looking back at Silviana Sedai she knew she had done right. She could not quite keep the regret out of her voice. "Thank you for teaching me that I must not hold it too long. I promise I will remember."

She was dismissed soon thereafter and went to her room which she shared in the Novice Quarters.

Dirk was swinging his sword with a practised ease. Jerome's came and met it. Spinning the sword in his hand he wove around Jerome's blade and thrust forward the Warder slipped backward and brought his own blade over to guard. Dirk immediately went into Heron Wading in the Rushes but Jerome countered this to with Dawn Rising. Back and forth they went neither trying to strike exposed skin but pitting their wits rather than their speed and brawn against each other. Dirk had enjoyed these weeks at the White Tower though he was no closer to knowing what he had to do next. He had been permitted to keep both his sword and cloak. He had entered the Warder training but had proved himself beyond it. Again and again he held fully trained Warders to a stalemate. He had even beaten some of them, but he acknowledged to himself as he caught Jerome's downward swing he had suffered his share of loses as well. His match and his thoughts however were interrupted by a cool and calm voice.

"Excuse me Gaidin." The voice was ice and carried clear authority. Dirk and Jerome stopped themselves mid-swing. In a moment they had pulled themselves to attention standing before the Aes Sedai who had addressed them. It was unusual for an Aes Sedai to come normally if the Gaidin was wanted she would send a Novice or Accepted with her message. It was Turanna Sedai, one of the two Aes Sedai who had brought him and Kea into the Tower three weeks ago, wearing her white fringed shawl and beside her was another of her white-shawled colleagues. The Ajahs kept to there own within the Tower that had been evident from the moment he had arrived.

"Seaine Sedai and I need to speak with Dirk so if you would please provide us undisturbed room."

Jerome nodded, "Honour to serve. As he moved from Dirk's side he held out his sword and they knocked the blades against each other. It was a sign of comradeship Dirk knew and also a way of wishing him look. With two Aes Sedai looking like they might be about to eat him Dirk felt in need of it.

As Jerome moved away Turanna spoke swiftly to her companion. "Make us private please Seaine." Seaine made a small movement with her hand and nodded. Apparently it had been done. Now Dirk was really worried.

"Will you sit with us Dirk?" asked Turanna.

He sat; it was not like he really had a choice.

"We wished to speak to you of Kea."

"How is she?" he asked immediately. He got the question in whenever he could with Aes Sedai. Often they did not answer but he knew they all recognised the name. Kea had somehow made herself well known as a Novice. "Is she causing a problem?"

Turanna's mouth was as thin as a wisp of hair. It seemed in true danger of ceasing to exist. "In fact the exact opposite. She is perfectly obedient, obeying all instructions without question. She is humble and ready to take her turn at any and all chores. She has been a solace and kindness to less able Novices and prevented a run-away. Recently a Novice joined us from the Rebels and even she has latched onto Kea. She has openly and frankly discussed her past with the Seanchan and helped us understand much better the threat and evil they represent. She also the most powerful novice we have enrolled with the exception of Elayne, Egwene and Nynaeve, who were beyond exceptional. I told her to her face, she is of a strength with the Amyrlin Seat and even that didn't go to her head. In short she is the most perfect Novice ever discovered. She is also clearly an advanced age but does not bear some of the crucial marks of wielding the Power."

"I am proud of her. She truly wishes to become an Aes Sedai. She is sorry for some things she has had to do with the Power in the past and sees this place as a chance for redemption. The Sisters fight for the Light and to serve everyone else that is why I knew this was the place for her."

The two Aes Sedai looked at him very closely. Seaine Sedai was the one to speak but she did not address Dirk. "I see what you mean Turanna. He is very like the Gaidin."

"Like…" Turanna snorted, "To all intents and purposes he is a Gaidin. They themselves assure me he is Tower trained. She did not use the name 'Hammar', like the Warders had used. Dirk knew why, he had asked about the name and been told that he, Hammar, had been a trainer for the Warders for many years, but when the rebels had split off he had chosen the other side and been killed in the fighting. The Warders did not like to discuss it. Like Aes Sedai Warders had their individual loyalties as well as they loyalty to The Tower.

"He has a cloak too and I want to know how? Those cloaks are not wide spread, there is only one place they are made and it is here." Turanna was now certainly speaking to him. "Have you been bonded by the Novice Kea?"

Dirk's shock showed on his face and it was that, more than his belated, "No," that convinced Turanna. "I thought not. But you have been touched with the Power that much is certain. Will you give us answers?"

"Have you asked Kea?" Dirk returned shrewdly.

Seaine laughed. "Truly a Gaidin. Yes we have but she will not speak of you. She says you have trusted her and that she will not do, though we put her out of the Tower."

"Ha," replied Turanna her face betraying how cross she was. She snapped her fingers, "Empty words," she knows she is Silviana's favourite; she has even come to the attention of the Amyrlin Seat. "We will never let her out of here until she has ring and shawl and she knows it."

"She is becoming Aes Sedai already then," noted Dirk aloud. He had not spoken loudly but he had not whispered. Both Aes Sedai looked at him and then at each other. "We are doing this for your own good Dirk. Tell us so that we can help you!"

He shrugged, "There do no be much to tell. I know the cloak and my sword with the sign of Illian on are mine. I know I used to have another name and maybe I was a Warder. But I never asked Kea to tell me more."

Both the Aes Sedai's head whipped around. "Kea to tell you; Kea to tell you! How would she know anything? Can she Foretell?"

"She do Read the Roots and she did so on my cloak at least. I woke up and did see her doing it."

"You mean this supposed Talent of seeing the history of an object?"

Dirk nodded.

"You mean to say," continued Turanna Sedai. "That she knows all you did?"

"Something like that," replied Dirk. "She sees all that happens around the object and what was important to it."

"Objects don't feel," explained Seaine Sedai automatically. "That is what makes them objects, their inability to live, think or feel."

Dirk shrugged again. "Say what you will, it do work. But I would like to have her tell me before you and I must say I don't think she will tell you unless I ask her to."


	15. Chp 15: Guess who I met today?

Note: The character Dirk's real name is Kye. So either appellation refers to him.

Disclaimer: All profits to RJ

**Chapter 15: Guess who I met?**

It had been several days since he had spoken with Seaine Sedai and Turanna Sedai at the Warder training grounds. Something had happened the night after that had disrupted everything. Dirk wasn't sure what it was and he had not pressed questions on anyone. He was all too happy to be ignored as he tried to understand his own dilemmas. But he had waited long enough, he did not want Kea to become Kea Sedai and start telling the Aes Sedai everything about him until she told him. She would tell him otherwise she would not have acted as she had. She was proving to him that she was trustworthy.

He began to make his way over towards the Novice classes. He could usually catch the eye of one as the passed and they all knew he was 'involved' somehow with the Novice that had the outlandish accent and perfect manners. She would know and come to him. They had done it before but had little to talk about on those occasions. The White Tower had segregated them. They had so little in common now they no longer travelled, ate, slept and fought together. It was a strange feeling. They had become in a strange way very close and in a very short space of time. Bonded, by a care and trust they both shared. A bond that had been forged by life and death situations they had come through together. Now the apathy of the White Tower with its rigidity and careless magnificence was stifling that bond and they were becoming mere acquaintances once more. Dirk didn't like it but till now, he had not realised how to stop it.

As he stood waiting at an open arch admiring the artwork of a fresco carved into the opposing stonework a man surrounded by three Aes Sedai emerged and walked past him. The man was no Warder. These Aes Sedai walked around him, not he by them. He carried himself with an air of dignity, affronted dignity, but still dignity. Without conscious thought Dirk swept his cloak back and dropped lightly onto one knee and touched the pommel of his sword. Then as if completing one graceful movement he rose again.

The man had stopped dead in his tracks. He was wearing used but well polished black boots. Into these were tucked fine leggings with golden trim. His long coat was fine and fastened smartly though the day was warm. The collar of the coat was distinctively high and the face it framed was one Dirk thought that would be hard to forget. It was a kindly face, though right now it was stretched in surprise.

"Well, that do be some sight for my eyes, a Companion!" the older man exclaimed.

"My Lord?" Dirk returned, not really knowing why he had done the bowing and knealing motion. It had just seemed… right. Often, you learnt most by just staying quiet and so he said no more. He was not disappointed.

"Mattin Stepaneos, this man is a Warder in training… hardly a companion for you, besides which you have companions enough!" The Aes Sedai wearing her red –fringed shawl like a shield glared at Dirk as if he was causing her a real grievance.

"Foo… you do not understand Cariandre. You Aes Sedai are careful not to place me withone it seems from my home in Illian."

"I am Dirk Steadysteel, my lord. I think I lived in Illian once," Dirk cut in. Once again he chose to quickly return to silence.

"I am the lawful king of Illian, my boy. Well no boy for you do be a man. Cariandre look here," Mattin Stepaneos beckoned Dirk forward. "I will give you a little education."

Dirk obeyed the man without really thinking of what he was being asked to do. He was an Illianer and this man, (for the Aes Sedai had not gainsaid his claim) was his king!

"The Illianer Companions are our best troops. Here on the pommel of this Warder-in-training's sword the Nine Bees of Illian. He is a Compaion or at least he has the sword of one."

"I might have been," agreed Dirk warily. Mattin Stepaneos looked at him shrewdly over his clean cut lip and white beard. The King of Illian was no fool; he seemed to see that Dirk was speaking in a kind of code. That meant Dirk did not want the Aes Sedai to know something. This meant that his evasive answers were not due to him, Mattin but to the Red Ajah Aes Sedai around him. That he could understand, and Dirk saw that understanding dawn there.

"Well did you ever have cause to be writing on your sword?" he asked.

"I did," replied Dirk and he drew it out of its scabbard halfway.

The king of Illian looked over and drifted over the first two names nodding as if he recognised them but he paused on the last word etched into the fine steel. "Soremaine" he whispered his voice almost reverential.

"Do you know my man, that Pedron Nial is dead? I was sorry to hear it but it is so. I am grateful to have outlived him."

Then the old man stepped forward and Dirk realised that he was stockier and broader than he himself. If he suddenly charged him, in these close quarters, Dirk would struggle to defend himself unarmed. He laid his right hand on Dirk's right shoulder. "May you be sheltered in the hand of the Creator, Dirk Steadysteel. May the Light watch over you and keep you, as it did at Soremaine."

Then he had left without a further word. The Aes Sedai, called Cariandre, had her mouth open probably to demand the conversation end or that he explain himself but was left looking foolish and slow. When the little group finally had their backs to him, Dirk knelt. "May the Creator shelter you in his hand your majesty King Mattin Stepaneos of Illian, King under the Light; just as he did us at Soremaine."

"What?" asked Kea.

Dirk span around, he had been certain no one was around. Trying to quickly recover himself, he flashed her, what he hoped was a winning smile. "You will never guess who I just met!"

"Mattin Stepaneos, whoever he is!" she replied impishly.

"Good guess!" he replied with a laugh. "You do know I be from Illian? He saw my sword and he do think I be an Illianer Companion, one of the elite soldiers in the army. We do be the ones who do protect the King in battle."

"We? Sounds like he is not the only one who thinks so," remarked Kea. Her voice retained its playful air and Dirk relaxed pleased that they still seemed to be friends. He had hoped for this.

"I do think so. I did not recognise him and yet I bowed and knelt to him. When he read the word Soremaine on my sword it meant something to me. I did not recognise his name or his face. I don't know what Illian looks like or what the Nine Bees stand for but somehow… somehow I know that I care about those things."

"You do," Kea agreed quietly.

Dirk's eyes snapped up. "You saw?"

"When I read your sword I saw a man, I think this same man you have spoken to today. You fought for him and by his side. You killed people for this Illian."

"Like you killed for the Seanchan?" shot Dirk his tone defensive

"Damane just kill. You could say for the Empress, or The Blood, or our sul'dam, but mostly we just kill on command. We do not the bless people who own and command us. We are weapons, not companions."

"You are not one," Dirk reminded her. "Not anymore."

"No," she agreed but her smile was gone and her tone was leaden and quiet.

"We not be here to argue, tell me about your day? Have the Aes Sedai questioned you about Reading the Roots? They did ask me about it. I do not think they thought much of it but they do now."

"No not really. But, Guess who I met today?" her smile flew back into place and her eyes lit with excitement.

"Who?" prompted Dirk. He had no idea but he wouldn't have guessed anyway she obviously wanted to reveal her surprise.

"Egwene al'Vere. She…" she paused and glanced around so as to ensure they were not being overheard. "She is the rebel Amyrlin Seat. They captured her, a couple of days ago. She turned the harbour chain into _Cuendillar_, heartstone, and she got caught doing it."

"Only fools risk their general in the front line!" remarked Dirk shaking his head.

"Maybe she was the only one strong enough to do it. Don't you know what _Cuendillar _is? No, of course you don't, I didn't till I was taught in a lesson here. It's a kind of stone that absorbs any force used on it. You hit it and instead of breaking it gets stronger. Even the Power strengthens it!"

"She blocked the harbour?" Dirk asked aghast?

"One side is completely blocked I heard," confided Kea her voice lowered. "The other they didn't manage to finish."

"The other? They did both?"

"Yes, the other Aes Sedai is imprisoned in the open cells, even I know because lots of the Sisters are going to speak to her every night. But Egwene was not a full Aes Sedai when she left the Tower and so they knocked her right back to Novice as punishment. But that's not why I was so excited to tell you."

"Why were you so excited then?"

"Because of what she is like! Oh she is amazing! She does not accept that she is a Novice she still considers herself the Amyrlin Seat, imprisoned maybe but not reduced. She does not cast her eyes down to anyone! So of course she is upsetting everything in the Tower and they send her for punishment and she accepts it and continues. I never saw anyone do that for long but it has been days now and she is still doing it!"

"What does she do?" asked Dirk interested now despite himself.

"Well she won't curtsy and be all respectful to the right people. She will not obey immediately when asked to do things by Accepted and Sisters. She…" Kea openly laughed for the first time. "She shows off!"

"Shows off?"

"Yes, well they want her to be a Novice and so they put her in Accepted classes with us. In one they were teaching us to embrace the Source by opening ourselves like a flower bud. We all did and Egwene suddenly pulled and pulled and then she went from almost nothing to a blaze."

"She set alight?"

"No, she filled with the Power," explained Kea. "Amazing she is stronger than me and I am much stronger than the rest of these Novices, except a new one. Her name is Nicola I think, she seems strong, but she is still very young and will get stronger. Anyway Egwene put on a light display like Sky Lights in another class and now she gets only Sister-taught lessons. The Novices have not been separated from her though and they go to her for advice and kindness at night. It is amazing Dirk. She is the most inspiring woman I have ever met. She must know more about the Power than any ten of my other teachers."

"Other teachers? She do be one of your teachers now? I did think…" cut in Dirk his tone betraying his confusion.

"Not a teacher who stands at the front and lectures maybe. It is what she does and says. How she lives, that is the lesson. I was going to go and ask her about becoming an Accepted but another Novice did first and she told them they should not ask. Some things you just have to experience she said and then shut up like a clam. Oh, but she knows everything, I could follow her! She has let slip a lot of things too. This Amyrlin Seat, Elaida, she unseated the one before her and had her Stilled! Cut off from the source! She has made some huge mistakes too and now the Tower, this place is all divided. All these Ajahs seem to fear and hate each other. They say the Accepted are being rigorously courted to join each Ajah. Every single Ajah has had a Sister come and talk to me about why theirs would be best for me."

"You must be careful Kea. If they understand that you support this woman so strongly they will be extremely displeased. You could be hurt!"

"Or worse…"

"Meaning?"

"Killed! You said these Aes Sedai don't do that but I know better thanks to the Mother."

"Who?"

"Oh, Egwene of course. That's what we call her now. But don't tell, well of course you know not to do that. Anyway what is important is that there is another Ajah, not of the seven original ones. The Black Ajah. They follow the Dark One and they do not keep the Oaths, they lie and kill, using the Power!"

"You can do that," said Dirk trying to be reasonable. He got a shock as Kea's face turned white with anger and she railed at him.

"So that is what you think of me? A darkfriend, a shadowrunner?"

"No! No!" spluttered Dirk defensively. "I am only saying the ability isn't evil, just they way you can use it."

"These women use it! Not like I did under command but at will. They are evil and they have forsworn their oaths, another evil. They are in the Tower, I think the Mother intends to find them and send them to their own Tower of the Ravens." Kea's eyes seemed to glaze over as she thought of somewhere far away.

Dirk did not like where the conversation was going. Kea was going to get herself in big trouble, he had brought her here to keep her safe. For now he would have to settle for distracting her.

"Kea what did you see when you Read the Roots of my cloak?"

She turned and the implications of their previous converse seemed wiped away as if they had never been.

"I am glad you ask. You were a Warder and for many years I think. Your Aes Sedai was old to look at, with a bent back. You protected her like your cloak protects you. At the end I saw a round circle of metal. When you took off your cloak it was to put that on your head. It was no crown. A woman in a Yellow-fringed shawl put it on your head."

"What colour shawl did my Aes Sedai wear?" he asked. He could not resist, he had promised himself he would not ask many questions but he could not resist.

"I almost never saw her in one; the couple of times I did, the trim was brown."

With an effort he restrained his questions. He had a haunted feeling that he must not find out too much. "Maybe these Yellows could help me get my mind back. They are supposed to be healers; maybe the one you saw is still around."

She nodded, "Maybe,"

"Thank you Kea. You best go, before you be told off for wasting precious learning and scrubbing time shooting the wind with me."

She laughed and thanked him for wasting her time and then she skipped off happier than he had ever seen her. Hard to imagine that she was older than him and had suffered so much, killed so many and was so powerful. She seemed so carefree and he did not want to spoil that. What did his old life and memories matter? She had enough to worry about with this odd Novice/Amyrlin and now rumours of a Black Ajah!

"My memories do be nothing to such things as those," he assured himself. Slowly he made his way back to his quarters, hardly reassured about his stay in the White Tower.


	16. Chp 16: To be Accepted

This is a very long chapter but trust me it had to be. I hope you enjoy it and forgive me for lack of detail in areas; I had a lot to get through.

Note: The character Dirk's real name is Kye. So either appellation refers to him.

Disclaimer: All profits to RJ

**Chapter 16: To be Accepted**

It was eerie, to be woken almost in the middle of the night. It was even more unnerving when the person who awoke you was Silviana, The Mistress of the Novices. The moment she awoke Kea knew it was serious. The Mistress wore her hair tight around her head, almost like a crown and her shawl was in full view the red-fringe on it clearly on display. Indeed today the Mistress of the Novices wore a dress of complete red as if wishing to emphasis her Ajah.

She had been told to dress and follow. She had complied immediately and in absolute silence. She was good at following orders. She was proud that she hadn't immediately grasped _saidar_ upon being woken. It would have been an unforgivable slip.

The duo had made their way, still without explanation down the tower. Soon they passed beyond the lowest level and were in the bowels of the Tower. For the first time Kea realised that the Tower probably extended as much beneath the ground as above it. For some foolish (She now admitted to her self) reason she had assumed it would have been more trouble to burrow out the earth than to build above it. She had not reckoned on building with the Power it seemed.

The Mistress of the Novices kept glancing at her, as if expecting her to do something. She guessed it was questions that were expected but saw no reason to open her mouth when not directed to. That way led to penances and she felt no inclination to bend rules that never needed bending. She could be as patient as any Aes Sedai and intended to prove it.

As the time dragged on and they descended, lower and lower, through the bedrock foundations of the ancient Tower, the silence seemed to build in volume. Eventually Silviana Sedai spoke to her.

"This is a time that waits on no one. The Wheel weaves as it wills. I am taking you towards you test to become an Accepted. You know too much of the Power already for you to be comfortable at the level of Novice."

Kea did not speak, even to disclaim. "You will progress much better as an Accepted, free to choose your studies and more often studying with full Aes Sedai rather than Accepted. One of the most important lessons of being a Novice, that of humility and obedience, you seem to have learnt almost at will. Those lessons will serve you well as an Accepted and it is why I have pushed for your advancement. I hope I have not chosen wrong."

Kea still did not reply, but came seamlessly to a halt behind the red clothed woman. Silviana opened the door beside which she stood leading Kea into a small domed room. In the very centre of the room was a silver circle. Springing out of it were three archways side by side. They seemed seamlessly connected to the archway itself as if the whole thing were of a piece. Beside it were three women, all wearing fringed shawls, all sitting at the points where the arches touched the silver ring. One wore grey, another brown and the last white. They ignored her and seemed intent on the silvery apparatus before them. Beside the strange construction was a table that had upon it three ornate silver cups with handles on each side. The chalices were filled with a liquid she could not see until see approached. She felt oddly relieved to see that they were filled with water. Behind the table was a fourth Aes Sedai, one with a yellow-fringed shawl. Kea gave a start as she met her eyes. This was the woman, the one with the circlet who had been part of the past of Dirk's cloak. She decided instantly that she disliked the woman but knew in the same instant that she had no justification for her dislike. The Aes Sedai seemed stern but made a visible effort to smile at Kea.

"This is Revoir Sedai, Kea. She and these others will take you onwards through this test for Acceptance," explained Silviana. Kea immediately bobbed a curtsey.

"You have been told some things about the test for Accepted, I know. I made sure you were given the relevant texts. Did you study them properly?"

"Yes Aes Sedai," Kea replied promptly.

As she so often did, she left Silviana as if expecting more. The Mistress of the Novices gave a shake of her head and a bit of a smile. "Kea those you must have noted are incomplete, as much of the test is to do with confronting your own fear. Fear of the unknown in a powerful test of courage and determination. But now you are here in this room you may ask questions about the test. Some of which we will likely be able to answer.

Kea curtseyed her thanks and spoke. "It is a test of how I deal with fear and that apparatus is involved?" she asked pointing at it.

"Yes it is a ter'angreal that must be channelled into in order to work. That is the purpose of these three sisters. In it you will confront your fears once for what was, once for what is and once for what will be. No one will ever ask you what you faced in there. I will tell you that it will sear your heart it did mine. But your heart is your own child. I will not ask you to lay it bare to me and nor will any other Aes Sedai. It will be enough for us if you can choose to return each time. That is the true test. Do you want to be Accepted and become an Aes Sedai?"

"Yes, more than anything else."

"It must indeed be more than anything else. If it is not you may not come out of this ter'angreal. Now I will tell you two things that are not told to any, until they stand where you stand. One," she held up her index finger, "once begun you must continue to the end. To stop at _any_ point would mean you being put out of the Tower. We would provide you with some money but you will never be Aes Sedai. Two" this time she did not pause for questions it seemed she had given up on Kea wanting to ask. "To seek, to strive, is to know danger, some women enter and do not return. We keep the ter'angreal charged for a long time but sometimes when we finally let it quiet there is no one there. If you are to survive you must be steadfast." As she said the word must her voice became stronger and her eyes more piercing. This is your final chance before the test is officially begun. You may refuse and you go back to being a Novice. You may refuse up to three times. On the third time however you will be put out of the Tower. Still you can refuse this time and only have one mark against you. Think carefully before you answer."

Kea knew her answer but she did as she had been asked and thought it over. She needed this freedom and mostly she needed the right to channel. Channelling was life and channelling free of the collar was heaven. Being as Aes Sedai meant she could channel for the rest of her life, and not kill but do more, help more… and maybe, maybe have a Warder."

"I am ready to be Accepted," she replied firmly. How true that was it was all she had ever wanted. Now it would be true.

Silviana took her to the table where Revoir Sedai stood. The Yellow sister spoke in clear formal tones. "Whom do you bring with you, Sister?"

"One who comes as a candidate for Acceptance, Sister," replied Silviana, her voice now strong with authority and formality. The words were clearly to be said exactly the same each time.

"Is she ready?"

"She is ready to leave behind what she was, and, passing through her fears, gain Acceptance."

"Does she know her fears?"

"She has never faced them, but now is willing."

"Then let her face what she fears."

Both the women turned to her. Kea knew what to do the text had been explicit enough. Nothing form before could go through this with her. Everything had to be left behind. She thought about when she had had to shed the a'dam in order to live. This was no different. She removed her simple white dress and folded it in two and handed it over to Silviana. It was all she had brought; she had known there would be no need of 'things' here. Silviana carefully placed the dress on the floor behind her.

She was guided to the first archway by The Mistress of the Novices and quietly, but clearly, Silviana spoke once more even as she motioned towards the open archway. "The first time, is for what was. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast." Kea walked into the arch and was submerged, surrounded and suffocated in the light.

She shook her head slightly, that was not like her. Sumeko Karede did not get light headed. She almost tugged at the leash, but she had not needed to do that in many years. She smiled to herself remembering that day so many years ago. She had been so excited taken in to be tested. You were always worried that you might fall at the first test but she had known she would not. The second had been easy they had put on the bracelet and she had felt the woman though it. Very soon she had been able to transmit pain through it. Taken as a sul'dam and trained she had advanced quickly. She had performed miracles with recalcitrant damane; she had brought great glory to her name and her family. She had been raised to the blood and now could paint and lacquer her two smallest finger nails. She looked down at them now in pride. She was walking and almost without thinking and certainly without tugging her damane was walking along tamely beside her. _The way out will come but once. Be steadfast._

This was to be a victorious day for her. She had been chosen to be a personal sul'dam to the Empress, trainer of her daughter. She was der'sul'dam and widely acknowledged the most gifted that had been in many years. She knew how to use pain and all damane feared and loved her. She just had a firm touch that all animals knew and responded too, no matter how wild. She was accepted she fit into society. Everywhere she went she was well known and admired. Her protégé had been chosen by the Empress as her heir and The Daughter of the Nine Moons would have a place for her upon her ascension. Never, had any one sul'dam been so powerful or as respected as she. No man would refuse her company, though she had never chosen one. She could have anything and yet all she desired was to collar marath'damane. They were the danger and anything done to them was acceptable to make them see that. _The way back will come but once. Be steadfast._

She knew something was wrong the moment she saw the throne room's doors. There were no Deathwatch guard there, which could not be. She suddenly forgot all protocol and with a mental flick urged her damane into a run to match her own. She smashed through the doors like a natural force unleashed her fears mounting. But even her wildest nightmares could not account for what lay within.

The Crystal Throne was awash with blood the Empress was on the floor certainly murdered. Around her body were numerous others, Deathwatch guard and regular soldiers alike, all dead. She immediately pulled on the a'dam with her mind and her extremely well trained damane was alive with power. The men and women still standing in the room flung themselves in all directions. Some foolishly attempted to charge her others simply ducked for cover.

Lightning flashed and Sumeko heard herself screaming commands and spiting out her anger. "Assassins, murder in the throne room of the Empress!"

The men charging were split asunder by razor sharp blades and blown apart by explosive force. Lightning struck bodies were flung around the room falling like skittles. Then arrows sprouted from Cheera and she fell lifeless. But Sumeko was not done. She began to shout even as she released the bracelet and took up a sword.

"Stop," came a loud and clear voice. "I command it!" A young man stepped out from behind a pillar. "Listen to me Sumeko Karede der'sul'dam of the first order to the Empress."

"Prince Ryuke," she breathed her mind awash with confusion.

"Listen to me der'sul'dam," repeated the Prince. "My mother is dead and soon if orders are followed Tuon will be also. I will be Emperor and you will need me."

"Traitor! Your screams will fill the Tower of Ravens!"

"Sumeko Karede, der'sul'dam you know the way the succession works it has always been thus and my mother," the words were tinged with a sarcastic respect, "knew that better than most."

"Why do you not kill me?" she asked realising that he surely could and would now she was incomplete before reinforcements arrived.

"You are no danger now but you could be a great asset I know a powerful secret and I intend to keep it from all but these my closest conspirators." 

An apt title for these traitors she thought. "You can use a'dam on some special sul'dam and my sister among them. Yes, now you see, no one will know it is her when her hair is changed her finger nails ripped out and her eyes properly lowered. Dressed in the grey of damane it will be better than having her dead. But she has been sul'dam and will need someone to train her who knows everything, every trick and obstacle. She will need you to break her in properly. Truly, you will be needed and held highest of all sul'dam. You will be the first sul'dam to know the truth, the first to be bound by that truth to me. You have no choice, follow me, betray your old apprentice, she is no more than marath'damane. I know because I had another sister who is no longer my sister if you understand."

Her head spun, the Power, the unclean filth the damane used, some of it was in her. Impossible, she had failed the test for damane, she knew she had. But had she? Somewhere something in her stirred and it felt good. She was powerless, if she revealed that she thought the Prince's blackmailing ridiculous and awful treachery she would be dead in moments and the Daughter of the Nine Moons exposed this lie would be allowed to get out and bind all sul'dam to this foolish traitor. But she could not make her mouth form the lie. She had not deliberately told a lie her entire life she could not be false to that now. But she could not fail it was up to her. Her urgency did it. She was being filled with something. It was the Power and it was so sweet, she began to understand why the damane truly loved to use it even to kill. She knew instinctively how to kill with it. She had spent her entire life directing the damane to do exactly that!

"Oh Prince Ryuke, I think you will find me not so powerless after all. Lightning blazed through her. She would slay all the traitors, reveal their plan, save Tuon and protect her as she was risen to Empress. Only then would she share the secret and teach Tuon to do as she was now doing; to channel this Power and become Empress in reality as well as name.

Then even as she saw her destiny laid out before her, even as the Power lay upon her ready for use, a silver archway appeared. _Be Steadfast._ She had to leave it: her high Power, her respect, acceptance among her own people, all it. She could not even save her protégé. Angrily she thrust her body forward and leapt through the archway cursing.

She was on the stone floor her memory flooding back into her. A test! This was her test! She had come through but how she hated it now she knew it was just a test! What was the point of being an Accepted when she could have been the first sul'dam in history to rise as high as the royal family? She would have been the first, the best… but then she stopped. Could some sul'dam really channel, or had that been part of the test? Was it real or illusion? Was it just a mistake that that day she had been tested and they had striped away her name and replaced it with Kea. That had been her name, Sumeko, she had almost forgotten. Was it just a mistake that she had been the dog instead of the master? Could she have found a place with her own people? Did she need to continue?

The Yellow sister raised one of the silver chalices over her head and poured it over her. "You are washed clean of what sin you may have done," she intoned "and of those done against you. You are washed clean of what crime you may have committed and of those committed against you. You come to us washed clean and pure, in heart and soul."

"You did well," said a kind voice. She looked up into Silviana's face and saw she was proud of her. A little like some of her sul'dam had been when they had looked at her like that. She tried to shift the image. There was an important difference here. These women cared that she came out alive so much they offered her training and chances to back out. This time she chose her freedom, her acceptance and her own glory. This was freedom to use the Power and to give that freedom to others.

"Is it real what happens in there? Is what I did real? Is what they told me true?" she asked.

Silviana stopped on her way to guiding the dripping Kea to the next archway. "No one can say," she replied carefully. Kea could see she had shocked Silviana Sedai by asking her several unprovoked questions. She saw some of the look of pride slip into worry and concern. That only heartened Kea though rather than discourage her. Silviana knew she had been rattled that showed that she knew Kea the person, not just Kea the 'thing' or Kea the channeller.

"It seems real; certainly the dangers within can kill you and hurt you. But some sisters and here Kea noticed she flexed her left hand. Suffer great injury inside but when they return they are without a mark on their bodies. I believe that it shows us shadows of what could have been and what could be. Not necessarily what would have happened and what would be. This is an object of extremes of that I am certain. Are you ready?"

Kea nodded and stepped forward. "The second if for what is. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast. She entered the archway, she knew she would not remember but at least this time she knew a little of what to expect she knew why she was going through this. Now she knew why you weren't allowed to quit once you started.

Her master needed her. She knew that, she needed to find him. She searched the woodland for him but she could not find his trail. She reached out scrambling over rocks and moss covered boulders. She had to get to him soon. He was never away long unless he had to be. He took care of her; he told her what to do. He loved her and only him. She had to find him.

She raced through the forest, green leaves swaying overhead making the light flicker and wave. It was almost as if here under the canopy was under a sea of green foliage. She felt like she was running through water, so slowly pushing against the resistance. She felt like she was drowning not being near him. She ran or swam onwards. Desperate for him like she was desperate for air, nothing else could compare to being near to him, to lying with him.

Then she burst out of the heavy woodland and onto the open fields beyond. He was standing there smiling laughing. She ran to him, almost unable to hold in her squeal of delight to be reunited with him. She was about to hurl herself into his arms when she noticed he was speaking with people and at the same time he noticed her. "Down girl!" he snapped sharply. His eyes went hard for a moment. If he looked at her that way she was to obey immediately, he was not playing. She crouched at his feet and arrayed herself as he liked so that she would appear pretty and helpless. Making sure that he not only knew he could do as he liked with her but that anyone who watched would know he could as well.

He muttered something and then flashed a hand signal at her. Disappointed. He was disappointed because she had taken too long to come at his call; she had not performed to his high standard. She was furious with herself; she had shamed her master in front of his friends. He might be angry with her; he might not take her to his bed or even let her eat near him. He might make her stay away from him which was worse than torture.

"Is the collar effective Dirk?" asked a man with drawling accents. She glanced up and received a light cuff round the ear. Her face blazed red, not with anger, but with shame. To force him to use physical force when he had used the hand signal already was shaming.

"The collar is as effective as it ever was but this is far more effective. I no longer wear any bracelet and I need no leash. My new way is far, far better." Her master was taking about her and he sounded pleased. Maybe he would just beat her and still let her please him. Maybe… if she was lucky.

"This new way? You really think it works?" asked the other man. Behind him were a line of girls, Kea had seen them when she had glanced up. Each and every one was leashed to a long wooden pole except two who were leashed to the others man's bracelets. He wore two bracelets, silver and identical in every way. She was afraid of them, they could hurt her.

"Love? Oh yes it works. She loves me and she will do anything for me. And I mean _anything_! Trust me you will enjoy having her, she is extremely well trained and has some great tricks she can perform." Master's voice was proud as he explained what a good girl she was. She would not let him down. She would pass this test._ The way back will come but once. Be steadfast._

"Yeah but can you transfer that love though, Dirk?" the man sounded doubtful. How dare he doubt her master!

"Watch" replied her master confidently. He made a click signal and she sprang to her feet.

"Kea," the master asked. "Do you love me?"

"Yes, yes!" she replied fervently. "More than anything!"

"What will you do for me?" he continued.

"Anything that can be done, or that my master can imagine."

"Very good Kea. You now need to go with this man. He is your master now. You have to obey him as you would me. If you do not Kea, it will prove to me that you cannot be a good girl and obey me like I have taught you. I have been good to you and loved you now you must do something for me and serve this man. You must use your special talents and do everything he asks. You will kill anyone he tells you to. If you don't he will think that I am not a good trainer of little girls. Will you do that for me?"

How could he ask? "Of course master!"

"You remember the hand signals and signs I taught you?" he asked the man his tone of voice changing in an instant. The man nodded.

"She responds well to tone of voice, a little beating but not too much or she starts to do things to get attention, she loves attention and will dote on you for it eventually. If you use my signs and whistles and slowly teach her your own she'll learn fast. She is well trained, I promise she will not disappoint."

"Looks like you really do deliver on your promises Dirk. I am glad I trusted you with this. Here is your money and the nine girls. None of them is trained like this Kea." She almost glowed with pride. "But they should fill your eyes and your bed as you need. I imagine you have got quite bored of one already trained girl. All of these still need their collars."

The man suddenly wrenched the two girls he was leashed to, hard. "Especially these two, they cause serious trouble, don't understand who they belong to."

Master only smiled and she saw with some confusion that it was a hungry smile. He took a large bag of gold from the man and then the two command bracelets. Finally he stepped over and thoroughly examined the seven girls attached to the pole. Kea bristled. He was her master he should not look at them and want them like that. Quite suddenly he turned and caught her eye. She cringed away, ashamed and afraid of what might happen if he knew her thoughts.

"Come girl," said the other man. She looked up at him. He was not nice to look at like master. He did not make her blood fire and the limbs weak. But she saw in his eyes a look she had seen in her masters and for the first time in many years she did not obey immediately. She was hurtling back through the air her lip was cut and bleeding and her head rang in pain.

How dare you! You little," and he swore at her. Her master swore at her. "Look at how you repay my love. If you love me do as I say and the first thing you are asked you don't! Lick his feet and apologise to him until he tells you to stop and then you go with him!"

"But master when will I see you again?" she dared to ask. Afraid to leave him, she would rather die.

"Never. Kea try to understand, I know you are not clever but try. I have sold you. I am going to have these girls and this money instead. This is your master now. Do as you are told and go with him. I have better things to do!"

Then he left whistling and forcing the new girls to follow him. Their training had begun and one day they would love him like she did… had. She began to cry as his voice faded into the distance. She felt an inexplicable rage. She had been tossed aside, after everything they had shared he had not cared. After all she had done for him, given to him. She had submitted to everything, trusted him not only with her body but her mind, even her soul and now he had sold it. And for what! A little pack of sluts!

"Come girl I need you to use your Power to kill my wife. If we can do it now before it gets too late I'll give you a try out later."

Her anger still bubbling flared and she did what she was trained to do. She killed. He died. Then her thoughts turned to Dirk. He was not her master, he had freed her from one leash but leashed her himself. But his leash could not be seen or fought or severed. What he had not understood it seemed was that the leash ran both ways he could not pass it like a sul'dam could. Standing up she prepared to run and find Dirk. Find him hurt him and kill him for ripping open her heart and then selling it on like a broken tool. Wrapping her fury around her she could barely think as she charged towards the woods. Then she saw it, a silvery archway. The humiliation of all the years she had been his loving pet screamed for vengeance. Her obsession and desire for him was excruciating. She had to force him to love her as she loved him. The Power could do that, she could do that, she knew, but the archway shone at her, mute but demanding. Obey. _The way back will come but once._ Be steadfast.

She knew that was important but she so wanted to hurt him: for hurting her, for using her and then tossing her aside, for reducing her to less than an animal. Be steadfast, she had to be steadfast, she had to obey. Could she really kill him anyway? She loved him. So tears of anger, humiliation and sorrow mingling on her face she hurled herself once more through the silver archway.

As she entered the room she was screaming. She had believed she was strong enough. Even after the first she had thought herself equal to this task but not anymore. She screamed and wailed. "He's not like that! He's not! I'm not! He wouldn't! I wouldn't kill him! I wouldn't!" The tears would not stop. "Do it to me! Only do it to me. Leave him out of it, you can't change him, leave him alone!"

She was being drenched in cursed water. She did not hear the words as the stupid Yellow-shawled sister repeated her empty litany. What did she care for that?

"You are washed clean of false pride. You are washed clean of false ambition. You come to us washed clean in heart and soul."

"Child, child, stop listen to me." Silviana was on her knees and Kea was weeping into her lap. "You must stop, I know it is awful but you must control yourself. Did you think it would be easy?"

"I thought it would only be about me. Why did it use him? I hate it! I hate it!" Kea sobbed. At least she was no longer screaming she thought.

"I know. I know you do, trust me, I know well. But if you wish to pass this test and become Accepted. If you wish to one day be Aes Sedai, more than anything," she stressed those last three words, "then you must stand up and enter once more. Now maybe you understand better than ever what it costs to be Aes Sedai. Understanding that cost will make it easier to understand why we act as we do sometimes, we are a misunderstood organisation. We are a sisterhood that are isolated by the very things which make us great. Sometimes we are even divided from within. That is why the test is so stringent; if you cannot get through your own fear, how can you protect others from theirs? Now stand child and finish this!"

Mainly because she had never failed to obey a direct order from an Aes Sedai she stood and presented herself before the final archway. No matter what after this it was done. She could cry and cry and forget like Dirk had forgotten. But she would be Aes Sedai, free, free from the awful vision she had just had no Aes Sedai would do as she had done in that archway. Then she remembered a damane in her kennels who had supposedly been Aes Sedai before her capture. But no, as Aes Sedai she could bond Dirk her Warder and then he would not, could not leave her or betray her love so cruelly! Yes once she was Aes Sedai her problems would be as nothing. Dirk would accept her, everyone would accept her and she would be one of them. One of the family. It had been so long since she had had a family. "I am ready," she managed in a shaking voice. At least it had not cracked. "I will be Aes Sedai."

"The Third time" intoned Silviana, "is for what will be. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast!" Afraid she might be too scared to go in if she waited Kea ran into the third archway. As she did her finger touched it and for a moment she thought she heard a man at such a distance she could almost not hear him saying "You Eriannith Morel have been sentenced to face your own fears, as judgement. If you are truly innocent as you claim and you wish that to be known more than anything you will return to us. If you do not return, you are guilty and not fit for this world. Face your fear, know yourself and give us the truth. We will see what was. The way will only be offered once. No one will go in your stead. When you see the archway leave fast or not at all." The man was dressed strangely and seemed to be an official, she realised she was reading the roots of the ter'angreal, which meant she was channelling something she was not supposed to be doing. Then the light consumed her once more.

She was astride a horse. He was proud in bearing and was looking up at her lovingly. But she knew, she remembered clearly that this was part of the test. She had not the other two times; her reading the roots or at least channelling had changed that. But as she sat astride Hilldancer and gazed at the rising sun she still felt its warmth and the freedom of the hills. _The way back will come but once._ Be steadfast.

Oh she would, this would be easy she would not be dragged into this dream this time. That was what they felt like dreams… or nightmares. They were not real, Dirk was not that way, nothing could touch her.

"Hurry Aes Sedai, when the Amyrlin calls she does not like to be kept waiting. A Two Rivers Temper, I believe they call it."

She turned and groaned aloud. He was there again, Dirk, but he was old at least older. He seemed to be sixty maybe even a few years more. His smile faded, "Kea," his voice took on an urgency bread of concern. She knew it was concern, because she could feel him inside her. Well of course she could, he was her Warder, he had always been her Warder. They sometimes joked between themselves and called him her fourth oath she had bonded him so soon after becoming Aes Sedai. It had taken her less than half an hour to find him and privacy. She had studied the Warder bond thoroughly whilst she had still been Accepted. Accepted… no this was the test for Accepted, this wasn't real! She had never jokingly called him her fourth oath, he had never…

Suddenly she remembered their life and adventures together and they had had many. Over the many years he had served and protected her they had done so much, fought so many. She unconsciously pinched the sleeve of her green dress. Green, like her Ajah, The Ajah of which she ran the internal eyes and ears. The Ajah from within which she had helped destroy the Black. But Egwene was not sure if the Black was destroyed. That was why she had called Dirk and her back to the Tower. She needed her Black Ajah hunters once more.

No she would not be sucked in! She looked around for the archway but was no where to be seen. "Kea!" Dirk shouted. She span in her saddle and glared at him. He smiled in return and let out a sigh. "Nice to know you are still alive!"

"I thought you always knew I was alive through the bond," she said a little coquettishly.

"I do know it better through my heart," he replied.

"Now shall we hurry before the Amyrlin Seat decides that the new punishment for lateness is washing pots?"

"Or a private penance with Nynaeve Sedai?" laughed Kea despite herself. She didn't even know a Nynaeve Sedai! What was she saying! But Dirk laughed back and set off down the hill moving easily on his huge black mare. His sword topped with the Nine Bees of Illian bounced up and down in its sheath. Its hilt was bound in brown thread. No not thread, her hair!

They rode towards the Tower and it felt like coming home. She looked forward to retuning to the Green Ajah rooms and sleeping on her own bed. She looked forward to Reading more ter'angreal, it had been too long since she had had one to study the roots of. Then there would be a list of Accepted who wanted to develop the Talent of Reading Roots and then there would be Histories to catalogue and update. They kept asking her to stay at the Tower until she finished her book. But she knew she would never finish it. After all the 'Roots of the Tower' went deep and so would the book of the same name. She had written down everything she could remember and each time she read the Tower more and more came pouring out like a torrent and some of it not for public consumption even among the Aes Sedai. Still the Brown Sisters were adamant. So much to do there and yet she and Dirk old as they were always managed to get sent out of the Tower to fight the Dark One and his agents across the land. That was what being Green meant after all.

As they neared the Tower and the light dimmed she saw Dirk looking up more and more. Not at her but at their destination. He too wanted to be home. Not to go to the Tower but to a little house in Tar Valon, their home. "I hope he still remembers me" he said finally. He spoke the words almost as an admission.

"Who?" asked Kea. "Anyone would remember you Dirk."

He glanced at her and she saw his eyes and knew he loved her. She felt it in her heart and soul and it almost made her shriek with joy. "Jace, of course, our son. He's so young and we leave for over a year. I am just worried he won't know who I am any more."

She was speechless, she knew they had a son and she could see his face. She could feel Dirk's love for the boy. His love of how much the boys obedient and giving spirit reminded him of his wife. The love he felt for both of them, his contentment and his fear for them. That was so real, that was how she imagined Dirk would be. But this was not real, it wasn't! She looked around searching for the archway once more. She had to leave this was getting to be too much.

They rode into Tar Valon night had fallen. Guardsmen tipped their hats to her deferentially. Some greeted Dirk with a laugh, others a salute. Two Warders who passed them approached calling out greetings till Dirk's silent face told them business was still at hand. In no time they were in the Tower and novices were cutting them a path to the Amyrlin's office to give their report. When they arrived in the corridor outside her door stood the two paintings side by side. One was a painting of a stern woman with a Red shawl around her shoulders standing in front of a crouching figure wearing the seven stripes stole of the Amyrlin Seat. A shadow covered the face of the Red Sister as if some fell evil outside of the picture was bearing down on them both. The Red sister looked old but resolute and stubborn. Underneath it was a title, 'My sacrifice is not for you but for the Light, the Tower must be united!'

The second painting was of a black heart and into it were plunged six daggers each a different colour and each with a name tag attached to the handle. It was to commemorate the fall of the Black Ajah during the Great Purge and those Aes Sedai who had delivered them to the Amyrlin Seat. The colours were white, red, brown, grey, yellow and green. The names she knew without reading them: Seaine, Pevara, Saerin, Yukiri, Doesine and of course, her own.

The uniting of the Tower and the cleansing of the Black Ajah were the two greatest achievements of Egwene al'Vere Amyrlin Seat of the Aes Sedai. In confidence Egwene had told her she hoped to add mother and survivor of Tar'mon Gai'don to those achievements and to add paintings to match.

As she entered the study, hell broke lose and the White Tower seemed plunged into the very Pit of Doom. Windows shattered and people began to scream. Men and women were running everywhere. When she got inside she saw Egwene, running towards her.

"Good to see you Kea Sedai. But unless you can explain what is bloody happening, it'll have to wait." Kea said nothing; it was one of her better traits and helped her keep her oath not to lie in tact.

Warders and guardsmen were rounding the corner. They were led by Gawyn, Egwene's own Warder. "Under attack!" he shouted. They landed on the roof. There are hundreds, maybe more. They have channellers!"

"How did they _land_ on the roof?" shouted Egwene as she past him and moved onward. He only shrugged and followed her. As they moved through the Tower scared sisters and men alike joined in the wake of the Amyrlin Seat. Her strength and anger seemed to unite them. "If this is Bloody Rand al'Thor, I'll ring his neck for him!" Egwene cursed under her breath.

Kea pretended she had not heard. She was good at that too; it was very useful with Dirk. Gawyn grinned and drew his sword. Dirk's sword had been drawn since the first smashing glass. She had felt him draw, felt him prepare to die defending her again. He had prepared for that many times, she had never given him the satisfaction. That this might not be real had gone from her mind. All she could think of was the immediate danger and the preciousness of her memories.

A Tower Guard commander rushed over to them but did not just join in Egwene's firebrand entourage. "Mother," he exclaimed. "General Bryne is dead. A… a greyman, mother. They have attacked from the roof, Seanchan. They have damane and we can't get enough men up there. They are destroying the city from on top of the roof!"

"You cannot get up there but I can!" snapped Egwene. Then she paused. "Suian Sedai?" The soldier bowed his head and Egwene let out a yell of anger. "You she shouted to a man, move!" He did and even as he hopped aside she wove and a doorway appeared in the space. It seemed to lead to the roof and through it they poured.

It was chaos. The roof was covered with Seanchan warriors and flying beasts. It seemed hundreds of damane and sul'dam were there as well. Egwene led the charge as the Aes Sedai attacked. Luckily the Seanchan left them in no doubt that their very lives were under threat and the Power of killing flowed both ways. But it quickly became apparent which side were better at using the Power to kill. Tower forces began to falter and no reinforcements came to support them. All they could do was kill the damane, but some of the Aes Sedai were collared and forced to fight against their own side. Worse their own side had to kill them. Dirk was crying as he slew his third captured Aes Sedai and her sul'dam. His sword was not as quick as it had been in his youth but his Warder bond allowed him to draw on her channelling extended life force when he needed it. There forces thinned out and then she saw the sight that she had feared. The Amyrlin was surrounded by too many and the very face that she was trying to kill a soldier with a knife evidenced that she had been cut off from the one power. How they managed that, without a circle, was anyone's guess. The sul'dam could not make a bigger link than two. But then Kea remembered the greyman. The forces of the shadow were here. She looked more carefully then and saw uncollared Aes Sedai killing their own and she knew she had failed. The Great Purge had not been as complete as they had arrogantly claimed; the Shadow still stained the Tower.

"Collar her!" shouted one woman.

"I will never be collared!" screamed Egwene. Suddenly Kea realised she was screaming too. Never, never again! It was worse than death to return to that slavery after tasting this freedom and love and power. Egwene hurled herself at a sul'dam and was suddenly immobile held with Air. Kea would not allow it. She severed that flow and threw lightning down around the Tower roof. They panicked and one of them must have believed Egwene had broken the shield because a moment later the greatest Amyrlin Seat of the Age was dead, a burnt husk, dead but uncollared. Kea began to weep and knew she would never stop.

Then too late she felt the collar slipped around her own neck. She screamed and tried to turn and attack the sul'dam who had collared her but as she had known it would the a'dam sent pain rippling through her body reducing her to futile sobs.

"No!" Dirk's scream hurt even more than her failed assault on her captor. He had seen he was going to kill himself trying to rescue her. She understood his old Aes Sedai now, oh how could she let him die?

"Dirk, Dirk. Beloved of my heart, hear me! Please, hear me, my love."

He had never known how to ignore her if she pled. She rarely did Aes Sedai could not lower themselves that way. But she knew this was the way to get him to agree to anything. That pleading note was her only chance.

He stopped his eyes were wild with hate anger and aggression. A dozen soldiers lay dead before him sundered at neck and torso. Limbs lay about him like a fell storm. He was no blade master and he was slower and weaker than he had once been but his fear for her drove him like a man gone mad. He looked into her eyes and she saw his tears. He hated her collar even more than she did. "I cannot let them do this to you!" he roared. But even through that she heard his pleading. He knew what she was going to do.

"I am old I cannot bear this Kea. I cannot bear it if they make you a slave again!"

"Too late for that" came a snarling voice.

Hating herself for failing him. Hating herself for commanding him where he did not want to go. Hating herself for betraying the man she loved. "Surrender to them my love. Dirk, please, for me. I love you. I can bear this but only if you are alive. If you were dead how could I? Think of the pain to me Dirk."_ The way back will come but once._ Be steadfast.

"I'll not be surrendering as your Warder," he said dully. He removed his cloak and unbelted his sheath, throwing all of it to the floor with his sword. "But I can as your husband. I surrender," he announced the deadness of his eyes like blades in her heart. She almost forgot to care that she herself was collared and a slave to the a'dam. It hurt too much. Then she saw it the archway. How could she reach it? Suddenly she knew what she had to do. It isn't real! It's not real!_ The way back will come but once._ Be steadfast.

"Dirk, save me!" she shouted. His eyes lit and he surged towards her. His blade was in his hand and in a moment it was whiling through the air. The sul'dam holding her leash died and she leapt towards Dirk. Even as swords entered his body he seized her collar and forced it open. He was bleeding dying. Still crying, she had not been able to stop since the Amyrlin's fall she pulled away from him and fled towards the archway. Surly they should have stopped her, a simple weave wound have sufficed but they didn't. Every single enemy seemed intent on killing her Warder, her husband, the love of her life, the light of her existence. Just before she made it to the archway she felt his light go out inside of her and she knew what Aes Sedai felt when their Warders died.

She tumbled out of the ter'angreal angry and overcome with grief and despair. How was it possible that all those serene women had come through this?

"I hate you all. I hate this test! How could I be made to go through that? I am not evil! It's not real!"

Silviana was already helping her to her feet. "There are no answers you need to give. You do not have to come through those archways unperturbed and all serenity. Your only answer is that you do come through them. It is answer enough for all of us, because we have done it and we know. Now stand and find Acceptance."

As she stood she saw the Amyrlin Seat and realised that she was the woman in the Red shawl that had stood in front of Egwene in the picture outside her door. Not for you but for the Light. Had it been real? Like a prophecy? Oh please no! Anything but that!

She knelt before the Amyrlin who poured the final chalice of cold clear water over her head. As she did some of her tears were washed away and finally with it over she was able to not replace them. "You are washed clean Kea of the Seanchan," (My how bitter it felt now to have had anything to do with her people. Even her blood and flesh must be evil!)

"You are washed clean of all ties that bind you to the world. You come to us washed clean, in heart and soul. You are Kea, Accepted of the White Tower. You are sealed to us, now."

The Amyrlin spoke clearly and with strength. Next to her were a line of six sisters one from each of the remaining six Ajahs within the Tower. As she passed each one she bobbed a curtsey as if she was wearing anything. She fixed their faces in her mind. They would remind her to be humble, they had seen her tumble weeping from that archway, they knew, others might guess, but they knew. She feared, and that was all there was to it. She was afraid and she was weak. But the oddest thing was as she curtseyed and met each sister's gaze she felt it. Surprised, but gratified, she left that now hated room. In their eyes she had found it. This is what it felt like to be accepted.


	17. Chp 17: A Healing Hand

Sorry it has taken so long I went on a brief holiday.

Note: The character Dirk's real name is Kye. So either appellation refers to him.

Disclaimer: All profits to RJ

**Chapter 17: A Healing Hand**

Dirk knew something was different even before he saw her. Those who knew him were acting differently. Many were hanging around him as if anticipating something. It had to do with Kea; after all he was nothing to these people.

Seeing her gave it away immediately. She was still wearing white but the coloured bands on the bottom of her dress shouted her change in station like a beacon. More than that though was her manner of walk, it was straighter more confident. Her whole bearing had become distinctly more Aes Sedai like. Dirk could think of no other way to describe it. She was moving her hands as well. More than she did normally as if to draw attention to them and the new ring on the longest finger of her hand. So she was accepted now.

He nodded to her as she neared him and he saw her tense as she became aware of his closeness. That was new, and unlike the new bearing of confidence, he didn't like it. Why would she be wary of him?

"Greetings Accepted," he said respectfully but with a smile.

Her eyes almost popped out of her head and her mouth screwed itself up in a delightful look of confusion. But true to her training she got herself back under control and gave him the slightest of curtseys.

"I am glad to see you Dirk," she said her voice sweet but underneath it lay a layer of tension.

Dirk glared around at the people watching around them. He growled at them and some wiser ones moved off, some stayed, their loss. He began to mentally note their names as Kea continued.

"I was tested last night. Now I should be free to study quicker and hopefully I will be able to become Aes Sedai soon."

He had not been paying much attention to her. He wanted others to leave. If he was forced to make them private by leaving it would brook questions, but wasn't making them leave going to do that too? What was Kea saying… a test? That rang a bell.

"Got the answers right, I see," he remarked lightly.

"I got the only one that mattered right," Kea responded and he heard the tense edge flare to life, like a fire, that had just received another load of fuel. So it was this 'test' that had changed things. He would need to talk to her, but not in front of these eaves droppers. While he was thinking of how to surreptitiously get them some privacy Kea went right on talking.

"I think I have found an Aes Sedai who can help you?"

That jerked him out of his little plans and put a stop to any thoughts of this ethereal testing. "What do you mean help me?"

"Well these Yellow Sisters are known for their abilities with healing. One of them came to me last night. I was a little upset and she was kind. She offered me healing but I didn't need any. She said she had only wanted to be sure. We got to talking about healing and she said she was very good at mending the mind. You know people whose minds have been damaged by a fall or by something horrific they have seen. I asked around afterwards and it seems she is the best. You know after I told you about what I saw when I read your cloak I told Seaine and Turanna Sedai and now lots of people know enough to be sure you used to be a Warder. They want you to know what you did because there has never been a case like yours before. This Revoir Sedai is meant to be an expert."

"That do be a lot to tell a man in one charge," remarked Dirk startled and trying not to show it. But in some ways he felt they shared one mind, it was difficult to hide how he was feeling from Kea.

"You said you might be interested in solving your memory problem. You know it was something to do with the Tower. We know your Aes Sedai was Brown, you wanted to find out about her. Maybe this Revoir Sedai truly can help us. I would like to have been the one to do something for you for once."

"You do something for me every day just by breathing," Dirk assured her and to his horror he heard a distinct softness enter his tone. Worse Kea blushed which removed any hope of her having not noted his tone.

Trying to recover his ground he attempted to explain. "Since that first time I have just always felt the need to keep you safe. That was why I fought that day and why I protected you, took off that collar and brought you here. I think it is because I used to be a Warder, I just have to keep Aes Sedai safe."

"I'm not…"

"You do be as good as!" he snapped cutting her off. Even as he realised he had stricken her silent he apologised. "I do be sorry. I will see your Revoir Sedai. It is true; I would like to know more. I do be thankful to you Kea for arranging it, truly." She seemed pleased but as she said her good byes and swept away as regal as a queen of Aes Sedai, he could still feel that tensing of her muscles. Something had changed, and not for the better.

"Greetings Revoir Sedai, I am Dirk Steadysteel, I believe you were expecting me."

"I was, come in Dirk."

As he stepped into the room Dirk could not keep the shock from his face. His Warder's cloak was there carefully arranged over the back of a chair. How had she laid her hands on it? He knew it was his by the small silver clasp that it carried at the neck. He said nothing however, he was not a fool.

The Aes Sedai was quite old; at least Dirk guessed that she was. Her face had the ageless quality of all Aes Sedai. She wore her shawl with its Yellow fringe, even here in her own rooms. Though he didn't know why that should have surprised him, it was not unusual for Sisters to wear their shawls in the Tower any more. Any more… what did he mean any more… he had never known it any other way… had he? Maybe he didn't need this, maybe his mind was unsealing itself, remembering naturally. Given the choice he felt that that would be better.

"Kea, the Accepted, tells me you do not remember being a Warder but that you think you were one." Her tones were professional and clipped, as if she were checking off points on a list. He could not help disliking it. She was very different from Kea. He wondered if his old Aes Sedai had been this way.

"I do not, but I do be thinking as she said."

"Why?"

"My cloak, my sword, Kea's readings," he explained. He felt wary, how much could he trust these Aes Sedai, Kea had been uneasy with him this morning, had they forced her into arranging this? Is that why she had been uncomfortable because she knew they wanted something from him? He shook his head, he was being extremely paranoid. Kea had trusted him; he needed to offer her the same cutesy after all she was trying to help him. He had asked for this, he had to help this woman and tell her what she needed to know. She was a Sister; she would not lead him wrong. After all she couldn't lie.

"What did Kea learn about you?"

"What she had already told you," he responded flatly. Even if it had been Kea he did not like the idea of these women all getting together where he could not hear and discussing him.

"She was unsurprisingly quite reticent with the details. After all she had just been tested and it takes time to get over that."

"Really?" he had not been able to stop himself blurting that out. A foolish mistake of a younger man he cursed himself inwardly. That was why Kea had been odd, the test had harmed or disturbed her it hadn't been him at all!

"You know your old name?"

"Yes, Kea heard it, it was Kye." He didn't know why he had chosen to lie and keep Paula out of this. He only knew he didn't want this woman to know everything. He could not shake his dislike of her; he could not bring himself to trust her, yet.

"Your Aes Sedai?"

"Only her Ajah and that she had a bent back, a stoop or a hunch, I do not be knowing."

"How long?" asked Revoir, each question was said in an authoritative and yet disinterested voice. She seemed to speak from along her nose talking down to him even as she seemed to look down at him. That was impossible as he was taller and yet she managed it effortlessly. He did not like the voice or the feeling, but she sounded totally assured and that had to be good.

"It's been something over four years since I remember anything."

"Aha! Really," these words were drawn out as if she were no longer wasting any thought on talk but was pondering furiously.

"Are you recovering at all? Any sign whatsoever?"

"Well… not really"

"What is not really Kye?" the question was snapped at him like a whip.

He had not been addressed by that name since Paula had done it.

"Well there do be times when places or people have felt familiar. When I did find my sword and cloak… I do not know it was as if I recognised them. I knew they were mine."

"Really?" Revoir Sedai's voice was now interested. Her eyes now met his, rather than looking at his body or the piece of parchment upon which she scribbled notes.

"Well I think I can begin," she announced. Dirk tensed not really knowing how to prepare or for what he was preparing.

The Aes Sedai moved towards him and reached out with both her hands, placing each on a different side of his temple. As the fingers touched him he felt a sudden freezing sensation go through him. It hurt! He bit down on his cry not wanting to distract the healer from whatever she was doing. She could have warned him though he thought to himself. But no sooner did the thought arrive than it was pushed aside and forgotten.

Memories of Jiro and finding Kea were racing through his head: memories of Caemlyn and opening the box. So many memories he could not keep track of them names and faces of people he didn't know raced through his mind. It didn't feel like healing, he felt like he was being run ragged. Still that just showed how little he really knew about the Power. Kea had started to have lessons in Healing and told him that, though it healed the body, it was uncomfortable, as the strength for it was drawn from the person healed. That must be what was happening to him now. She was helping his memory resurface, but pulling the strength from him. He wished he could see the weaves but as well wish he could see without light.

Then just as he was feeling this might not have been a good idea something spiked. He saw her; she stood slightly stooped over a high desk. Two guttering candles marked the desks corners. On it was laid a large book, written in some ancient tongue. He looked at it but did not try to read, that was not what he was here for. Reading was for Aes Sedai, he was here to protect, even here, even within the Tower. He saw the picture though and he knew what she was researching. It was the visor, always that strange visor, with the blue quartz over the eye slit.

"Dirk?"

"Yes? What is it Aes Sedai?" he replied picking himself up from the floor.

"I think that might be enough for one day" replied Revoir Sedai kindly. "You collapsed."

"I did?" Dirk shook his head as if to clear it and tried to remember all that had just occurred but his fall seemed to have shaken him, he could barely remember any of their conversation. Still some progress had been made.

"Thank you Aes Sedai" he said with a bow the lady in the yellow-fringed shawl. "I hope that you can heal my mind, given enough time. But even if you do not be able to, thank you for trying."

"My pleasure Gaidin," Revoir replied with a warm smile. Touching the hilt of his sword he turned and left. He felt relieved it was good to know a woman he trusted so completely was helping him heal. He did not think he had ever felt as safe as in her healing hands.


	18. Chp 18: A Harmful Hand

This is just a quick update to get me back on track.

Note: The character Dirk's real name is Kye. So either appellation refers to him.

Disclaimer: All profits to RJ

**Chapter 18: A Harmful Hand**

Kea knew something was different the moment he walked into her view. He seemed more boyish and carefree. He seemed less of a man to her. Mentally she shook herself this was foolish. She wondered what he had remembered since he had had several sessions with Revoir Sedai now. She was reputedly the best there was at healing damaged minds. Maybe that was what made Dirk suddenly look so innocent and carefree. 'Or maybe Kea, you are just imagining him as less because he is not how you knew him,' she scolded herself.

Fixing a smile on her face she moved closer to the once Warder as he went through his sword forms alone. He had a smile on his face which seemed oddly out of place with the grin he had fixed on his visage. It was just wrong somehow that a man should be smiling as he practised killing people. Then she remembered how she had smiled and preened for her sul'dam when she had done well. Her doing well had almost always been when she had gone another step to perfecting how to kill people. She had smiled as she had practised and succeeded in killing people. She felt sick. Dirk had saved her from that, shown her what channelling could really be about. She would choose Yellow and become a Healer like Revoir. The arches did not tell the future! They could not! She would not let that be so! Who said she had to choose Green just because in that illusion she had!

"Kea!" Dirk stopped in mid swing, smiling at her as if she were the sun itself. The sword was sheathed in a moment and he moved to her side. His Warder's cloak was neatly folded on the floor by where he had been practising. "It feels like an age since I have seen you!" he announced with a relived laugh. "You do work too hard now you are Accepted."

"I work too hard? It is you, who has not stopped for a moment. Always with Revoir Sedai I never have the chance to see you," she retorted.

"Nevir?" he repeated oddly. "Nevir?"

"No, not Nevir; never!" repeated Kea exasperated, being careful to express each syllable precisely. Was he making fun of her accent again!

"No, it's a name, a name I should know," he said quickly. "I must find Revoir Sedai. I must tell her!" His eyes lit up with excitement he moved swiftly to collect his things. Kea could almost not contain her groan of disappointment. She did not want him to go.

"Well I must only Revoir can help me recover my memories and find out whose Warder I am." Kea's eyes widened she had not realised that she had spoken her thought aloud, how embarrassing!

"You used to not be sure you wanted those memories back," cautioned Kea, even she could hear a petulant tone in her voice now. She did not like Revoir and she had barely seen Dirk and he had been so glad to see her. Or so she had thought? Now at a moments notice, the merest hint of something to do with her and he was off again. It was hateful and what was worse she knew she should be happy and encouraging him in this. Not hating Revoir and searching for reasons that he should not go. For the first time in her life she was learning to be selfish. It was not a good thing she decided.

"You convinced me I should. Remember, you read my Roots," Dirk riposted. He bent and picked up his shirt and Warder's cloak. "They accept me now Kea, like they Accept you. They are certain now I was Gaidin; they even call me Dirk Gaidin until someone discovers my real name."

"What do you mean?" Kea laughed incredulously her anger forgotten at the absurdity of what he was saying. "We know your name, it's Kye."

"What? I must tell Revoir, this will excite her, two names and one of them mine, imagine the progress she will make with that!"

But before he could move she seized his upper arm. "Dirk, don't you wonder how I knew your name? You're accepting my word very easily considering you don't remember."

"Do not remember what?"

"You already know this Dirk! You found out the same time I did! What else have you forgotten?" Kea demanded.

Dirk wrenched his arm from her grasp. "I have not forgotten anything!" he snapped. "Not since I forgot my whole life and it's that I am trying to recover if you will let me!"

He had not shouted at her before, not like that, never in anger. She wanted to reach out to him stop him, with the Power if she had too. She wanted to blame someone else; this could not be their fault they always got along. He was her only friend, her first ever friend. She would not lose him!

"What do you do with Revoir? I haven't even seen you since you started these sessions? You say I have been busy, but I have been trying to see you for days and _you_ are always busy with her!" She tried but she could even here the jealousy herself. She was not thinking rationally, she didn't care.

"What we do is between us. She helps me recover my memory that is all!"

"Does she use the circlet?" asked Kea suddenly.

"What circlet?" responded Dirk non-pulsed, his voice quiet once more?

"Well weren't you surprised she knew you?" asked Kea.

"She did not know me" replied Dirk in confusion. "You do be misinformed she had never seen me until I did walk into her rooms, at your recommendation I do remind you!"

Kea paused here. Something was wrong. Aes Sedai did not just forget and she was not wrong. Revoir was an expert on the mind and she had been involved with that circlet in making Dirk forget. She must have known him once he told her his memories were gone she would certainly have remembered. Very calmly she spoke again.

"Sorry Dirk I must have made a mistake. What have you remembered about your previous life as a Warder since these sessions started?"

"Lots," he snapped but not as vehemently as before. He looked a little lost, his carefree smiles of but minutes ago wiped from his face, like memories of summer, taken by the first frost.

"She is breaking down the barriers that separate my two lives. With the name, we will be able to progress, I am sure of it."

Kea wanted to object. This woman was not helping. She had deliberately not told Dirk she knew him, had not used the same ter'angreal that she had before. He was forgetting things he had known before, changing in ways that scared her. Dirk had been the only one she had been sure she could trust, but now…

This was dangerous, if what she thought was right that meant not all Aes Sedai were good. It meant danger here inside this White Tower where she had believed she was safe. After the test for Accepted she should have known better. In the third, what had she seen, the fall of the Black Ajah. The Black, Aes Sedai who were evil in a secret Ajah. Maybe… but no. She was still trapped. She had no proof, worse she was not even sure herself of the Yellow's intentions. Ha and to think she had thought of becoming a healer. This woman was no healing hand she was a harmful hand.

Now Kea knew why she had worn Green in the archway. She could not heal Dirk it was true, but she could protect him. She knew how to fight better than any of these girls! She could tear this Tower down! But she stopped that train of thought immediately, it was suicide. She would be blocked, shielded and then judged and finally severed if she tried any such thing. She had to think, be subtle. That wasn't her strong point.

"Okay Dirk, go to your Aes Sedai then, see if I care!" It was not difficult to sound petulant. She did care and it hurt her to send Dirk into danger. Would she take his memories of her? All they had shared? Would she have to start all over again with him?

Without a word, but his hurt expression speaking volumes, he turned on his heel, with his cloak and sword in hand, and left. She needed help but there was no one she could tell this to except Egwene, and she was being kept apart from the Novices except at night. Since becoming Accepted, Kea had no way to contact her then. During the day Egwene walked around only when with her bodyguards, it truly felt hopeless. If only she knew others who she could be sure would not be Black Ajah, who would help her and not immediately punish her for even speaking that taboo in the Tower. She could deal with punishments but being punished for that would be impossible to keep quiet and she was sure once the Black knew that she suspected them, awful things would begin to happen.

But there was no way to be sure of anyone, you could not simply look at someone and know whether or not they walked in the Light. Unless; unless she trusted the test. The Test had shown her with Dirk as her Warder, Egwene as Amyrlin Seat, herself Green, having battled the Black Ajah. All things she wanted in her future, all things she believed she could see accomplished. She would certainly try to make that the true future!

The paintings that had stood front of Egwene's room. Elaida stood before the Amyrlin Seat saying she would protect her to unite the Tower. Elaida hated Egwene, but a Dark friend? That was hard to believe. Still Elaida would probably not even see her and it was too public anyway. But the other painting the one with the daggers plunged into the black heart. She had known what that represented, the Black Ajah and its destruction or so they had believed. Into it had been plunged six different coloured daggers, one for each of the hunters, in the colours of their Ajahs. Names she knew as well as she had known her own. Names she could trust: Seaine, Pevara, Saerin, Yukiri, Doesine and of course, her own.

She knew the names and the Ajahs they couldn't be that hard to find. Well one of them at least. Watching Dirk's disappearing form she seriously considered following him. But alone she stood no chance of getting in to see what was taking place. She had to catch this Revoir Sedai and prove her hunch was correct. But for that she needed Aes Sedai. Now she knew how to find at least five who she could be sure of. After all what could be less like a Black Ajah, than a Black Ajah Hunter.


	19. Chp19: Ajah of the Light

Please forgive the creation of the word patronism, patronising didn't really work so I invented, call it an author's prerogative.

Note: The character Dirk's real name is Kye. So either appellation refers to him.

Disclaimer: All profits to RJ

**Chapter 19: Ajah of the Light**

She moved quickly, her fear for Dirk made her want to run. She had run at first but at a disapproving stare from some of the more senior sisters, she had realised that was a quick way to a sharp upbraiding and chores. Chores and punishments she did not have time for. Dirk was in trouble! She had wondered which name to go to. It seemed any would be as good as any other, except maybe the Yellow, as she would be accusing one of her Ajah. Then however it had come to her Turanna Sedai's friend. She had even spoken with her about Reading the Roots. Her name was Seaine Sedai and she was White just like in the painting from her test.

She went towards the White Ajah quarters, trusting in fate and in the Light, not knowing yet what she should do. The Ajah's kept mainly to themselves it was true and their individual; quarters were more like strong holds and were guarded by more than tradition these days. Suspicions seemed to fly through the air and now Kea felt as wrapped up in the plotting of the White Tower as any of them. Oh life had been so much simpler when she had been damane!

The thought almost made her stop moving. That was the first time that she could remember consciously thinking of herself as other than damane. She wondered as she continued on her direct route to the White Ajah quarters when it had happened. When she had stopped being an escaped damane and when she had truly seen herself as a future Aes Sedai?

"Careful child!"

Her eyes snapped wide open and she sunk into an automatic curtsey of apology not even sure yet of what she done. Looking up she saw Kera Sedai. She along with Turanna Sedai had escorted Kea to the Tower. She would surely be able to help… of course she could be trusted, after all she was Green! The Aes Sedai was looking at Kea as if annoyed by a running infant, frustrated but also amused.

"You must have your eyes wide open at all times in the Tower Accepted. If you do not, you will never hold the Oath Rod. Our lives are too complex and nothing is at it seems at first. Having these eyes open to start with will help you not fall into any pit falls later. A Green must always be aware of what is around her, how else can she be ready for every challenge? How else can she fight for the Light?"

Kea's mouth snapped shut; she had been going to blurt out everything. Was she a childish fool to have so quickly forgotten why she was seeking out Seaine Sedai? No one could be trusted! If there was a Black Ajah, and really by now everything she was doing was based on that being the case, it stood to reason some must be Green. She wished it weren't so, but Kea could be one. They would have to be good actors, and clever so as to never be caught in a lie. Still living as Aes Sedai at any time must help with that. After these discouraging thoughts she could not get away from Kea Sedai fast enough. She made her excuses and hurried away, hating herself for thinking badly of the woman and reminding herself that she was right not to trust. You could not but a high enough price on trust.

When she arrived at the Ajah quarters one of the Sisters stopped her at the doors. Her face was mildly interested, sometimes the Accepted carried messages and Kea was well known and liked by most of the Tower Aes Sedai. Indeed she was held up as a model. She kept the rules, was meticulous in her studies and was strong in the Power. Almost every Ajah had let her know she was more than welcome; to say they had courted her membership would not be going to far. She intended to play on that.

She curtseyed as low as a Novice would have and waited to be spoken to. "What is it child?"

"I am here to see if Seaine Seadai has any time to discuss my Talent with me. Her understanding so clearly went beyond my own reasoning that I got a little lost during our last session but I have been reasoning it through and I think I am ready to be helped again if she would. Could you tell her of my interest? I would be deeply thankful Aes Sedai. I have looked for her elsewhere but I know where I should not be and so I assumed she was in here."

The words were delivered perfectly. Her voice was tuned to only show subservience, interest and respect. One of many things she had perfected as a damane was to school her outward voice and appearance regardless of any inner turmoil. The Aes Sedai was pleased and said she would go see, indicating as she left that Kea should wait. She did but not long. Soon enough a quite gratified looking Seaine Sedai returned with her.

"So you are ready to start delving into this Talent of yours?" she said her voice bright and kind. That encouraged Kea it was nice to be able to look at someone and feel sure they were not Black Ajah. Of course if the Test was wrong… well if that had been wrong it was all over and her life would revert to a disaster. She had to put faith in something and so she put it in that hateful test. It had hurt to much to be anything but truth. Truth always hurt worst.

She could barely force herself to blurt out inanities as they walked to a classroom. The distance could not have been more than two floors, nor the time lost great, but she could not have privacy soon enough.

Almost as soon as the door was closed she turned to Seaine and burst out, "Aes Sedai I need your help! I have to tell someone and you are… I can trust you."

At first Seaine seemed shocked by the outburst and well she might. Kea had been known for never speaking out of turn and indeed being quiet and respectful in tone rather than flustered and urgent. She face swiftly resumed Aes Sedai-like calm however and even an irroic smile.

"What is it child? Problems with Pillow-Friends, or men?"

Kea could not help it she burst out laughing and then began to cry. Seaine seemed to think this indicated a success for her diagnosis, but Kea soon set her straight going so far as to cut her off.

"Aes Sedai I know a Sister who is Black Ajah. I can do nothing alone, I am only an Accepted. I know you can help me, please help me under the Light, you must!"

The Aes Sedai was speechless she simply stared at Kea, who assumed this was a good thing. It was better than her screaming at her and hauling her off to the Mistress of the Novices for summary Stilling! She decided to try and explain, her first statements had appeared shocking and she didn't was Seaine to think she was just rambling.

"I am sure I have caught Revoir Sedai being dishonest…" she began.

"Shut your mouth child! Don't you realise what you are saying!" snapped Seaine Sedai finally. Even as she spoke the Saidar blossomed inside her like the sun and a Ward of some kind was woven around the room. Kea was worried, it looked like she wasn't to be believed so easily, still the fact she had Warded the room was promising, or very ominous. If Seaine was Black, if she had misjudged she would be dead before she left this room. But then Kea thought again, no, she would be Green. If this Aes Sedai was Black then she would strike her down, Power for Power, she had taken no oath not to kill. She would fight for the Light and put out the darkness. No attack came.

"You cannot just accuse a Sister of that Accepted!" Kea knew she had not imagined the emphasis on the last word. "It is an outrageous claim, one that could bring you a very stiff sanction. How do you mean dishonest? Do you mean you think you heard her tell a lie? Did you hear her tell a lie?"

"Well no," replied Kea suddenly worried, feeling her ground work being swept out from under her before she even presented her case. "I just believe she is deliberately misleading…"

This time it was the Aes Sedai who laughed, though the laugh was mirthless and short. "Misleading? Child, I cannot think of a better word to describe the Aes Sedai than misleading. As the Oaths keep us from lying straight out we have become exceedingly adept at misleading people when it was necessary for the greater good. You obviously have no idea of what you are accusing this Sister."

"I am sorry Seaine Sedai," announced Kea resolutely. "But I do not have that excuse. I do know exactly what I am accusing her of. I am saying she walks in the Shadow and has foresworn her Aes Sedai Oaths to follow the Dark One and prepare the world for his return."

The Aes Sedai's face returned from confusion, amusement and exasperation to typical Aes Sedai calm. She was closed again like a book. She was sealed and unforthcoming, like Dirk's memory. Kea decided to use this as an opportunity to explain.

"I sent Dirk my… the man I came with who has lost his memory to Revoir Sedai." Seaine flinched as if that very fact that Kea was naming this woman she thought to be Black Ajah was an affront her ears could not accept. How could Seaine be one of the hunters who brought down the Black if she was so touchy? Still with every moment Kea was more convinced that Seaine herself was not Black and that at least was a start. This was all very new to the Aes Sedai Kea reminded herself. She had been preparing for this conversation; Seaine may well have never even believed such a thing as the Black Ajah existed.

"Because she specialises in the health of the mind, I know," finished Seaine.

"No, Aes Sedai, that is precisely it. I had no idea of such knowledge on her part. I sent Dirk to her because I saw her in the memories of his weapons and cloak. She and a circlet which I think must be a ter'angreal or at least something to do with the Power were involved in his loss of memory. She has not revealed this to him. I only realised she was the woman from the roots of his cloak after I met her during my raising to Accepted."

"Her not revealing such a connection makes her… Black Ajah!" The pause was noticed again by Kea.

"How will you be able to stand against them if you fear them so much?" she muttered. The thought was rhetorical and not to be spoken to late she realised she had spoken it and a very different Seaine Sedai responded.

"Child," the word was spoken with awful solemnity and scathing patronism. "I am a Sitter for my Ajah. I have written books on the use of the Power and have assisted in the saving of hundreds of lives. I have sat and worked with some of the most powerful women who walk this planet and faced evil head on. How dare you say that to me?"

Kea bowed her head ashamed and mumbled her apologies.

"I'll tell you another thing Child, I didn't cry myself to sleep was I was raised to Accepted and I am Full Aes Sedai, so you can know that for the bold unadulterated truth. When you are a full Sister, which I hope will somehow still be possible, you will understand much more about fear and how to control it!"

Kea was silenced, she could not answer her. She tried to speak but the righteous indignation of the woman who was staring down at her from under thick dark eyebrows, which made her eyes look like lighting under storm clouds, she had no answer. She summoned up images of Dirk to give herself the resolve for one more try.

"I am sorry. Revoir Sedai is doing more than being misleading. She is harming Dirk. When we came we knew Dirk was called Kye when he was a Warder. I know he knew her. Now he has forgotten things and one was his very name. How could he forget that? If you had been told your own name after having lost it years ago would you forget? And so completely than when you were told you were overjoyed and ran straight off to tell your healer to whom you are becoming strangely over attached?" Kea could not help the jealous tone but she did not care Seaine had to understand.

"I know she is hurting him and I cannot bear it, I will not! If you will not help me I will try the others, then we will catch her at it and get the proof I need to expose this evil woman and her Ajah." Kea's voice that had risen throughout, dropped again as she said, "She must be Black, she must be!"

Despite her renewed attack on a Sister, Seaine's commented on another word she had used. "Others?"

"Yes," replied Kea almost unthinkingly. "Pevera, Saerin, Yukiri or Doesine. If I can just get one of you to believe me."

Seaine made a choking noise and Kea turned to look at her surprised. The White Sister seemed to barely be able to stand. Her eyes were popping out of her skull below those dark brows and she clutched her hair with one hand whilst she held herself up with the other.

"How… how do you know those names?" The Power flared and suddenly Kea was shielded from Saidar. She was grateful of her assurance that Seaine was not Black Ajah because she had no idea how to stop the Sister doing that. She had not expected the revelation of those names to have any effect whatsoever and certainly not the one it had just had.

"You five were the only ones I could be sure of," Kea answered her voice wavering slightly just because Seaine wasn't Black didn't mean she couldn't hurt her. Or did it?

"How? How could you be so sure of us?" asked Seaine immediately. "Answer carefully and truthfully mind, a lot depends on the next thing you say." For a moment Kea did not respond and then as if to explain her silence she said, "I am not sure you will like the answer."

"That is a risk we all have to take," said Seaine flatly.

"In my test for Accepted I saw a future and in it was a memorial to the fall of the Black Ajah. Your names were all on it along…" she realised how presumptuous it would be to say her own name had been there too and so she changed what she had been going to add. "Along with your Ajahs." That was still technically true; she would make Aes Sedai yet.

"I am sure we can catch her at it, hurting Dirk, using this circlet maybe. If we could come in on her taking his memories or something, anything that could prove her bad. If only there was a way to show for sure she was Black, I would use it."

"There is a way," suggested Seaine. Her face was as still as a hidden rock pool, her voice clear but low. Kea had not noticed till then that the shield was gone.

"As you already know I am not revealing a secret by telling you. You just named the five Aes Sedai who have been set apart to root out the Black Ajah within the Tower. We have found some and are looking at several others. Our problem is being sure enough and then getting the opportunity to act. The Sister must be got alone and that is not always easy. The Tower is not yet ready to announce open warfare on the Black and if we did, the results could be disastrous. At best most of them would escape, at worst… Well can you imagine the intrigue, Sisters who walked in the Light framed as Black. We would turn on ourselves not knowing which way to strike until it was too late. There is no way to see Oaths, to know if someone is worthy of your trust or if she even walks in the Light."

"So it is hopeless?" asked Kea her voice despairing. She had truly believed the hardest part would have been getting Seaine to believe her. Now she believed, better than that the hunt was already on and she had allies ready made, but the task seemed impossible.

The Aes Sedai smiled properly for the first time. "Oh Child," the voice was kind not and no longer held any note of rebuke or patronism. "we may not end the Black this week but we will fight it. We may not be able to Strike at Shayol Ghul and seal the Dark One and his Taint away forever, but we can act. We will act! Now your Dirk, him we can save! Revoir Sedai her we can get alone and test. We will use the Oath Rod and I am afraid we will have to use it on you to make sure you are with us and not just a very clever actress."

That surprised Kea but she was overjoyed at the turn around that those names had produced. We will get that rod in your hands you swear to us you are speaking truth and walk in the Light. Then and without further delay we will go and catch Revoir in the act!"

"I hope Doesine Sedai will be okay, Revoir is a Yellow like her."

Seaine stopped in her tracks she had been heading out the door. As she turned Kea could see she had adopted a teaching manner and when she spoke she noted the lecturing voice. Still she paid no less attention to what was said and as the words came she realised they were words she needed to remember for the upcoming struggle.

"When they take the Black they abandon their Ajah. They are no longer anything, except to their Master whom the Creator sealed away. Colours come from light Kea, did you know that. Most people don't. All light is White, my Ajah uses it for that reason, and it is united and pure. Light is split into different colours. When we think we see a colour like this blue dress it is because this material or dye reflects that blue light and not some of the other parts of light. We Sisters in the Ajahs, we do the work of the Creator. We walk in the Light, we fight for the Light. If the Black Ajah is the Dark, then every other Ajah, all seven of us, are the Light. Look at our allies, all of different Ajahs. We are one in our fight for the Light. No longer strangers and foreigners but united in one Ajah." Her smile widened, "Consider is the Ajah of Light, temporarily formed for the specific purpose of destroying the Black Ajah. Then we will go back to being split into our little groups on another quieter day."

"I think I would like that. I'd like to be Accepted Kea of the Ajah of the Light" Kea said with a growing smile, as she followed her new ally out to gather their forces, rescue Dirk and finally do battle with evil.


	20. Chp 20: Confrontation

Author's Note: Last week I didn't post indeed I felt like I had been kicked in the gut and so I didn't even read any fanfic or WOT or anything. Robert Jordan is someone I look up to as an example. He walked in the Light and he wrote amazing fiction. That we may see his kind walk among us again, is my sincere wish. Thank you for all you did for us, your books were amazing.

To Robert Jordan, The Legend!

-

Note: The character Dirk's real name is Kye. So either appellation refers to him.

Disclaimer: All profits to RJ

**Chapter 20: Confrontation**

Dirk was excited. He sat in the chair waiting for Revoir Sedai to return. She had been a little shocked when he told her that his name was Kye; that he had remembered! He had admonished her not to be so modest, after all did she not expect success, wasn't she the expert!

She had left moments later to get a ter'angreal to help her extract the rest of these memories. This was it he could feel it he would have a break through. As he waited he gazed around the room. She had decorated it in impeccable style using Tairen maze designs on her cloths, rugs and curtains. Her apartments were always beautiful to look at and never cluttered. She said she liked to have space to work and that cluttered space led to a cluttered mind.

He was sat in the very centre of the room on the chair. As he did each week he had carefully folded his cloak and left it on the carved table by the door. It was a wonderful table with lots of sliding draws in it. Indeed the top of the table could be lifted and propped open at an angle to form a drawing surface. Some of Revoir's art was on display in the room. None of her pictures were of people or animals or even scenery. They were strange and intriguing whirls of colour that she said represented the mind and how it worked. He didn't see any of the symbolism she did, even after she tried to explain one to him. Still it was another proof that Aes Sedai were human.

"Here we are," she said, her voice oddly cheerful. She rarely sounded happy but then there had never been so much to be happy about. These sessions had worked he was remembering. He turned and smiled at her as she passed the table with his cloak and sword on. She was carrying in her hand a circlet. It was a band of pain iron but for a small sigil which looked like a V on its side overlaid with an S. For some reason he remembered his brief argument with Kea. She had mentioned a circlet. She had not been happy about Revoir either. She did say he was forgetting not remembering… What was it she had said exactly? But he could not remember, he had been too angry, in too much of a hurry to listen.

"She said you had a circlet to help" he commented. Revoir froze as if encased in ice. Her body went rigid but only for a moment when she continued removing something from, one of the draws in the table. Still her face was a mask, rigid and unreadable. Something of his old warrior instincts kicked in and he felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise like a dog's hackles.

She came to him and he decided he would ask, better safe than sorry. "Revoir Sedai, did you know me when I was a Warder?"

She did not reply instead she placed the circlet on his head. That was too much, she should have answered him. He raised his own hand to move the circlet but his wrists met resistance. The air seemed to harden around them holding him against the chair. He began to struggle in earnest and called out to Revoir that something did be wrong. Her face was still tense but she was smiling now. It was a haunting smile, one he decided he would not soon be able to forget. He knew then what had occurred, but too late.

"Release me!" he demanded loudly.

She laughed the first time he had heard the sound, or was it the first time? He was having a sudden feeling of having done all of this before. These memories: of her rigid face, haunting smile and high laugh. He did know those things, he was sure, but he could not remember them.

"No," she replied simply. "You need to forget all of this Kye. You need to unlearn what you have learned. I thought sealing your memory would do it but it seems not. You have forced me to do something more risky. I won't kill you that would cause all sorts of problems, but I think I will empty you. We always hoped we could get you to tell us what Nevir would not. Where is the Eye of Loyalty? Where is it Kye?"

Then his body exploded in pain, fire lanced through him jerking from nerve to nerve like lightning. He yelled out and screamed for a moment but the pain was so sharp and high he lost his voice. Then the pain disappeared and he felt the air holding him in the chair compressing, cutting off his ability to breathe, or even think. He lost track of time and the room around him. Instead he concentrated on just one thing forcing the air around his chest and throat apart enough so that he could breath; again and again, and again.

Unsure how long he had been in his half suffocated agony he felt it come off suddenly. Without warning his lungs were able to both fill and he almost choked on the air as it rushed into his chest.

"Well Kye have you remembered? The weave does not seem to be holding, so maybe you know now?" her voice was higher than he remembered or just perhaps his hearing had been affected by whatever she had done to him a moment ago.

"I don't know what this Eye is, but if I did not tell you before I would not now."

"Ha, Kye you are nothing like you used to be, you have lost your hard edge, your Warder-like inhumanity. You are breakable now, but I don't have the time. So if we cannot have the Eye of Loyalty we need only make sure it remains a myth. I won't just seal your memory this time Kye. We were hoping we could keep you alive but you have wasted that. Still if I kill you people will wonder and go snooping around, the Seanchan harlot among them!"

Dirk roared at her. "Her name is Kea. How dare you call her that?"

A slap of air silenced him. She made no effort to stop him screaming however so the room must be warded. No one would find him till much, much too late and even then they would not know anything untoward had been done, he would not remember, if he was even alive.

"I will have to strip you down Kye. Take your entire memory and just rip it out. It'll hurt and there is no reclaiming it. There will be no sealing it away this time, simply disposal, sorry." The last word was said with awful sarcasm which made Dirk want to shout at her again, regardless of the futility of the gesture. But his body hurt too much. He was going to forget, forget everything. He wondered if he would remember how to talk, eat or fight? Revoir Sedai seemed certainly capable of taking all of that as well. He began to feel fear now of all he would lose. He would forget Kea and who she was. He would forget Giro and his gift of trust. He would forget everything he had done. He slumped on the chair the circlet tightening on his head. You could not fight the Power. This was why Aes Sedai took the oaths otherwise they could do this… wait, the oaths!

"You can't do this. You do be sworn not to use The Power as a weapon. If you do this you do not be Aes Sedai!"

"I am not a servant, no. I am a Master!" revelled Revoir. Now she was not just smiling, her eyes appeared almost mad with some hidden delight. He noticed she wore an armlet over her left forearm now it had a large gem in the end where it rested over the end of her wrist. The gem sparkled and shone with some inner light. He felt the circlet grown cold and he knew the channelling had started. Soon everything even Kea would be nothing but a memory. What a pity he had not got to tell her things, got to know her better. In a way they had both rescued each other and it was sad that they would not know each other after today. It wasn't sad it was flaming tragic! His mind grew cold and it became hard to think he began to relax, going slowly numb to everything around him.

Kea was impatient but as an Accepted she could not well chasten Aes Sedai. Still she shot looks full of urgency at them. Still for all that they glided across the hallways of the Tower with graceful strides and serene faces she had to admit they were making good time. Yukiri the Grey was still asking Seaine questions about her conversation with Kea under her breath. Pevara the Red seemed most determined and excited to get to the room she alone appeared to be hurrying as well as actually moving quickly. Her face was one of anticipation; nothing could show more clearly her preference for an out and out confrontation. Not one for all this sneaking around Pevara. Doesine was waling closest to Kea. It was the Yellow Sitter who had gotten them all into the Yellow Ajah Quarters without too much hassle. When they had been seen they had received some odd looks but Saerin had muttered something about unfortunate but could not be helped. Anyway Doesine had spoken to them and they had let them past. She had mumbled to herself as they had walked clearly upset that they were going to have this confrontation with a Yellow Sister. Still she seemed no less determined than the rest of them. She had chosen the right allies. Her arches had shown her something true. She could only hope the rest wasn't true. Kea thought she heard something about mother's milk as the mumbling continued and tried not to listen.

When they got to the door Kea saw the Ward immediately. "She has Warded the room. Surly this means something is going on!"

"Calm child," Saerin reprimanded her gently. The scar on her cheek seemed to suddenly stand out as if to back up that she knew the face of battle as well as any. "If we had not already determined to act on what you claimed we would not be here."

"This is a strong ward and we can't strike at her till she attacks us or proves herself Shadowspawn. May I suggest we link and enter immediately?" said Seaine. "Pevara should lead."

No one gainsaid the White and Pevara looked almost flattered as they linked. Though Kea could feel that Pevara was stronger than the others, Saerin and Yukiki were so close as to make little difference. Still it was Pevara's place. Still Kea was glad she was not invited into the link. She may be only Accepted, but she was stronger in the Power than any of these. What was more she had been trained damane, and had known more about how to kill with the Power, than any of these Aes Sedai, after her first month of training. Plus she had taken no oaths, not yet.

The Aes Sedai linked and at Pevara's nod she tried the door it would not open. Pevara shrugged and motioned for Kea to stand back which she did. Earth, a little Fire and then a swift infusion of Air, the door exploded inward wood splinters firing all around the room. Kea led the change into the room.

Kye was rigid in a chair his head tossing from side to side. Around his head was an iron band. It was the circlet she had seen before when she had Read the Roots of his cloak. Revoir Sedai was standing behind him shock covering her face at being confronted so dramatically with five Sitters, one from her own Ajah and an Accepted. Kea could only imagine how much of the Power they must be channelling, still she was more surprised at how much Revoir was channelling. She had been near her several times and never had she felt this amount of Power emanating from the Aes Sedai. Waves of Power came off her and then Kea noticed the armlet.

"She has an angreal!" she shouted whilst hurling herself sideways.

Not expecting the pure amount of _saidar_ that Revoir was channelling, they circle had tried to cut her off from the Source. But she was holding too much. With a sudden high pitched laugh she turned and unleashed blue-hot flames directly at the Sitters. At least that proved she was Black once and for all. The Circle, sent a wall of hard Air slamming into her but she somehow managed to cut their weave. Saerin suddenly cried out and clutched her head.

"Hurts doesn't it!" cackled Revoir, who was clearly the assailant. She was weaving Spirit and a little Air but Kea didn't understand what she was doing with it.

She found herself under a table with Dirks things on and pulled his cloaks and sword to her. Just out of reflex and a desire to have her hands free she put on the cloak and pulled the sword's belt around her waist. She needed to use the tightest notch but it stayed on.

Meanwhile the Circle and Revoir were throwing themselves at each other without moving. The Power raged between them attempt after attempt was made by each to cut the other off from the source and diversionary attacks were made with fire and even a little lighting. Still neither side seemed to be able to get the upper hand. Saerin had been joined by Doesine in clutching her temples and writhing in agony. Kea wondered in this was affecting the potency of the Circle. Pevara seemed strained and Kea could think of no other reason for their repeated failures to master the Black Aes Sedai.

She moved across the room quickly at first but then slowed realising that with the hood up if she moved slowly she was all but invisible, in the back drop of this war of Power. True to her thoughts she snuck right behind Revoir and took the circlet from Dirk's head he had stopped moving as it seemed Revoir had stopped channelling into the ter'angreal. She was concentrating everything on the circle of Sitters.

She was tempted to grab a hold of saidar and do some exploding herself. Dirk was hurt and badly and that made her so angry that she wanted to rip the skin of this little scheming wretch whilst she still lived but she remembered what she was trying to become, Aes Sedai. Still in the last defence of her life or that of her Warder, she thought. She looked at Dirk he was as good as her Warder, no he was more than her Warder. He had saved her, he had protected her; he was friend and family to her. She would not lose him!

With a howl Seaine collapsed as had the other two. It was awful to see Somehow Revoir was attacking their minds and preventing them from channelling not by cutting off that link but by making them incapable of holding it. If she channelled strong as she was, she was not the strength of the circle. If it went wrong she would be a writhing wreck just like the others. Her hand tightened around Dirk's long sword. Why not?

With no cry to give her away she quietly drew the sword and pulled it back. Then with both hands firmly grasped around the hilt she plunged it through the back of Revoir's shoulder. The Yellow, gone Black, howled and lost her grip on _saidar_. That was all Pevara needed and a shield was slammed into place between her and the Source.

Kea placed a booted foot on Revoir's back and yanked the sword out of her enemy with both hands. Pevara replaced the Ward around the room. Then she and Yukiri moved to assist the slowly rising Aes Sedai who had been incapacitated during the flight. Revoir was obviously hurting on the floor the wound in her shoulder was bleeding copiously wetting the floor and staining her Tairen rug. Kea had never cared less about a human being before, not even other damane. This woman was less than property. Reaching down she wrested the armlet angreal from Revoir's forearm. It was a strong angreal and just touching it made her ach to fill herself with the Power.

When she straightened the five Sitters turned hunters stared back at her. "Well done Accpeted," Pevara complimented her. "We could do with someone of your courage in the Red!"

Though still grimacing as she got to her feet Seaine laughed. "Pevara, don't you have eyes. She brought us all through this for a man, a Warder trained man. No Red Shawl for Kea Sed… for Kea. Green maybe not certainly not Red."

Pevara nodded and with a shrug of her shoulders she sighed. "What a waste. Can you hold this shield Child?"

Kea nodded and the shield was turned over to her so that the five Aes Sedai could see to each others hurts. Revoir just whimpered on the floor and did not even try to escape. Her cocky laughter and brazen bravery had disappeared along with her ability to touch _saidar_.

Doesine went to Dirk as soon as she could stand. After a moment she announced, to the assembled relief of the room that he lived. Kea was shocked for a moment that they had ever considered he might be dead. If he had been dead, well she knew several ways to kill with the Power that were utterly painless. However she knew far far more ways that caused varying amounts of agony. Leaning down next to Revoir she whispered in her ear.

"I have held no rod in my hands. I can do anything to you, you evil scum!"

Suddenly she felt an overwhelming urge to hurt this evil woman who had hurt her Dirk, her Warder. She almost did so but was interrupted as Yukiri lifted her skirts and pulled what had been hidden beneath them into her hand. It was a clear rod somewhere between white and transparent. It was the Oath Rod.

"You will be interested to know Revoir that just as your Black Ajah can revoke Oaths with this so can we revoke theirs. Now come and revoke your Oaths we have four new ones for you. Three you should never have forgotten and a new one to make sure you keep them."

Yukiri was not being very diplomatic at the moment. Her stance was straight backed and domineering, her voice cold and demanding. The other four came and stood beside the Gray flanking her and adding their own silently demanding stares.

"No you can't you must not make me!" begged a now petulant and sobbing Revoir. All her grandeur had deserted her. Powerless she whined like a child. "You have no idea of the promises the Dark One makes, the enticements. But they are nothing compared to the punishments he sets down for those who foreswear their oaths, nothing!"

"Oh we know," commented Pevara as if talking of blackberry bushes. "The last Black Ajah we had foresworn suffered nastily."

Revoir's eyes seemed to grow even larger and she cried even more freely. "But you won't you can't torture me it is not in the last defence of your lives any more! I may serve the Dark but I am not Shadowspawn you cannot torture me! The oaths!" her voice was pleading rather than demanding. Her defeat had shaken her and her still bleeding shoulder had obviously unbalanced her. Still if Kea was right Pevara's comment that others had broken before her and it had hurt, seemed to scare her even more.

"I swore no oaths," said Kea, she could not make her voice sound like anything other than hollow death. When she continued she could still hear it and though she tried to soften it every word was a clear threat. "Now tell me and make no mistake, do not lie. What did you do to Dirk?"

"I was going to remove his memories; it seems he is remembering despite my work on him. It could be dangerous to me. The Circlet of Memories allows me to seal things away, it was used in medicine long long ago."

"So with the ter'angreal you could restore his memories?" asked Kea her voice clipped and short.

Revoir spoke very softly with a distinct pleading note but she had recovered a little of her composure. She was speaking of her craft now and maybe bargaining for her freedom that offered hope. "I could. But you would not want that, I promise you."

"Strange," said a weak voice. All eyes moved to Dirk still sitting in his chair. He seemed to weak to move but he had tilted his head to look at the Aes Sedai dark friend sitting on the floor. "That sounds exactly like what I want. Because then I would be able to find this Eye of Loyalty and that would cause you a serious problem. Do not lie you evil creature. My memories would only help us and hurt you!"

"Have you no mind left Kye? You let me take your memories! Other good little Aes Sedai suggested you let me do it. I saved your life regardless of what else I did in sealing them away. We were friends Nevir and I after a fashion and you and I always understood one another. Still when I discovered you were going to try and use the Eye of Loyalty well, that was just too dangerous. Still I didn't have Nevir killed, she was a true friend to me, and I swear it is true. Other hands did that work, grey men I believe. I never asked it hurt too much. You went insane Dirk, you were going to go and try to kill Black Ajah members whom you were not even sure you could prove were Black. You just wanted to do anything to get revenge on the Dark One for taking your Aes Sedai. I simply removed those memories allowed you a fresh start. It was the kindest thing I have ever done!"

Though she said all of this apparently to Dirk her eyes were fixed on Kea throughout. It was almost as if she believed that if she could convince Kea all the rest would fall into line.

"Even if what you say is partly true you would claim anything to save your evil neck. Your latest actions prove your allegiance," announced Pevara.

"If you have done nothing wrong, you will be fine. The ter'angreal we use only makes you relive the consequences of your own actions, so as long as you have been really nice to everyone…"

Her façade cracked and finally she tried to break her shield at the same time she threw herself bodily at Kea. Her shoulder obviously hurt her, for as she attempted to seize Kea's throat only one of her two hands came up. Kea batted it away and giving in to her temptations she lashed back with the Power. Revoir's attempt to break the shield bounced off like a blunt butter knife on solid rock. Tumbling to the floor, she crawled on her hands and knees to Kea's feet, begging forgiveness.

"They keep the rebel Amyrlin on fork root, maybe we should do the same till we get her to the ter'angreal and break her," suggested Kea ruthlessly. Her eyes gazed down pitilessly at her victim crawling around her feet.

"I will return Dirk's memory myself. I will Read the Roots of the Circlet and then return his memory. You get her to renounce her evil and obey us and we will get this Ajah and crush it. Then we will indoctrinate every Aes Sedai to come up from Accepted so they never choose to reform it!"

"My my _Accepted_, aren't we getting bossy" commented Saerin. Kea blushed. "I am sorry Aes Sedai. I am not myself, I beg pardon."

"One thing is clear, you must be raised Aes Sedai immediately. We can't do that now, not really I wish we could, but between five Sitters we can pretty much get anything we really want to see done, done." Saerin held out a hand and Yukiri placed the Oath Rod in it.

"You are perfect for the Battle to come. A shame, you are ill fitted for Brown, we could do with one of your strength. Still I will give you a warning. You come very close to becoming something that you hate. Thirteen years ago I knew Nevir Sedai. She hated evil, but a colder and more dangerous woman I never met inside my Ajah. I knew this man, now I see him. Kye too was a dangerous and cold man. Not at all what he appears to be now. It could be well for all that he never remember Nevir, or what he did with the other years of his life. While it was clear she spoke to Kea she occasionally moved her gaze to lock eyes with Dirk. Think carefully before you do anything so momentous, these things should not be tampered with lightly. Aes Sedai are not the Creator. You girl, know too much about pain, submission and death. Aes Sedai you are not but I would like some Oaths from you and I would like them right now!"

In the wake of this little speech the room was utterly silent. The Ward was keeping more noise out than in. Kea simply stood silently and then proffered her hand for the rod. It was placed in her hand.

"Swear to tell no word that is not true."

"I swear to speak no word that is not true."

"Swear to me you are not Black Ajah"

"I am not Black Ajah!"

"Swear to me you will not use the Power as a weapon except in the last defence of you or your Warder."

Kea paused. She did not want to give this Oath. It would limit her just like it limited all these Aes Sedai from being truly affective in battle.

"I'll give that Oath when you raise me."

Saerin nodded and took back the Oath Rod, handing it to Yukiri. "I wondered what would be your limit. Fear that side of yourself, the side that will morn when you give up the ability to hurt others. It is that part of you that the Dark One will appeal to."

Pevara broke in on the renewed silence. "Kea, look after Dirk. Doesine can you see what can be done about the door and a temporary cover story. Let's get this Black Ajah to her new chair. The rest can wait. Agreed?"

All agreed and moved out. Kea finally turned to Dirk. He shook his head bewildered, it was the most movement she had seen from him. "What have you gotten us into?" he asked with a grin. "Black Ajah and five Sitters. I do not be sure which is worse!"


	21. Chp 21: No Matter the Cost

Note: The character Dirk's real name is Kye. So either appellation refers to him.

Disclaimer: All profits to RJ

**Chapter 21: No Matter the Cost**

Those following weeks were possibly the strangest of Kea's life; knowing that she, an Accepted, was involved in waging a secret war with five other Aes Sedai, against the Black Ajah. It was exciting and terrifying. Any Sister could be Black and if any of them knew, any who were in the same… what was the word… heart, as Revoir. Revoir had been dosed with Forkroot and the full Sisters were using a chair shaped ter'angreal, called the Chair of Remorse, on her. They did not have Kea join in they said she was already too much in love with battle and hurt. That had angered her but she had tried to be meek and not let it show. Hadn't it been she who had come and gotten them? It had been she who had convinced them that Revoir was Black and to go do something about it. She was finding out now that they had many suspicions but they were afraid to act, for fear of making an error. A small part of Kea knew that caution was crucial and that the Sisters were wise to act so but she chaffed at the time it was taking. Revoir was incredibly reluctant to foreswear her oaths to the Dark One. This meant that they must be terrible indeed for she had shown herself to be anything but a woman of courage.

So, suspense and excitement, fear and impatience all warred within her. She had to wait, always to wait on other people. Wait for them to break Revoir, wait for them to find more Black Ajah, wait for them to raise her full Aes Sedai so that she could act as she wished and could bond Dirk. That she would bond him was in her mind a foregone conclusion she had decided it in her heart long before she had realised it consciously. She assumed Dirk had come to this same conclusion and was simply waiting as she was. The halls of the White Tower seemed as pain as the walls of a cell, as hard as the bars of a prison.

She had practised channelling under all sorts of stresses and distractions and found that her abilities and control had grown considerably during her stay in the Tower. The Aes Sedai were as good a set of Teachers as they claimed to be. And she had been as good a pupil as they could have wished for. Still her time as a damane had given her plenty of experience channelling in conditions of battle, cold, heat and near death. She was ready to be tested and raised, but still everything was delayed.

So she had read the Roots of the Circlet of Memory. That had proved more difficult than she had expected. Confident in her Talent which she had used so often she had waded in and found herself caught in a tide more powerful than she. The Circlet contained hundreds, no thousands of memories. She could see it being used numberless amounts of times by hundreds of different Aes Sedai, unsure if any of them were Revoir. She was lost like a child in a swamp, unable to see anything distinctive, unable to move and explore safely, excruciatingly curious and yet in deathly danger and consumed by fear. She did not know where to step in that marsh of memories. So she had stopped channelling and withdrawn; to wait, to keep on waiting. It had been driving her insane. That was until today. Today everything changed. Today Revoir had broken.

She had been summoned by Kiruna Sedai and arrived to find Pevara and Saerin in the room as well as Kiruna. Kea had curtsied as was proper though her heart was hammering with excitement and her lips were set to burst holding in the torrent of words and questions that were so eager to pour forth.

"We have her," Pevara had announced simply. That was her style and manner, regardless of whether she was discussing the weather, men who could channel, lecturing Novices or discussing the torture of a Sister of the Black Ajah.

"She had foresworn her oaths and re-sworn those that make her Aes Sedai. She also swore the fourth oath of obedience. She has divulged the names of her Heart and her 'one other'. We included you in the forth oath child." Kea smiled at this her face unable to hide her joy or her pride in being included. The possibilities were now endless. "It was a close thing on whether we did or not but that facts are clear. You brought us to her and you will be raised soon enough. This is no time for quibbles of age and seniority. Still we would like you to consider this a test. Abuse this position and you will be dealt with by us. This chance will not be offered a second time."

"I understand," replied Kea as humbly as she could. She had been going to stare Pevara in the eye to assure her she was ready for the challenge but remembered how some of her sul'dam mistresses had seen such an action. So she kept her eyes lowered as she assured the Aes Sedai she would not let them down. Only hours later she was with Revoir and getting the information she needed; less than an hour after that she was seeking the Warders.

Dirk swung his blade through three tight arcs each intersecting the others. He and two other Warders were trying to disarm and defeat Ashley. He was remarkably gifted with the sword and was simply too fast for Dirk to keep up with. Still the three of them were no novices to blade-work and were trying to work through his blinding quick swipes with practised tactics as they probed for an opening.

As they fought Dirk felt his mind wander. Fighting was quite mechanical for him, especially when it was unnecessary. This was just a test of skill, speed and technique, nothing too important. As he never remembered learning to fight or even much of the fighting he had done, it was more automatic than anything except breathing. This reminded him of how things were with Kea she moved too fast for him to keep pace. Her abilities with the One Power made her a force he could never equal. So instead he sought to break her down and understand her one step at a time. He had to work slowly patiently, building up each moment atop another until he could be sure that what he did would count for something. Should he dive right in he would be beaten just as surly as he would should he recklessly attempt to skewer Ashley on his blade right now. Instead he backed away a step and brought his blaxde down hard on the point of Ashley's weapon driving the point low and almost into the ground. Another of the Warders moved in to stab Ashley but he twisted his body and his sword in one fluid movement. The twist of his sword took it out from under Dirk's blade and his body span him round to face this new attack. Even as Ashley brought his sword up to attack one Warder, his feet carried him away from yet another attack from the last. How he did it all Dirk could not fathom. Not only could his body not keep up with Ashley his mind couldn't either. Ashley beat almost every Warder who sparred with him. Galad, a trainee from before the split had been able to beat him one on one and some of the Warder trainers, but not many. Still three on one was a test, if you out number someone, no matter how strong, you have a chance.

As Dirk attacked again trying to draw Ashley's fire he noticed Kea standing watching the contest. He almost shook his head at the surge of adrenalin. Like a child he wanted to suddenly impress, now he was in front of his friend. But reason won out it always did with Dirk. He held himself steady and didn't sell his two allies short. Then he saw it. It was as if Kea's arrival had lit a light in his mind. He pulled his sword into both hands and slashed horizontally at Ashley's back as he had known he would, Ashley span back from his last clash and blocked the blow. As soon as the swords connected Dirk dug his feet in and lunged forward onto the two swords and Ashley. In a flurry of movement the two went down in a heap of blades and limbs. Dirk felt the bite of sharp steel but simply gritted his teeth this was the only way to beat Ashley before he managed to take them out one by one.

"Your dead Dirk," said Ashley, his Taraboner accent coming out clearly in his confusion.

"I know," admitted Dirk, lying atop him unwilling to move and let the cut across his chest bleed freely. The blade was still plugging some of the wound. "But so are you,"

That much was true. Both the other Warders had blades to Ashley's throat. "If we'd kept on you would have got us tired and making mistakes and one by one we would have been beaten. If there are more than one of us and we can get a one for one trade it makes sense to take it."

Ashley laughed but just as Dirk was trying to join him in that laughter he felt a sharp pain rip across his chest as he was pulled up and back off the crossed blades between them.

"Inhuman! Men!" Kea was shouting. "Why weren't you using practise lathes if you were going to start doing that kind of foolishness?"

Ashley was apologetic as he got to his feet bleeding very slightly himself, through his shirt. "Sorry Accepted, normally we don't do much foolishness. It's really the first time any of the Warders have tried something like that with unsheathed steel."

"Yes, I know it's Dirk's fault. you don't have to tell me. Dirk how could you? No, don't speak I am too angry with you. Where do you think you are going Gaidin?"

Ashley turned back; he had been trying his best to leave. "Come here and let me heal you. I am not very good at it but there, that will have to do. Go and get something to eat, at least you didn't need much. Now go and you two make sure he gets something to eat." All three of the Gaidin seemed happy to be away from the irritable Accepted and made quick time away from her.

"How could you Dirk? You are too reckless!"

"I knew who I was fighting. It was the only way to beat him," answered Dirk calmly.

"You didn't need to beat him, you were just practising, and that's why no one has done that to him before with bared steel! You could have been seriously hurt Dirk!"

"Not really I knew what I was doing and I knew who I was fighting. As we fell he spent his split second turning his blade flat against me. I knew I risked little more than a scratch."

"You be quiet Dirk Steadysteel. This is NOT a scratch!" He was hit without warning by a jolt of healing that fair took his breath from him and left him feeling hungry and tired; too tired to fight with the whirlwind that was his Aes Sedai. No! Not his Aes Sedai, his friend, his friend Kea. Dirk shook his head tapping himself on the side of the skull with the flat of his hand.

"Now get up, oh I am so mad with you. But this is more important Dirk I know. I know how to use the Circlet; you need to come with me so we can use it on you. You'll find out everything we'll be able to finish what you and Nevir Sedai started."

That left him speechless. What did you say to someone who offered you your entire life? It was too impossible, though he had known for sometime that it was possible, even certain that this time would eventually come. Still it had not been real till now. Then he remembered the warnings, from himself, from Kea, from the Saerin Sedai. He didn't know what to do what to think. Luckily Kea wasn't asking him. Instead she took him almost by the scruff of the neck, as it were, and half dragged, half walked him back into the Tower. Things were busy in the Tower apparently a negotiation group had been sent to the Black Tower and negotiations had been re-opened with the Rebel Aes Sedai as well. So things were truly bubbling inside the Tower. Kea and a bewildered Dirk were the least of anyone's worries.

As they went she explained that Revoir had to obey her and she had commanded the woman to tell her how to use the Circlet of Memory. She did not tell him that Revoir had renewed her protests that returning memory was always tricky and this much at once both dangerous and potentially permanently character altering. She had also reiterated Saerin Sedai's warning against Kea trying it. Kea had succinctly commanded her not to speak of her intentions unless specifically asked by someone who she had sworn to obey. That had made her proud and ashamed at the same time. Proud that she was learning so well to be Aes Sedai and circumvent truth and oaths and ashamed for exactly the same reasons. She was misusing the Aes Sedai's gift of trust. Worse, she did not care.

Moments later they were approaching her rooms. "Cloak yourself and I'll put up a little Ward to help. Can't have all the raised eyebrows you going into my rooms would cause. Dirk looked discomforted but did as he had been asked. Even as her eyes slipped away from him she weaved another cloak of the Power over where he stood making him even more indistinct, as if gauze had been laid over the place where he stepped.

It worked; they arrived in her apartments unchallenged. She let go of a breath she had not realised she had been holding. As she released it she heard Dirk releasing a longer and louder breath right behind her. She let her Weave disperse and turned to her cot. From under her mattress she retrieved the Circlet of Memory. As she had been instructed by Revoir she attuned it to Dirk. This was as she had been told very easy because he was the last person to have used it. Revoir explained that though it was activated by the Power it was the persons own mind that operated the ter'angreal. The mind she had suggested would be just as strong as the One Power if one knew as much about how to use it. Utter rubbish but Revoir must have believed it because she had said it, and without any Aes Sedai like twisting of her words.

When she turned she saw Dirk as tense as when they had met and she had almost killed him. He seemed like a trapped rabbit staring at her, paralysed by fear. She felt certain if she made any sudden movement, he would bolt. "Remember Dirk, all we are going to do is remember. That's all. This is the last thing you need to do and we will have the Black Ajah. We will have the weapon, you and Nevir found. You have to do this, we have to do this!"

He nodded and lowered himself to the floor sitting cross legged. He pulled out a small piece of paper and wrote a scribbled line or two. Then he placed it beside him face down and looked at her. She moved across determined not to catch his eyes and feel the need to answer the questions there. He wanted to know what would happen but she couldn't lie to him, not about this. Indeed, maybe not ever again, thanks to her oath. Luckily for her, he was good at doing what he was told, just like she had been.

She laid the Circlet on his head and with the slightest touch of Spirit she aligned it with his memory. Then reaching into the ter'angreal she sensed the block. The memories were not stored within the Circlet she had learned, rather the Circlet worked as a kind of seal. The memories were still in some part of Dirk's brain or soul, wherever memories were kept by the body. The circlet had sealed them away from his consciousness and now she would unseal them. Breaking a dam and allowing them to flow free once more through his consciousness. She found the seal and using the Power she figuratively picked it up in her hands. For a moment she relished the Power she had over him. She could not help it; she could reconstruct his memories any way she wanted. Take out anything she didn't like, make sure he only remembered her as beautiful and strong. That made her think, what if he had a love, even a wife or a family? Would she give him that back? She didn't want him to leave and go to other responsibilities he might have, other loves even other women. Shaking herself in anger or denial she mentally railed against herself for her selfishness. Before such thoughts could return she smashed the seal into a million pieces, beyond any thought of reconstruction or salvage.

She opened her eyes and stepped back. Dirk remained sat cross legged on the floor. The circlet on his head hummed slightly, but otherwise looked unchanged and inert. Dirk's eyes were closed but occasionally scrunched up. When this happened his neck would go rigid and his body tremble for a moment, but he made no sound. Occasionally he would jerk his head from one side to another. He was like this for first minutes and then hours. Kea did not know what to do. So she waited, and waited. When the morning rays crept through her window she could feel her fatigue mounting. It was difficult to stay, yet impossible to leave. She was responsible for this. Every horrible consequence of messing around with ter'angreal you didn't understand was rippling through her memory. She had trusted a woman who she had known was Black Ajah. She had ignored more senior Sisters. Why had she been so rash with her only true friend? He was it, she realised, her only friend, her only family. He was the only Warder she wanted, the only man for that matter. Oh it hurt, she might have thrown him away and why? Simply for impatience to get what she wanted. She felt lower than the dog she had believed herself to be when she had been damane. Truly she was marath-damane right now. She should be leashed; if she was she could never have done this. She remembered her archways, how she had let Dirk down. How she had sacrificed him for herself and left him. Maybe this was her doing it for real? Clutched in her hand was the paper he had scribbled on. _No matter the cost! I trust you with my mind and my heart. My life before yours!_

His heart, could that mean… Just as she was about to sink into utter despair and go and confess all to Saerin, Pevara and the others, Dirk's eyes snapped open. Almost sobbing with relief she sank down in front of him, her eyes filling with tears of relief. "Dirk your back!" she exclaimed almost laughing, an inch from crying. Moving for an instant to put her arms around his shoulders and sag on him in relief.

But as her eyes locked with his and she saw the pitiless voids that stared back at her she realised that she had just unknowingly told a lie.


	22. Chp 22: To the Eye

Note: The character Dirk's real name is Kye. So either appellation refers to him.

**What has gone before**: It has been some time since I updated so a quick recap if it is needed. Kye was a Warder to Nevir Sedai of the Brown Ajah. They discovered a ter'angreal called The Eye of Loyalty which could discern one's oaths and loyalties. Before they could affectively use it Nevir was killed and to save her Warder Kye had his memories removed. He then began a new life as Dirk, not remembering all that had gone before, in the south. During the Seanchan invasion he came into contact with and 'rescued' a damane called Kea. First attempting to return her to her people and later helping her on her way to becoming an Aes Sedai the two travelled north together. A friendship has grown out of that and for Kea a true attraction and for both a mutual inter-dependence. They are within the white tower during the siege and have become embroiled in the hunt for the Black Ajah, aware of who Dirk used to be they have discovered the method used to seal his memory and Kea has just removed it.

Disclaimer: All profits to RJ

**Chapter 22: To the Eye**

Dirk just gazed at her for an entire silent minute. She could not break the silence, though she sorely wished to. She was holding her body rigidly in place still half tilted towards her old friend. He had been her friend, he had! She had been so afraid she had lost him and that his eyes would never open again after the trauma of removing the seal on his memories. Maybe it had been too sudden? Maybe the reasoning, that he would have died had he not lost those memories, had been more than a smokescreen excuse by Revoir? But Kea had been so relieved and she had been on the cusp of shouting for joy and of embracing him for the first time. She had been about to forget herself and her fears in a tide of cooling relief. Now that was shattered, for she had lost him. She was not sure exactly how but though living the eyes that held hers in this grave like silence were not those of her friend. Dirk it seemed was lost somewhere within.

It was he who broke the silence. "I need to get out of your apartments before I am noticed. We can use the same Ward we used on entering." He got to his feet, his Warder-like grace making it seem one effortless motion though he had been sitting cross-legged for hours.

"Dirk," she began but her voice was close to betraying her. "Do you… do you remember?" she finally managed.

"Of course, thank you" he replied. There was no insincerity to his tone, no deliberate sting to his words, yet they hurt. He was suddenly as cold as ice and as still. There was no longer a wasted motion or word and she realised as she thought this he had stopped smiling. Dirk always smiled; if he had ever stopped he soon restarted. His face looked strange without his smile; his voice was foreign without its kindly lilt. She was already missing the slightest fidgeting which had occupied his waiting moments and now was forgotten.

Pulling herself together and trying not to make her own discomfort as obvious as his own change she began her weaving. Her concentration was off but her well practised routines came into play. She had been practising endlessly forming weaves under duress in preparation for becoming Aes Sedai. Her life as a damane had prepared her well for such a test, as had her studious life her in the White Tower. It had never seemed so difficult to summon the inclination and energy to use the Power. It was more akin to the feeling of letting the Power go than embracing it, because she knew that this weave was sending Dirk out of this room and away from her. Once he crossed that threshold this change would somehow be more real, undeniable and permanent. Still there was no use in holding off, she had pushed Dirk into this had ignored the advice given her, she could not avoid the consequences she didn't like, he was not her toy to play with as she saw fit.

The Ward in place and his cloak on his shoulders Dirk left. Kea accompanied him into the hall. "I will be less likely to attract attention alone, Accepted. We can meet by the Warders grounds tomorrow, early. Then we can plan for the retrieval of the Eye." With the words barely out of his mouth he swept away from her down the corridor. With his cloak and the Ward in place he was impossible to see but to her, her own weaves glowed brightly. It looked like all light and happiness was leaving her life. She returned to her room and warded it. Then she wept unashamedly in the privacy of her own sorrows. Through her tears she forced herself to read a short note gripped in her clenched fist. _No matter the cost! I trust you with my mind and my heart. My life before yours!_ What had she sacrificed?

The next day, he was waiting for her calm and cool practising with his blade, going through forms. Sweat was pouring off his skin in the early morning chill, so Kea assumed he had been out for some time already.

"How did you sleep?" she asked.

"Extremely well Accepted, I am ready for the challenge ahead" he replied in a curt and clear tone without breaking the rhythm of his practise.

"Can we talk here?" she asked.

"I believe so, we seem far enough away and after all people expect us to be talking and so make little effort to overhear us. We are it seems old news. Everyone, including the other Warders, is far more concerned with the negotiations and the siege."

"Do you remember the location of the Eye?" she asked a little breathlessly. Even now after all that had happened she could not stop her heart racing in excitement at the prospect of finding this ter'angreal. Indeed it had been that very excitement that had caused her to act so quickly and without forethought.

"Of course, indeed I have a better memory of my life than maybe any man alive. It is as if it has been only a day since I did everything. I remember my first steps, how I felt when I was given my first sword, the dirt in my teeth at Soremaine, everything. Nothing could be clearer."

"Where is it?" she pressed.

"Not far, if we had the eye of the world we could probably see it from here. Turning he pointed and she followed the direction of his right index finger. There in the distance it rose strong and large and imposing, Dragonmount.

"You buried it on the slopes of Dragonmount?" she asked for confirmation her voice now an urgent whisper.

"Yes, Nevir was not sure we would be able to use it unimpeded and could not risk the Black Ajah stealing or destroying it in the wait, so we hid it nearby but out of reach. When will we go to retrieve it? I look forward to the dealing out of some death and judgement that is already five years old."

"Soon, tomorrow if I can manage it. I need to arrange an excuse to be out there. Fact is no one except Aes Sedai on specific business from the Amyrlin leave the Tower. No Accepted will get that opportunity."

"Use the other Hunters" suggested Dirk quickly. "That is what they are there for. Several of them are Sitters. Tell them to cover for you without being specific. They will not press deeply unless they think there is something to find, in any event you have power over them. You know their secrets and you can do violence with the power. The laws of the Tower protect you and their secrets leave them very vulnerable. Should they cause trouble apply that knowledge as leverage to get what you want. They can cover your absence, no one will care, there is too much afoot."

Kea stared at the Warder as he stopped speaking and dried his shoulders with a towel. He then began to pull on his shirt as if nothing was more normal than threatening Aes Sedai and plotting blackmail to get what you wanted.

"They are our allies Dirk. I am sure if I explain they will understand. At worst some of them will want to come with us and I don't think that would be such a bad thing. I do not want to betray their trust," she finished hurriedly. She had of course done exactly that when she had forced Revoir to tell her how to remove Dirk's block and then to cover up for her. But she didn't want to concentrate or dwell on that for long. Her conscience it turned out was still quite tender, and sharp!

"As you wish," Dirk acquiesced, "but there is something else."

"Yes?"

"If I am to be of best help I need to be your Warder."

"Oh…" she was silence. She wanted him to be her Warder, or at least she had. That had been her plan from the moment she had discussed Warders with Kera Sedai. But did she still want that? Was she worthy of it? Could she bear it if some else did?

"Yes, I will heal faster, be quicker stronger and able to benefit more from your channelling as your Warder. Our communication will be heightened and we will never lose each other, for instance on the rocky heights of Dragonmount. So if possible you need to be raised so that can be done. Indeed it may need to be done raised or not, it will make that much of a difference."

"Right," Kea managed to say. "I will go and sort everything out. You quietly get our horses ready and some provisions if you can."

"I can," he replied and left instantly without a mention or wave of farewell. He moved with speed and determination but his face was passive and empty. Did she want him like this? Could she refuse him, when it was she who had made him like this?

She swiftly went to find Pevara. She saw Saerin but did not stop. She knew that all of the true Aes Sedai would be disappointed in her right now, but Saerin was more likely to read her a lecture, Pevara would give an exasperated glance and then act. Action was what she needed. She found her without trouble; Pevara was often seen now talking to several Sisters, especially other Sitters. The Red Sisters had become a kind of nucleus for a debate that was not supposed to be spoken of outside of the Hall but certainly was rumoured everywhere from the Novices quarters to the Amyrlin's office: The rumour that the Red would bond men who could channel as their Warders. As enticing as that rumour was Kea had no time for it today. Pevara upon seeing her began to politely disentangle herself from the two Sisters currently trying to wheedle information from her. Inwardly Kea gave herself a congratulatory pat on the back for choosing Pevara. It would not be pleasant maybe but at least this way something would get done. The Red did not walk over to her but with her eyes showed Kea that she had marked her and then walked smoothly away. Kea followed and after descending a flight of stairs found herself in what appeared to be a Novice classroom. Pevara was waiting just within the door.

Kea made to weave a Ward against eavesdropping but Pevara made a motion of dismissal. "No Child, not wise. No one cares to notice we are together; bigger things by far are afoot. What you and I need to do is simply not spoil our wonderful hiding place –in plain sight- by channelling." Kea nodded, immediately seeing the wisdom in the Sitter's words.

"You have not come here to shoot the wind with me Child I am sure" remarked Pevara and paused to allow Kea to speak.

For a moment she could not, she did not want to reveal the extent of her folly but she needed the Aes Sedai to know her plans. She carefully considered her words and then spoke.

"I was able to discover the manner of using the ter'angreal, the Circlet of Memory. I am afraid I was so enthused I went ahead and with Dirk's permission I used it on him immediately." Pevara held herself still; her face did not even register a scowl for which Kea was grateful, once again she was glad she had chosen Pevara, rather than Saerin or Yukiri Sedai.

"I was incredibly fortunate. My surmise was correct and I was able to fully restore all of Dirk Gaidin's memories."

"Shouldn't you call him Kye Gaidin child? After all he has been Kye a lot longer than he has been Dirk."

"I…" Kea had no answer so she simply pressed on instead. "Well he knows where the Eye of Loyalty ter'angreal is. I did not want o make the mistake of running off without an Aes Sedai knowing and helping me cover my tracks. It just occurred to me that there are so few people we can trust and of them only I am easily missed. I do not think there will be much danger, but I do know secrecy will be crucial. Please Aes Sedai; let this prepare me for my own raising to the shawl."

"You have proven yourself more impulsive than I would have first thought child. Still I would not quibble at sending you into danger. You have had that all your life and are in more danger within these walls than without truth be told. You would have made a good Red. You are prepared to stand boldly and alone and carry within you a fighting spirit, unfortunate really."

Kea could not resist. "I have not actually put on the shawl yet Pevara Sedai."

"True but it is rare for a woman who loves a man, even in pain to choose the Red. Not impossible, indeed a woman who is spurned can find solace in the Red Ajah that seems lacking in the others. But you Kea have rejoiced in this man. You have shared with him things you have shared with no other; opened your heart and mind to him as you have not to any other soul in this Tower. You have not formed any friendships either among the Novices or the Accepted. Even among we few we are not friends simply work colleagues or fellow soldiers. Only this man has got beneath your skin, only he is truly important to you. No one can survive alone and without him you would be alone. No Red can so be."

Kea only nodded, she could not make herself agree aloud it was too painful. For now she was alone and worse, she had done it to herself. "Go and retrieve the Eye, I will leave the impression you are working with me to prepare for your raising to the Shawl. In a way you are and that will help. But Kea, beware your impatience in these things of grave importance, selfishness leads to sorrow. The Dark One has us marked out for enough of that without our help, I assure you!" After a quick curtsey she turned and in a swish of a multicoloured hem she left to complete her own preparations.

They used a boat to get out beyond the range of the siege. Once far enough down river they disembarked with their horses and cut west to Dragonmount. Directions were not a problem; it stood oddly out of the plain like a pillar would in a market square. She had never really wondered enough to ask why this mountain was not in a range of mountains as was common, but just here and huge. She asked Dirk but he just replied that he did not know. That was the way of their conversations for the next day. She would bring something up and he would give short clear answers and return to silence. He spent his time in constant vigilance, never allowing himself to be distracted from the road for more than a moment. As they got further from the river, they increased the pace of the horses. Kea found herself longing for the journey to be over. She did not know how to ask Dirk what had changed didn't know whether she should even call him Dirk any more. But she did not want to use Kye… it would just sound like she was speaking to a stranger, but then again, maybe she was.

A long silent day of travel later they were mounting the foot of Dragonmount. She had thought the mountain impressive at a distance. Close up it was magestic and frankly daunting. It towered above them pristine and untouchable, frankly it appeared unconquerable. The man she had called Dirk Steadysteel did not even paused to look up. He just urged his horse into a fresh push. As they rose up the mountainside, the sun set on the other side of it. In the shadow of the mountain things seemed to darken much more quickly and she asked if they could stop.

"I am not confident in my riding in this light. If one of the horses throws a shoe or I take a bad fall it will slow us down too much."

That was reasoning the ex-Warder understood. He quickly guided her to a sheltered overhang and they made a small fire, the tiniest weave made such things very easy. Using a touch of Air and Water she warded their camp against what looked like oncoming rain, perhaps sleet if it turned much colder. With an inflection of Spirit she also Warded them against shadowspawn. Battle weaves, even after having been with the Aes Sedai these past months she was still most at ease with combat weaves, she doubted that would ever changed. You can take the a'dam off the damane but can you ever stop her being damane? She looked at Dirk. He had set her free, he was the same man, he just had a history, one he had not had to deal with when he met her but had to deal with now. Surly that didn't change who he was what he was capable of. She gathered her courage. How could she be Aes Sedai and defeat the Black Ajah unless she had the courage to confront this problem.

"Dirk… can I still call you Dirk? Should I?" Ha let him try to avoid that!

"Call me what you wish Accepted," he replied apparently interested in something beyond her line of sight. She embraced the Power and almost gave him a swat of Air in her frustration.

"Well I do not want to be called Accepted!" she hurled at his profile.

He turned his head but not his body to face her. "Very well, but it is not normal to call you Kea Sedai when you have not yet earned that title. You will do so soon enough and will relish it more if you wait until that time to use that appellation."

"Stop it Dirk!" she shouted. "Stop it! You know I mean, I want you to use my name. Call me Kea! We're friends, remember? You say you remember everything you did like it was last week; well don't you remember the last six months?"

"Of course I do. I have said as much; Kea."

His use of her name calmed her slightly and she was glad of it because her shouting had left her feeling like she was about to cry. This was emotional enough without tears.

"Then why are you so cold? Why don't you talk to me for hours like you used to? Why are you not interested in me and what I do any more? Why are you acting like I am your captain, instead of your friend? Don't you remember what I did for you? What you have done for me? Doesn't it count any more?"

He turned his head from her and even his body seemed to edge slightly left so that his back was facing her. After a moment of silence he seemed to gather himself and he turned back to look at her across the fire.

"You may call me Dirk, but you don't really know Kye. We are strangers really, because we never actually met till a couple of days past. Let me explain clearly so that there is no misunderstanding, Kea." He bit off the final word with a sharpness that made her wish she had not asked him to use it. For the first time she thought she heard some emotion is his voice and saw it in his face, more than a touch of anger and maybe resentment.

"I did be born in Illian and I was born to be sailor or soldier, I chose the latter. I did do well as a soldier, followed orders and killed people. Do I feel and have friends yes, lots and lots of them, most are dead, many from battle and some from age and disease, that do be life. While I was fighting a war an Aes Sedai called Nevir did find me, she saw what I could do, so she up and introduced to me the idea of becoming her Warder. It did be very clear exactly what she expected of a Warder, her last had died only a year before. I felt I could provide that and I did leave the Companions and she bonded me. It was as hard and as rewarding as she did say."

Dirk's face had taken on a wistful look; he was no longer locking gazes with her. He was far away imagining another woman, one with whom he had been happy and strong; one, who had not caused him to resent her.

"We did go through the Dark One's shadow a few times. She was totally bound to the idea of discovering a way to openly expose the Dark One's servants. She explained that if the Oaths of the Aes Sedai could cause a distinct and tangible difference then such a thing must be traceable and in some ways visible. Ter'angreal have every purpose under the sun and she was convinced it wasn't a matter of inventing the way so much as rediscovering it. I believed her and over the years we became quite a team. She had the knowledge of over two hundred years of study and I had my sword arm and my survival skills to help her. I kept her alive until she accomplished what we set out to do. We found out what would allow us to expose the Black Ajah. We returned with it, but then before she could get the other Sisters to listen to an old not very powerful Brown, who had been out collecting samples for too long, the Black killed her. They did so very cleverly, I never could discover how, she seemed to die in her sleep, but I had heard her scream to me through the bond before she died. But there was no mark on her when the Aes Sedai rushed to her room with me. My idea of her call was dismissed as a delusion caused by the pain of the bond being severed. I was determined to get my vengeance so I went to retrieve the Eye and then kill anyone who had an Oath to the Dark. I was stopped and I was in such pain I killed the people who tried to stop me even unsure that they were Black. I had no time for laws, rules and quibbles it hurt too much. Unfortunately the Aes Sedai didn't see it like that. If I had been Aes Sedai they'd have stilled me, if I had been a regular murderer, they'd have executed me, but because I was a grieving Warder and Revoir promised a way out they took it."

He stared now directly into Kea's Seanchan eyes. "That do be who I am, do you recognise me? If someone do get in my way they die. If I do suspect someone do be Black Ajah, they die. I feel pain and people die. I am a very good Warder, don't worry about that, what Nevir taught me, she did teach me well. I hate the Shadow and I follow orders. But in the end I took the Warder bond to make me a better killer and it worked! I am hurting now as I did never hurt in all my life, because I now hate what I do be, but I cannot erase that. It do not be a past, all separate that I can change and move away from, it do be who I still am. We are going to go, get the Eye of Loyalty and with the Light as my witness we will return and wreak a bloodbath in the White Tower. I want to do that, I'll relish in it; they deserve it! You will pass the test to become Aes Sedai; you are as strong as the Amyrlin Seat and do have come through more than she. The moment you do you will bond me your Warder and I will make sure you are never even close to harm. You will walk through a fire untouched by heat and throw a storm of arrows without a scratch. I will do it right this time. My life _before_yours. Do you see now why we are not friends Kea Sedai? Warders are many things but they are not friends. Allies, guardians, bodyguards, servants and yes even lovers but not friends!"

As he spoke real passion resounded in his voice. Even as he flung her efforts in her face he showed that there was something underneath this cold and hard man who had been remembered out of the band of dull steel. She felt rebuked and new he was pushing her away, but to her this was hope. He was angry, hated this new him, just like she did. He felt guilty for being this person because he had become someone else without realising. He was not angry with her as much as himself. Though he did not know it she was incredibly aware of the scrap of paper, with a few scribbled lines in Dirk's hand, residing in an inner pocket of her dress._ No matter the cost! I trust you with my mind and my heart. My life before yours!_ He had mentioned those words that meant somewhere inside all this shouting and anger he expected her to remember them too. His heart and his mind he had offered as the cost of his trust in her. She had given him back his mind and seemed to have lost his heart. But yet he was determined to put his life before hers and die in her service destroying the Black Ajah. There was still hope that in the midst of that she could reclaim the Dirk from within the sheath of Kye.

"Thank you for telling me how you feel. I understand much better, though not completely. I don't think anyone can unless it happens to them. Shall we think on it?"

Dirk stared at her and then to her shock, surprise and relief he laughed. It was not the carefree and jolly laughter they had shared after a joke on the road. Indeed it had a self deprecating edge to it but still it was laughter. "You do be strong Kea, and test or not, oath or not, you do be Aes Sedai. Aye, let's think on it."

Not long after that Kea slept, her mind racing with plans not of what to do with the Eye of Loyalty but of what to do with Dirk Steadysteel.

She didn't know what exactly woke her. It was as if her dreams just drifted into a kind of reality for a moment. She was dreaming of an old woman dressed in a long brown travelling cloak singing to Dirk and he was walking towards her as if expecting her to embrace him or even kiss him. Then it was night atop Dragonmount and she could see Dirk standing up and moving further and further from her. Her Wards were flickering in warning. In an instant she was awake and on her feet. She shouted his name but he did not turn and she thought she heard in the back of her head some kind of odd soothing singing. Remembering the dream she covered her own ears. Then weaving frantically she placed a globe of air and spirit around her head to shut out the sound. Thus protected she went in search of her Gaidin. She saw him walking slowly further and further from her, picking up speed as he went. At first she thought he was headed for their horses until she saw both unhappy animals dead, husks of lifeless flesh slumped where she had left them beyond the protection of her Ward. A foolish mistake that, one she would not repeat.

Dirk was still walking numbly towards where the mounts lay, presumably to meet the same fate as they. Not if she could prevent it. She rushed towards him cutting the distance between them and embracing as much of the Power as she could hold letting it sweep into her like all the wind in the trees and every drop of fire contained in the blazing sun. Saidar coursing through her, her eyes became light and she saw it a black winged creature crouching near the edge of the rocks. She did not hesitate, fire and air came together and with a clap of thunder a bolt of lightning rent the air and the creature exploded as did the rock on which it had sat. She hurried to Dirk's side to ensure he was okay but to her horror he continued. She realised their still must be more singing, but she could not see them. Still when Dirk got to them she would be able to and then she could kill them. However even as she thought this she saw him attempt to walk over the edge of the mountain where there was a cliff drop the height of the White Tower. She tried to hold him but he was too strong. She needed to get through to him, she couldn't hold him. Without consciously realising what she was doing she weaved what she had to, to save his life. Nothing mattered but that she save him. He could not die, not yet, not until she saw him smile at her, not until she had kissed him just once.

The weave landed and she felt the connection immediately, his presence in her mind and her in his. His awareness changed and in that moment he was free of the pull of this seductive singing. She was hurled from her feet as three of the dark winged creatures sprang from the shadows of the cliff face. Their wings buffeted her and she almost fell. Put a hand was around her arm and she did not falter. With him there and bonded to her she felt invincible. His pure energy was suddenly available to her, his vitality and awareness, all at her command. "Protect me!" she shouted unnecessarily, because somehow she knew beyond any doubt that, her safety was the only thing in his mind at that moment. His sword sung the forms as it whirled overhead forming a barrier of steel against their air borne attackers.

She let her weave drop and instantly was exposed to hideous screeches and the sound of rain and wind hammering the cliff side. "To the Dark one with all of you!" she screamed into the wind. Saidar pumping through her veins she unleashed it fire blossomed in rings around her prey and lightning struck around them. Arrows of air flew from her fingers smashing into her assailants forcing them to retreat and make acrobatic swoops to simply remain airborne. They were incapable of meeting such an onslaught. Each made a different mistake one avoiding the arrows of air dove into an expanding ring of fire. Another dove cleverly through the middle of a ring of fire and swerved around the arrows of air also. Even as the Draghkar was crowing its delight it slammed into the side of Dragonmount and found it as unyielding as its namesake. The other avoided the Saidar power attacks by flying headlong at Kea herself, knowing she could not use explosions of fire too close. Dirk was more than prepared. It took two cuts one sheering through a wing and the other a nasty backward slice across its back to bring it tumbling to the mountainside. Once down Dirk did not hesitate. He moved over it and beheaded it cleanly.

Kea collapsed into a sitting position wet, cold and utterly exhausted. Dirk moved over to her, his face showing a blessed amount of concern. It was enough to make her smile and forget her tiredness. If this small fight brought them together like this, what would the destruction of the Black Ajah do? Dirk may have given up on their friendship be she had not.

"I am fine, I am not wounded just exhausted," she managed to gasp. "I have not channelled so much power in so short a time before." Dirk nodded his understanding and turned to stand up; with a hellish scream another winged creature hurled itself at Kea's prone form. Dirk predictably lunged and seized its wings in his hands kicking against its legs with his. The creature bore him down and moved his jaws over his face as if giving him a macabre kiss. Kea remembered suddenly what she had heard about Draghkar in one session with Yukiri. She had nothing to draw on, no will left to weave Saidar and her physical strength was spent. Until suddenly she realised she had a reserve. Dirk while tired from the battle and lack of sleep was far from spent. Pulling on his strength she pushed herself to her feet and launched herself bodily at the Draghkar. Her body hit the creature at velocity and its mouth was ripped away from Dirks. Together they tumbled down the sloping side of Dragonmount, every roll bringing a jarring impact. Luckily a bush broke their fall before they had gone far. Unluckily Kea found herself trapped beneath the creature and not strong enough to force it off. It held her trapped helpless beneath its body as it began to sing and lowered its jaws to kiss her into soulless oblivion.

"The Bees and Illian!" came a roar and the creature disappeared. Kea blinked and looked around then saw its top half sailing away in the wind its twitching legs being slashed to ribbons by a frantic Dirk.

"Stop Dirk, I'm alive, I'm alive!" she called over the wind.

"Light woman!" he yelled back. "Do you think I could be your Warder and not know you were alive? You think I'd settle for this if you were dead?"

Flinging his sword to the floor he stormed over to her his face a mask of fury. Upon reaching her he seized both her upper arms and lifted her from the floor till she was eye to eyes with him. Then he shook her bodily. "I am your Warder Aes Sedai. No don't you dare interrupt me now, blood and bloody ashes, you do listen to me now! My life before yours, understand. Don't you ever do something so foolish, as throw yourself at one of my attackers again! Do you understand me?"

Kea went from a moment of real fear to holding back a smile and a laugh. She guessed that either reaction could prove costly to her in the long run. She could feel his emotions pumping through her like a living storm, not at all like the beauty of Saidar at all. But all the same it was ecstasy to her. His feelings were all for her, he was terrified of losing her; she could feel it he didn't have to say it.

Summoning all her Aes Sedai calm she replied in as level a tone as she could summon. "I understand Gaidin!" That had the required effect. The choice of words and the tone quickly set him back from making demands to looking a little sheepish. He released her as if he had been stung by a biteme. "Sorry Aes Sedai, but it was important."

"Thank you for saving my life, Dirk Gaidin," Kea continued all but ignoring his last actions and words. He gazed at her a little stunned it seemed. He then turned and picked up his sword and cleaning it on his clothes. Coming to stand before her he dropped to one knee. "Others have my allegiance in part, Illian, Nevir Sedai, the Light itself, but I am sworn and bonded to you and you alone in full, Aes Sedai. I am your sword and your shield. If you needed to pass any test I think you just did. Thank you for saving my life, Kea Sedai."

"The pleasure was mine."


	23. Chp 23: Loyalties

Note: The character Dirk's real name is Kye. So either appellation refers to him.

Disclaimer: All profits to RJ, the man, the Legend.

**Chapter 23: Loyalties**

"This be it," he said simply. They were stood a good way up the side of Dragonmount itself. If Kea looked over her shoulder she could see the rivers and the isle of Tar Valon gleaming like a jewel dangling on a sparkling necklace. The White Tower rose from its very centre seeming to point an accusing finger at her, a finger of warning and caution. What she did here, what she was doing, would change things forever.

She could see the flows and she began to act. Few things are quicker than a shouted warning. A look is quicker than a shout and a thought is quicker than a look. Weaving the Power took only a thought and sometimes even less than that for Kea who had grown up with it. Still the urgency of her Warder's fear screamed at her through the bond with such vehemence and speed she was able to pull back from weaving before she targeted it.

"Do not Aes Sedai! I cannot see the flows but I know Nevir Sedai set traps around them. She did know full well what that the Black Ajah would fear the Eye, she feared them finding this place. So it do seem a simple weave, but a much more cunning one is hidden within it. She says it is impossible to make weaves invisible so you need to hide them inside others. I only hope you can discover her trick without killing yourself. She did not ever tell me in case I was tortured into revealing the information."

Dirk shrugged and then laughed bitterly. "I would not have understood even if she had tried to explain."

Kea could see the weaves now lots of earth, layered with water and sealed in a simple globe of fire and air. It seemed a simple enough matter to pop that bubble and then pull the object to the surface. The weaves of earth and water seemed simply to work as a barrier against erosion. But with her Warder's warning in mind she looked deeper. She did so carefully, as she would when she read the roots of some ancient crafted pot or building. There it was she thought, after almost fifteen minutes of searching. It was the tiniest trickle of spirit, hidden within the guards against erosion. It was in reality a trigger and one that would cause the weaves to collapse as if they had been picked apart. The resulting explosion while not enough to level the mighty Dragonmount would certainly dispose of any would-be thieves.

Dirk just watched on not able to see what Kea was doing but able to feel her immense concentration, her elation and then her determination. His pulse quickened along with hers as she carefully unpicked the infinitesimal weave of spirit, disarming the trap. He could not follow what she was doing but he knew from the feelings in the bond that if they were going to die it was going to be any second. However as she straightened her back she smiled and bid him with a wave of her hand, to behold her success.

It rose out of the ground like an air tight box might rise to the top of a lake after it had been thrown in. It seemed to rise and bobble atop liquid-like ground. Then the ground returned to a state of solidity and it was there, exactly as he had left it.

"Careful, there is a mundane trap as well, to catch out those who might be a little too clever with the Power."

Bending low over the box's catch he removed the pin-latch by pushing it away from the box and then sliding it free without any part of it touching the lock. Then stepping behind the box he motioned Kea to follow him, he opened the chest. Blade like darts sprang from the box where they would have struck anyone peering into it full in the face.

"You took no chances did you?" asked Kea.

"No we did not," replied Dirk.

"I will pick up the Eye from within the box; she may have left a final defence."

"I can't see any weaves," disagreed Kea.

"Just because she told me that such a thing as an invisible weave was impossible does not mean it was. Indeed it does not even mean that she herself was not capable. An Aes Sedai keeps her own counsel in such matters. You will wait until it is clearly safe."

He moved around the box and reached within it. From the depths of the wooden container he pulled out the odd visor shaped ter'angreal. She knew what it was from reading Kye's Roots: First through his key, then his sword and finally his cloak. She knew it but at the same time knew nothing about it. Why had they in the Age of Legends made such a thing? How was it used? What would it show? And how? So much of what she hoped to do rested on this object and really she knew nothing of how to use to do what she desired.

"So," she inquired as he handed it to her. "This is it?"

"Yes" he replied simply.

It was a fairly simple visor of metal. Like a U letter in shape but made to fit over a person's eyes with each end of the U resting on an ear. In the curved edge a line of blue quartz like stone which presumably was what one looked through. It was a single eye, an eye of loyalty.

"How does it work?" she asked. They were already leaving down the mountainside. The attack previously had shown they were not safe here. They needed to get within the Tower. Still considering what they carried that might well be less safe than here. Rather the Shadowspawn that you can see than the Black Ajah you cannot. But then again, with this ter'angreal, maybe they could see them?

"I am not sure. Nevir believed many ter'angreal worked without channelling in the Age of Legends. She thought this was one of them. However after we obtained it she reasoned that it did need a… what did be the word… a power-source. Apparently in the Age of Legends they could generate the Power more easily or store it or something."

As the journey continued Kea concentrated on learning how to activate the Visor. The fact was, Dirk, or Kye as he was now, never spoke, unless she asked him something or he believed them in danger. That situation really lent itself to this kind of solitary study. The Eye reacted to different flows she directed against it. But it wasn't till she put it on and directed _saidar_ into it rather than against it that she had any real success.

It was Spirit that did the trick. As the flows worked their way into and through the visor, it seemed to store and concentrate them in the quartz so that she was looking through the flows of _saidar_. With only her Warder to look at she looked at him. He was alight, as if a flame. Lines and bonds crossed over him and surrounded him. One was covered with golden specks and as she concentrated intrigued she saw that within the swirls of power and colour they were stylised bees. She saw red and green lines around him and within them she could feel and sense his loyalty to her. As she dwelt on them she became sucked into their details. She forgot the outside world and her footing on the downward slope of the treacherous mountain. Instead her world was now the words of oaths he had made to her.

Words from their first meeting, "I will not leave you. Now can you just trust me? I trust you." The time his friend had come and wanted to kill her an invader, "I won't let you kill her. It would not be right."

_Oaths define us. They are what we stand for. People judge us by the fact we stand by our oaths._ These were words that echoed in his subconscious, words of his previous Aes Sedai. They applied to the oaths he had sworn to her. She remembered well when he had been prepared to fight a whole Seanchan patrol and probably die to avoid swearing an oath he would not keep. She had saved his life or he would have died for that loyalty to his homeland.

Then things that had happened much more recently a scrap of paper with some scribbled lines. '_No matter the cost! I trust you with my mind and my heart. My life before yours!'_ and then the words he had said as he became her Warder. "Others have my allegiance in part, Illian, Nevir Sedai, the Light itself, but I am sworn and bonded to you and you alone in full, Aes Sedai. I am your sword and your shield."

All that bonded into the lines of oaths and loyalty that bound him. She saw a haggard greyish line and realised that was what was left of his bond to Nevir Sedai, as harmful as it was enduring. Then she realised the source of the brightness a thin line that encircled him from head to foot of blindingly white light. It might have been fire but pure and clean. It was his loyalty and his oaths made under the Light and too the Light. So engrossed was she now that she barely felt herself fall. All she noticed was he was no longer in her view. The scrapes and bumps as her body fell down the mountainside were almost an annoyance from some other world rather than happening to her right now.

She felt herself tugged harshly to a dead stop. Dirk was above her holding her by shoulders of her dress. Swiftly he linked his arms under her shoulders and pulled her back onto a more secure part of the mountainside. The visor had slipped from her eyes but she was still caught in the colours, images, words and detail of it all.

"Truly we were nothing to the Aes Sedai of the Age of Legends" she breathed. "You will not believe what this can do." He only nodded in reply and busied himself tending a cut through a slash in the arm of her dress. It was minor, indeed so engrossed was she still that all the bruising she had sustained seemed of minute importance.

"I saw it all, every oath you ever made: Your loyalty to the Tower, to Nevir, to Illian, even to me." She finished the sentence almost in a whisper. "With this we can simply look and expose Black Ajah. Nevir was right; this is an incredibly potent weapon against them. No wonder they feared her and killed her for possessing it."

"As they will fear and try to kill you" said Kye. "Understand this I do not intend to lose another Aes Sedai. It should have killed me last time. It certainly will this time."

She looked over at him and caught his gaze directly for a moment. She realised that when she looked at him again that line of dark promise would be within his loyalty to her. She had not looked for it but it was there. Every oath and every loyalty it seemed could be misused and could cause harm, not just that of loyalty to the Dark One.

They reached the river and entered the boats with the Eye of Loyalty hidden within Kea's clothes. It would not do even for the ignorant to remark even accidentally to a darkfriend that such a strange item was headed for the White Tower. The boat set off once more heading for the half of the river not covered by the heart stone chain formed by Egwene Sedai, the now captive, rebel Amyrlin Seat. But things had changed they noticed. As the boat got to the more narrow area between the chain and the bank a large rock was hurled into the water and came within striking distance of the boat itself.

The Aes Sedai could not attack the ships as they would risk causing death to none Shadowspawn, but the armies of Garath Bryne had no such compunction. Some odd fixed contraptions had been set up and they were hurling large stones into the water in this narrow stretch. With the concentration of boats required to use this because of the harbour chains and the siege even without much ability to aim these would cause severe difficulty. Each ship sunk would cause obstacles for future boats making the entire journey more hazardous. It seemed the rebels were losing patience with the siege and had decided to step up their efforts.

Kea did not even think. She was in danger and so was her Warder. Lightning was formed and in a moment it rained down blowing the contraptions to splinters. Seconds later she realised in horror that the men who had been operating them were surely dead as well. It was just natural to defend herself she had not thought of the consequences of hurling the Power at them. On the deck the crew were looking at her with greatly varying expressions. Some showed open horror at as Aes Sedai openly using the Power as a weapon, though hopefully her banded dress would make sure they knew she operated without the oaths. Others gave her dark and gruff nods as if to say they deserved it and thanks for saving our lives. A variety of chuckles and scowls followed her as she made her way out from under their eyes, praising and accusing, and got below deck.

Her Warder followed her like a shadow. She did not need to turn to know he was there. But she was concerned for a second that she had not felt anything through the bond. She turned and looked at him. "I…" she began. But she had to stop firstly because she did not know how to explain or excuse what she had done and secondly because he plainly needed no explanation. She thought back to their first meeting when she had killed the Seanchan soldiers she held immobile with the Power and how Dirk had objected and argued that the Power wasn't for that. How she had changed. Now she truly believed she could be an Aes Sedai, a true servant to the people of the land. Use her amazing gift of touching Saidar to change hundreds and thousands of lives and best of all to fight evil wherever and whenever she found it. But he it seemed had changed to. There was no change in his expression or emotion. A slight flicker when they had come under attack and then back to normal when she had delt with it. Well not quite normal, there had been a flash of… satisfaction, as she had callously killed those men.

"Kye when we arrive in Tar Valon we will need a plan. We need to test the Eye. The Ajah of the Light know we went to get this ter'angreal and will want control of it as full Sisters."

"Tell them no. We can test it first on Revoir to see what the Oaths look like through it and then once we see a likely suspect through it take them and test them using the Oath Rod as you have all done before. Once we have that proof we proceed and take the lot. Once they see your success in battle they will stop trying to take your weapons. I know it has happened to me many times."

Cold impersonal facts. He was right. He held her and her abilities in great esteem. He certainly believed she was the one needed to defeat the Black Ajah, but she no longer seemed to be his friend. She was no longer something more and for that reason she felt tears well up inside her. Luckily a life as a damane teaches you not to show what you do not wish to. Even better, training in the Tower had built on those abilities and so when Kea wept it was soundless and dry. He was utterly loyal to her but he did not love her. She was no longer sure that he even liked her.


	24. Chp 24: Oaths Under the Shadow

Note: The character Dirk's real name is Kye. So either appellation refers to him.

I apologise for the amount of K names in this chapter.

Kea: - Damane turned Accepted, wanting to be Aes Sedai.

Kye: - Ex-Warder now a Warder again to Kea. Also known as Dirk.

Kera: - Aes Sedai of the Green Ajah also appears in Chapters 10-12.

Disclaimer: All profits to RJ, the man, the Legend.

**Chapter 24: Oaths under the Shadow**

Revoir was sat before them trembling. Six Aes Sedai, well five and one Accepted. But it was the Accepted Revoir most feared. She had taken no Oaths about the Power and she had been brought up as a enslaved weapon. Plus she was backed by Kye. Revoir knew Kye. She remembered him better than any for it had been she who had been the crux of the plot to remove his memories and ensure that no further attention was paid to Nevir Sedai's 'mad schemes'.

As she saw him stood behind Kea it was clear he was her Warder in reality in not in actual bond. He looked back at her, he hated her and he would gladly kill her. Not for taking or restoring his memories, either of which one could see as a reason for wanting to kill her. It was that he knew she had been loyal to the Dark One and that he must suspect that she had at least acquiesced if not directly assisted in the murder of Nevir Sedai. One minute of the two of them alone and one of them would be dead. She wanted to keep her full attention on him but her captors, her unwanted masters were demanding her attention.

"So then _Accepted,_" said Saerin, her voice emphasising the last word. "Show us this ter'angreal, you will not let out of your hands. I have a good mind to take it from you if you do not hurry."

"That would be unwise as I am most able in its use and I am not weak in the Power," replied Kea a little curtly. She was treading a fine line. She was not in a good mood, she needed the power of the shawl but her test seemed to be something you could not force the Aes Sedai to rush. But her disappointment with Kye and the way she was being treated as a child after having done all the work and having such great success was grating on her finally. They all proclaimed themselves aghast at the way the Seanchan enslaved their channellers but it seemed that was exactly what the Tower wanted to do to her. She was under no illusion that she would be her own master even after her raising to the shawl. But at least she would be able to look any Aes S3edai in the Eye. She was as strong as the Amyrlin Seat and once she wore the Shawl others would not be able to speak to her and ignore her as they wished to now. Saying she was not weak in the Power was as close as she dared come to hinting that she was the strongest in the Power in that room and that all assembled felt and knew it. She had channelled for as many years as most of them as well.

Without further discussion she retrieved the Eye of Loyalty from within her clothes. She channelled the weaves of Spirit into it to activate it and found there was still a residue from the time she had used it before. Seeing an opportunity she channelled a little more. When she wished weaves to stand for a longer duration she usually added some Earth and so she added just a sliver of Earth to the weave. It worked perfectly the visor retained the flows and she stopped channelling but the blue quartz continued to contain a slight glow deep within.

"Kye look through the Eye!" she commanded. He stepped forward and placing it over his eyes he looked at Revoir.

"Do you see her oaths?" asked Kea. "Her loyalties?"

"Yes, I think that is what they are. She has a black line that is severed and ragged. It seems tinged with fear and loathing. She has four clear bright bands around her chest over her heart. I imagine those do be her oaths on the oath rod yes? She has others but I do not be knowing what they all do mean. Those I said are the most clear by far."

"You see this ter'angreal isn't something only useable by Aes Sedai, nor does it detect only oaths and promises made with the Power but all loyalties. This is another reason I am reluctant to take it to the Hall untested, or simply to pass it round."

"But it must be tested of course," broke in Seaine. The White looked possativly delighted. "Don't you understand what you have done Kea. You have solved our greatest problem. We were set to our task by Elaida, or so we thought."

"So you thought?" asked Kea confused.

"Yes the Amyrlin Seat asked me to root out treachery and I thought she was asking me to look for and expose and finally extinguish the Black Ajah. It is a long story but first Pevara and then the other three Sisters you see before you became involved in that hunt. We used the Oath rod and discovered not only Black Ajah but on the way, spies sent by the rebels. Indeed we discovered enough that we thought to approach Elaida with our findings as one of the few Sisters we knew was not Black Ajah. However that changed when we discovered that she had meant to set me to discovering treachery from Alviarin. The story between the two of them is still unclear. But Alviarin seemed to have power over Elaida and then that suddenly went during an absence from the Tower. She was removed as Keeper and another put in her place. Now she is nothing in the Tower. So then we were back to the beginning. Elaida had not set me to the hunt for the Black Ajah, so she could indeed be one herself."

Seaine sighed, "We had so looked forward to having this out in the open. But if this truly works…" she held out a hand. Into it, after receiving a nod from Kea, Kye placed the Eye of Loyalty.

Without channelling she raised it to her eyes and looked through it at all of them. She stared unspeaking for several minutes. When she lowered it her eyes were surprisingly wet with tears.

"This is the most amazing thing I have ever seen or felt done with the Power. I can see your loyalty to me and to the Light. Your oaths shine off you. It's amazing, you must all see."

After that there was nothing for it but for each to try. Even Revoir, though she didn't have the gall to dare ask, also looked longingly at the ter'angreal.

"A test then on someone who has not yet broken her oaths to the Dark One to make sure we know what they look like. Then we can finally act!" said Pevara. Her face was alight not with sentimental emotion as had been Searine but with determination and the flush of anticipated victory.

It was swiftly decided. Revoir was forbidden to even use the words Eye of Loyalty and to discuss anything that might be about or include anything to do with it. It was decided that for her efforts and partly due to her vehemence that Kea could use the visor to locate the next victim.

"As an Accepted less people watch me," she added, wanting to strengthen her cause and make the others feel like they had made this decision as they had all the others. They agreed but not with words. She received gruff nods and accepting blinks, no more.

"Come Kye," she ordered the moment the Eye was in her hands. "Let's go hunting. Sadly, I do not think this will take long."

Sadly that prediction proved to be all too true. They were no sooner out of the lower levels than they saw several Aes Sedai travelling in a group. That was not unusual. Amid the suspicion and disarray of the White Tower the Sisters often travelled in groups and only with Sisters of their own Ajah. This group were Greens the Ajah Kea hoped to join herself. Almost involuntarily she raised the Visor to her Eyes.

It was different, looking at an entire group of Aes Sedai, with their long histories and twisted loyalties, to looking only at Kye or helpless Revoir. The loyalties of all those women, to men, countries, each other, Ajah, friends, Warders and more were truly blinding. However it was remarkably easy to see their Power-bound Oaths. They were settled into their very skin, their being. Round each one, centred on her heart were three white-gold rings. The Oaths of the Aes Sedai, to tell no word that is not true, never to use the Power to make a weapon for one man to kill another and not to use the Power as a weapon, save against Shadowspawn and in the last defence of her life or that of her Warder. They were the first and easiest thing to see and understand. So much so that even Kye had not been able to mistake them for anything else. But one of the group, lacked them, or rather they were horribly altered.

She had far less oaths Kea saw as she continued to study her, far less loyalties. Her loyalties seemed close to her and indeed focused on her one true loyalty. She was extremely loyal to herself. Still round her heart were three Black rings of utter darkness. They were shadows so thick they covered and destroyed any other oaths she had made. Even the lines that showed her Warder's bonds were over taken and cast in shadow by these bands of blackness. Kea felt sick looking at them. Under them she imagined she could see the tatters of their former oaths and loyalties to the Tower and the Light. These new ones stood like a victorious murderer dancing on the tombs of the fallen.

What was worse or perhaps fortunate was that she knew the Sister. Kera Sedai. One of the first two Aes Sedai she had ever met. The one, who had lost a Warder and spoke to her so passionately about it, indeed had convinced her she wanted a Warder herself. It had been her Warder that had died to save them from the Greyman, a servant of the Dark One. It made no sense that she be Black Ajah. How could she be so kind and Black Ajah? How could she be Black Ajah and yet lose a Warder to shadowspawn? But the visor was clear. This was after all why it needed testing, so that if Aes Sedai like Kera were not guilty.

She curtseyed as the Aes Sedai passed and then with a heavy heart went straight back to find the others. She could not do this alone.

This was by far the craziest thing she had ever done. Kea was walking between two green-shawled Aes Sedai. That might not have been too crazy but it got worse once you realised that both of them were 'ferrets' spies sent by the rebels to infiltrate the Tower Aes Sedai and spread dissent against Elaida making ready for a reunion under victorious rebels. They had been betrayed by one of their own, as the Hunters had thought her suspicious activity made her a prime candidate for the Black Ajah. Each had been brought in and made to swear loyalty, to the five Sisters Kea was working with. There had been two in each Ajah and these were the two Greens. The plan was simple. She, Kea, in preparation for being raised to the shawl wanted to practise with full Aes Sedai. It was well known that an Illianer man followed her around like a Warder already, so many saw her as headed for the Green. Indeed she had even said as much, to some Aes Sedai, who had hinted she might want to join one Ajah or another.

It was a very popular choice with the Green as she was very strong and was good at toeing the line and keeping the rules. It was clear she would go very far and she would be the first of her people to become Aes Sedai. Using this special liking for herself, the fact she had two Aes Sedai in the Ajah who _had_ to help her and the Ajahs' suspicions of each other she had been given admittance, late at night, into the corridors that housed the sleeping rooms of the Green Ajah.

They were going to abduct an Aes Sedai, and one they believed was Black Ajah, but they were still not sure. What if they were wrong? Half of her was still hoping they would be. After all this was only a test. Oh but it would be awful if they were wrong, how would they ever explain it? But at the same time how wonderful to know Kera Sedai walked in the Light! Kye bumped into her back as she stopped walking. He moved so quietly sometimes she forgot he was there. Having him accompany her had not been challenged. In any other quarters it may well have been, but a Warder was as much a part of the Green's way of life as planting or animals were to the farmer's. He had passed almost without comment.

They arrived at her door and Kea pretended she had to adjust her shoe as they were still other women in the corridor. She could not make out their faces but no one could be allowed to see what would take place here in but a single moment. Once the way was clear she looked at both the others.

"Remember this is not about the split, or about me forcing you to do something. This woman is almost certainly Black Ajah." Oh but she hoped not, yet she knew her tone must be clear firm, she must leave no doubt.

"Rebels or not, I met your Amyrlin Egwene and she was not buckle here. What we are going to do might sound crazy but we have to. We are saving the Tower and only with the Tower pure can we save the rest of the world. Are you with me?"

They nodded, "Then form a circle, I will be leading." She had been taught about forming circles by Pevara and Saerin deciding she would need the information almost as soon as they had joined her to them. It was a little like what she had done in her damane days so after a moment of initial confusion she had found herself quite adapt at it. She weaved a Ward around the room which would block all sound motioned to the door and went.

The door was unlocked but it had apparently been Warded because their immediately began a whining sound and their was a burst of bright energy. Kea fell to the floor but held the circle together with gritted teeth.

Kera Sedai was stumbling from her bed her legs still tangled in her bed clothes. Her hands hit the ground first as she wriggled free slithering across the floor and loose. Pulling herself up swearing loudly she reached for the One Source. "Block her!" shouted one of the others.

If Kera had not known she was under attack she knew it now. Rather than trying to cut them off from the source she simply tried to attack them. A shaft of baleful green-red fire shot from her hands and slammed into one of Kea companions, it was the one who had not shouted. She must have believed she had been leading the circle. The Accepted dress fooling her into believing it could not be the strongest that held the reigns.

Kea inhibitions dropped. She must be Black; that had been a killing weave. So thinking, she slammed the united strength of the circle into a sharp block. But Kera was awake and full of the Power. She was screaming at them, all her usual kind demeanour, her effortless charm and strength of body and character, were simply erased. She swore darkly and cursed them as she tried to summon up more killing weaves. Desperately Kea tried to cut her off from the source but without success. "Drop!" she yelled, grateful they had thought to Ward the room against sound. They would have had the whole Tower, if not the entire world in here by now, if they had not. Kye then calmly sliced through Kera's hamstring. With a shocked gasp she fell to the floor. She seemed in such pain and shock as to be unable to articulate it. So the room went from ringing with screams to utter silence in an instant. The block slammed into place. Then using another weave Kea put out the last of the fire on the hapless Green Sister. She was burnt badly, most of the right-hand side of her face was scorched black and her whole body seemed tinged red as if sore. Kea knew how bad she was at healing and passed the flows to the other Sister to administer to their fallen ally. Meanwhile she and Dirk moved over to inspect their fallen enemy.

Kera Sedai looked as if she had never experienced such pain before she held her leg at the wound, as if afraid it might tear loose of her body. She gasped quietly now. Tears were stinging her eyes, her movements had become as ragged as her breathing.

"Kera Sedai we are arresting you. If you are innocent you have nothing to fear but you will have to answer for what you have already done."

Kera spat in Kea's face in reply for which Kye struck her soundly once across the head. Her eyes rolled in her head but she remained conscious. "Aes Sedai, if indeed you are Aes Sedai," he said quietly, his voice sinister and deadly. "If you show disrespect to my Aes Sedai I will do all I can short of killing you to make you cease. Is that clear enough for you?"

"She is no Aes Sedai!" croaked the fallen Green-Black Sister.

Kye shrugged and before Kea could stop him he stabbed his dirk, that had appeared in his hand as if it had grown there, into the same wound his sword had made.

"You were warned," he reminded her acidly.

"Kye stop that!" snapped Kea shocked. "Watch the door instead."

"To Hear is to obey," he murmured. But even as he rose to do her biding he gave a dangerous glance to Kera which neither of the two women missed.

Kea two supporters came and stood either side of her. "Well Accepted we need you out of that dress if we are going to switch you two for the way out."

Kea nodded, it had been her own idea: Two Aes Sedai and an Accepted come in, two Aes Sedai and an Accepted leave. She would stay till morning and then leave in a servants dress. Kera looked as if she would cause some fuss, but when your hamstring is in pieces and the only people who can heal you have you cut off from all power and friends, your options are limited. In short she stripped and dressed as she was told to.

During this operation Kye without a word stepped from directly in front of the door to one side. An instant later the door burst open and Jerome burst into the room. Kera immediately shouted her commands. "Kill the one who is half dressed!"

Kea could not weave the flows but she had not yet received control back anyway. The other Aes Sedai hesitated which was almost fatal as Jerome did not hesitate at all, his blade went straight for Kea. It never landed. The uninjured Aes Sedai who had accompanied her threw herself bodily at the Warder. He shrugged her off and brought his sword around belatedly to slash down at Kea's head rather than run her through as he had first intended.

Steel that had held at Soremaine still held. Kye's sword slammed into the opposing Warder's blade. Kera shoved Kea to the floor and attacked the block with everything she had. The final Aes Sedai holding all of the power of the circle, stopped doing anything but maintaining that block.

Kye flung his shoulder into his swing and wrenched his sword up two handed. The swords went up and came apart Jerome immediately righted his stance but now Kye was between him and the Aes Sedai.

"Interesting that you didn't bring any help Gaidin," commented Kye. "Interesting that you do not shout for support from the surrounding rooms? Could it be you know what she is better than we do?"

As Kye wondered aloud Jerome attacked. He had fought Kye before and won and he believed he knew how to go about a sequel. He was wrong. Kye had had a chance during his time at the Tower to re-find his forms and his ability. His sword had never felt so at home in his hand. He remembered all his old fights and the wars duels and desperate battles he had fought in often against all odds. More than that he remembered what it was to be bonded again. He fought with the increased strength and stamina of a Warder. He was fighting to defend his Aes Sedai and that gave extra bite to every attack. Last time they had met it had been two on one and he had been sure the people he was fighting were not evil and did not deserve to be slain by him. Now he had no such belief no such qualm. A danger to his Aes Sedai died, no questions asked, none were needed. Jerome did not know what had hit him. A lot it seemed had changed since their last encounter.

Kye was blisteringly fast, his sword swung with savagery and his thrusts were more accurate than a needle and thread. His feet danced him out of trouble and charged him into his foe when he moved to the attack. "You think Hammar would be proud of training you for this? For the Dark One's work? You think me made oaths as you have?" Kye was not even aware that the scuffling behind him had stopped and that the three had succeeded against the one. Nor that Kea had donned the Eye of Loyalty. "He has sworn oaths to the Dark, Kye" she confirmed.

He was oddly irritated by this. After all he had just said as much and he had not needed a ter'angreal to know it. Some things were just instinct. Spinning he deliberately showed Jerome his back a target he knew he would not be able to give up. Then increasing the speed of his own spin he brought his blade back around quicker than his opponent could anticipate. Ramming his sword into his enemies he forced both blades up high into the air. Too late Jerome saw that Kye had only one hand on his blade's hilt and had used momentum rather than the strength of both arms to complete the manoeuvre. Looking down as he felt the wetness spreading he saw the dirk still grasped tightly in Kye's left hand, buried in his chest. "Go to your Master," mocked Kye mercilessly, "As you swore to do." He died.


	25. Chp 25: Purges

Note: The character Dirk's real name is Kye. So either appellation refers to him.

I apologise for the amount of K names in this chapter.

Kea: - Damane turned Accepted, wanting to be Aes Sedai.

Kye: - Ex-Warder now a Warder again to Kea. Also known as Dirk.

Kera: - Aes Sedai of the Green Ajah also appears in Chapters 10-12.

Disclaimer: All profits to RJ, the man, the Legend.

**Chapter 25: Purges**

The whole Hall was gathered. Apparently several sitters had applied pressure on their Ajahs and the Ajahs had informed the Amyrlin that they _were_ meeting. They were gathered and all in place long before Elaida arrived in the Hall. "She comes she comes…" the Keeper was saying, but none of the Aes Sedai were listening to the ritualistic phrases.

Every eye was on Kea Sedai, the most newly raised Sister in the Tower. Not a single eye missed her defiant stance, nor the slightly alien tilt of her eyes. Yet she withstood all there glares though she did not return them her eyes were fixed unwaveringly upon the Amyrlin Seat. Even though that most impressive and most uncomfortable of all seats was empty her gaze did not waver from it. Indeed for all intents and purposes the rest of the Hall could have been entirely devoid of life for all the attention that Kea Sedai paid to it. "The Flame of Tar Valon, The Amyrlin Seat!"

Elaida entered. She was keeping her features were schooled. After all to be virtually summoned or risk missing out totally on Tower-shaking events and all apparently at the behest of a girl who was yesterday an Accepted and a few short months ago not even in the Tower. Though that face was a serene Aes Sedai mask Kea could guess that this woman so accustomed to power and control would be simmering underneath. But this was the way it had to be. They could no longer strike from the Shadows. If they were discovered all there work could be undone and the Eye lost. They had to do a single instantaneous and major strike and now!

The Hall rose and acknowledged the presence of The Amyrlin Seat and after a surprisingly, but happily, brief introduction, Kea was given leave to speak.

"Sisters," she began. "Only yesterday I held in my hand the Oath Rod; the same that each of you have held and swore the oaths that make me an Aes Sedai, a servant of all. I swore to speak no word that was not true. I intend to hold to that though it cost me my freedom and my life. I am a servant and in serving I have found a ter'angreal."

So saying she produced from under her green-fringed shawl the Eye of Loyalty. She grabbed her courage in both hands. This had to be sudden it had to be brief. There was just no time, at any minute the Black Ajah could get wind of the plan and destroy everything. So here she went into the Grolm's maw!

"Mother," she declared, still staring straight at Elaida. "I know you of all people are determined to root out the disloyal. This ter'angreal allows one to determine the oaths and loyalties of those viewed through it. With it I have been able to identify Black Ajah in our midst."

There was a predictable out break of noise. Some were sharp gasps and protests that there was no such thing or that such a thing should not be spoken of. Others were out right cries for Kea to be silenced and removed from the Hall.

"Child," said Elaida and those who had been ignoring The Keeper's shouts for order, fell silent at Elaida's voice. "That is an unbelievable claim."

Kea without pause broke in as Elaida took breath as if she had assumed that the Amyrlin had finished. "I knew the Hall would see it as so and so I have brought proof. Kye!"

Then without warning her Warder marched into the Hall of the Tower, a man and he dragged with him a servant girl. But to the assembled Aes Sedai's horror, it was no servant girl but one of them. There could be no mistaking that ageless face. Before he had got to Kea, several flows brought and bound Kye, to stock still. Voices were raised in shrieking outrage. Kea used a flow of air to magnify her voice. "Kera," she stated flatly and without any mincing of her words. "Is Black Ajah!"

No one in that room could miss the absence of the honorific 'sedai'. "I will swear it on the oath rod and if you put it in her hands you will see she cannot deny it. If you do not believe me you are welcome to test it. Yet move quickly Elaida a'Roihan. You may yet be known as the Amyrlin Seat who united the Tower behind one leader and stamped out the Black Ajah from among them. But if you do not act quickly they will strike themselves and our chance to stab at this heart of darkness will be lost!"

"You are insane child!" shouted Duhara, a Red Sitter. "Throw her out of this Hall immediately.

"This should be sealed to the Hall!" screamed Suzana Dragand, a Yellow.

Elaida rose and using weaves of her own she raised her voice above them all and shouted once for silence. It didn't work this time and so Elaida slammed the doors of the Hall; that, got there attention and they waited to hear her words.

"Someone bring the Oath Rod, Tarna you."

The Keeper looked askance, for the Amyrlin never was in the Hall without her Keeper. But when Elaida moved on from her without so much as a pause she began to shuffle rather than walk from the Hall.

"You will I am afraid find yourself in penances up to your neck Child even if these insane accusations are true," she directed at Kea. "You had no right to attack and question an Aes Sedai, you should have come to me. Only I … and the Hall" she added as an after thought. "Have such authority."

"I acted with your authority," replied Kea and began praying to the light that those with more to lose than she would now speak up.

"Indeed she did Mother." It was Seaine who spoke now. "When you personally tasked me to discover traitors in our midst I did everything I could to do just that. We discovered several, and now with the aid of this ter'angreal we have discovered more including this wretch."

"Seaine!" uttered Elaida her voice starting loud but losing its strength somewhere in the middle of the word. Shock was openly etched on her face.

"Indeed Mother, I too have sinned, if these have." Now it was Pevara who stood. "I personally assisted in the capture of Talene Minly and Kera." The two Sitters either side of Pevara looked at her with open mouths. The assembled Aes Sedai listening in on the sitting were utterly silent now. Indeed had a mouse scuttled across the floor it would have sounded like an avalanche.

"I was there when Talene failed to swear she was not Black Ajah on the Oath Rod. I did not want to believe, but the Black is among us and we must fight it. Thank you Mother for putting us on the scent of the true split in the Tower, the truest danger!" declared Yukiri, also rising to her feet.

Talene was squirming in her chair unable to deny the charges, unable to act against the plans of the group due to the fact she had sworn to obey in all things on the oath rod. So, struggle as she might, she could not refuse. In the end, as Saerin stood and then Doesine rose as well, Talene could no longer bear it and stood to leave. Her fellow Sitters, who had looked outraged at first, now after her continued silence, pulled her firmly back to her seat.

The mood was different now, incredibly serious. This wasn't just some insane Accepted anymore. This was clearly no stunt or even political manoeuvre. Five Sitters now stood with Kea, that, gave her words the weight of the Hall in truth. Elaida was silenced too; no one seemed to know what to do.

In the silence Kea Placed the Eye of Loyalty over her own eyes. "Please release my Warder, I will need him and soon," she requested coolly. Then without speaking she surveyed the room and slowly but deliberately pointed at certain Sisters. The fact that neither she nor the others spoke made the accusation only the more poignant. She was a silent, steady, accusing finger of truth.

"Well what do we do with them?" asked Tarna breaking the silence.

Those words seemed to release some unseen cork. In an instant all hell broke lose inside the Hall. Suddenly twenty different Aes Sedai were striking out at their own Sisters. Killing weaves were flung across the room and chairs and seats were blasted into oblivion. Several ran for exits and no one except Kea was really sure who was Black and who was not. But now with her fellow hunters in a circle with her and the Eye of Loyalty in place she felt invincible. Directly around her Kye threatened and then slew any who would not retreat from him.

Lines of Power soared out from Kea as she cut Sisters from the One Source and incapacitated them. Warders soon began to appear in the room, summoned as if from thin air by the emotions and dangers that they felt through their Bonds: Chaos ruled.

Kye was ruthless in cutting down any and all opposition that approached his Aes Sedai. A servant, two Aes Sedai and more than one Warder lay at his feet when he shouted his challenge at a new arrival. Even upon seeing the face of Elaida he did not balk. Kea was now physically flanked by the other Black Ajah hunters and their Warders had joined Kye in guarding their mistresses. If a Black Sister was identified and nullified by the circle one of the Warders would leave the group retrieve her and pull her in. They made a neat pile, Talene and Kera huddled among them.

"Approach further and I will kill you," explained Kye sombrely. Elaida stopped, "Don't you recognise me?" she asked her voice deliberately outraged. "Yes I recognise you. But I do not know if you are Black," he responded levelly.

"She is not, she may approach Kye," said Kea.

Elaida did so but looked almost as affronted by Kea _allowing_ her to do anything as she had been by Kye's threat.

"All of you will be serving penances…" she began furiously.

She was cut off by an out break of laughter.

"We are sorry Elaida," managed Pevara the first to restrain her laughter. "Do you really think we fear penances? This is the unmasking of the Black, the entire Tower changes today! What will you be at the end of this? There are Black Sisters here who have already told us they knew of all your edicts before you made them. Heaven knows all the Sisters have seen your incompetence. Sorry Mother, but you have riven the Tower in two and as you are not Black you have been used as their puppet. I do not speak for the Hall, but you guess what they will say when the interrogations of these are finished: Your handling of the Dragon Reborn, your mismanagement of the Black Tower, your crazed edicts? That monstrosity you are building, with Tower money, to your own ego? Elaida, after the testimonies of the Black Ajah, you will be lucky to still be Aes Sedai, never mind Amyrlin. You are the only real sticking point that prevents the reunification of the Tower. Something that is even more urgent now than ever before! Now swallow your pride and act for the good of the Light and help us!"

Elaida was silenced. Kea was sure that had she presented the exact same arguments she would even now have been sent scurrying with a sharp retort and a few commands. Maybe it was Pevara's age, power or position as a Sitter, maybe. Still Kea thought the most important thing was the colour of the shawl draped around Pevara's shoulders. Elaida let her head duck slightly. In a much kinder tone Pevara continued. "At least you are fighting for the Light Elaida. We were all deceived. Who would have thought Galina could be one. But she was we have the witnesses who made such plans and oaths with her.

"I know you did not mean me to seek the Black Ajah out," broke in Seaine, "but I did not understand at the time. Still Elaida don't you see Alviarin must have been Black Ajah, that was why she was acting against you."

Kea was not aware of any of this as she concentrated on weaving flows, she was not good and non-violent weaves. She found it increasingly difficult to think of ways to disarm and cut off her opponents. Several times she was forced into using desperate shields of air or severing a weave just before it slew her. She was unused to needing to feel that her life was in mortal danger before she could attack. Even though now more than ever she knew she was. These were Shadowspawn as far as she was concerned. Occasionally when she could convince herself clearly that a Sister was attacking her and through the Eye she could see their oaths to the Dark one she lashed out with lethal force. That felt surprisingly good to her, in fact such delight did she take in one kill that she looked over to share a grin with Kye. That was what made her rethink. This was exactly the kind of thing Dirk would have abhorred and made her re think. He would have wanted to find another way. Would have argued that this was not what the One Power was for. After that she stopped looking for reasons to kill and tried to act as the other Aes Sedai, at least like those who were not in abject flight.

"The Tower must be united. Blood and bloody ashes, where is the al'Vere girl?"

Kea did not realise who had shouted the words but seconds later she saw the Amyrlin Seat stalk past her and out the doors. Groups of Aes Sedai were everywhere. Many had formed circles and all were accompanied now by their Warders if they had any. The Hall of the Tower was in broken pieces. Some of the different circles were approaching the untied Ajah of Light and asking for guidance and direction.

"Get some forkroot here!" shouted Yukiri. "You secure the block on this one, Camelie and Tiany, you keep the block up on this one. If no one has got the Oath Rod, go get it we will need it. You four are you a circle? Good then you go and protect the Store rooms they may strike at them trying to seize angreal!"

"Passing control and the Eye to Saerine," announced Kea, then suiting word to action. "Kye with me, protect the Amyrlin Seat as myself!"

So saying the two of them ran out after Elaida a'Roihan.

Elaida was a lot quicker than she looked. Kea had to run flat out to even get her in sight. "Don't wait for me!" she commanded unnecessarily, as Kye had already taken her previous command to heart and was pressing ahead. "I'll keep track through the bond, go go!"

So he left her and the break between them became more pronounced each second. Elaida had run from the entire Tower and was now leaving by the large front doors. The Tower was in uproar the news of what had passed in the Hall spreading like wild fire. There were skirmishes and bodies lying unattended on the floor and no one least of all Elaida or Kye spared even a moment to close deadened eyes.

Kye was focused this was the advantage of years as a soldier and Warder. Death did not faze him; death was his business, his skill, his gift. He made up ground on Elaida every stride bringing the gap between them down and down. He did not know what was guiding the woman, but she moved with unerring swiftness and determination. She was not moving by chance she knew where she was going.

They were crossing the open courtyard now and even here Warder fought Warder and Aes Sedai, fought Aes Sedai. But Elaida turned neither to the right nor the left. Neither side seemed to want to strike at her as if her stole set her apart and made her untouchable. It could also be that like the hunters they were not sure which side she belonged to, it could have been the power of habit and tradition; it could simply have been that there was no time or energy left to fight anyone who was not directly trying to kill you!

There it stood her mighty palace. It was not finished but already it rivalled any edifice save the Tower itself in size if not beauty. As they approached still running its doors swung open and there stood, Egwene al'Vere and about her stood over a hundred novices and Accepted. Also by her stood the deposed King of Illian Mattin Steapaneos, a sword in his hand and also Silviana Brehon, the Mistress of the Novices and Leane Sharif, a prisoner of late but now walking free. Of Egwene's usual jailers there was no sign.

The novices visibly quailed as Elaida approached at pace. Yet Egwene did not. She was young only having none of the ageless look that usually characterised Aes Sedai. Still she was strong she met Elaida's eyes as the larger woman rushed up to her, Kye on her heels.

"The Black Ajah is revealed and the Tower is at war. Are you satisfied?"

"That the Light is destroying the darkness? Certainly!" replied the girl.

"Fool girl, the Tower has never seen such a dark moment. We are divided and weak thanks to your rebellion and now we are being destroyed from within. We will be easy prey for your rebels, when I am cast aside!"

As she spoke Elaida tore the six-striped stole from around her neck. "Red suites me best I think," she snarled more than said. "Everything that has happened has conspired to defeat me and now those who have won undying fame and power within the Tower will not side with me but have scorned my strength. I feel like a woman awakened from a dream. What I do, I do not do for you but I sacrifice it all for the Light. The Tower must be united!"

Then without warning she gasped and fell back as Kye darted in front of her pressing the knife wide. The man had simply not been there until a moment ago. The knife in his hand seemed to simply have condensed from the air to slash at Elaida's heart. His hands bleeding from pushing the blade wide Kye leapt upon the figure, whom he could barley see even now. As they wrestled on the floor he heard shouting above him. Though he could not make out the words he saw those who had moved to aid him suddenly stop. He heard bits of it the next time. A woman wearing a shawl, fringed in Grey was running towards them. "He is Black, as is Kea, you have all been deceived. Elaida, this is Egwene's plot to undermine and overthrow the Tower, be not deceived, Strike her now before the Shadowspawn can channel enough to strike you down!"

"What are you saying Evanellein!" cried Silvianna. "Egwene has made no such plans."

"Why do prisoners walk free then backed by you and your Novices?" crowed Evanellin, the Sitter for the Grey had abandoned her usual back seat approach. Her voice dripped sarcasm and scorn, but changed immediately to respect and urgency as she addressed Elaida who was still bleeding.

"Step aside Mother, this child, this traitor is too dangerous to be let loose. She is like Suian. Do you remember the night we arrested her. Do you remember what you said? It is the same with this girl, it is the same!"

Kye still struggled with the strongly lithe and incredibly strong man rolled on the floor with him wishing and willing that someone would channel and kill him. He could not even draw his sword again much less use it in these close quarters and the man still held his knife that had already tasted Kye's blood.

"Damn it, I didn't come through all this to die rolling in the dust. If I do be going to die scum it will be at Kea's feet and that you'd best believe!" He slammed his elbow into the assassin's face and holding hard to both his arms, one at the wrist and the other at the elbow, he flipped the man into a sideways roll. Attempting to leaver himself into a dominant position. But no sooner did he get on top where he could use gravity to assist him than his opponent rolled him back onto his back.

Kea burst from the Tower still running, though now short of breath. She saw Kye struggling on the floor and bleeding and a Grey Sister standing before Egwene and Elaida. She did not understand what was going on but knew that Kye was in trouble and that the Grey sister was embracing Saidar in torrents. She knew those weaves.

Stopping so that she had enough breath she shouted. "She is going to kill save Egwene!"

"You cannot hold that much" Elaida was saying shocked, "that is more than the Nynaeve al'Mera girl."

"Fool!" shouted the Grey, "Move aside!" so saying she unleashed a torrent of light and energy. Elaida in madness or heroism screamed her own defiance and leapt at the woman. Part of the blast hit the flying woman, part of it killed an on looking Novice and part exploded into the sky.

Kea could see Egwene trying to channel but still only managing a trickle. A novice beside her however was like a bonfire. Kea knew her, it was the only Novice who had been stronger in the One Power than her. Suddenly all the novices unrestricted by the Oath Rod began to channel. The single Sister was driven back and in the struggle something faded from around her. She suddenly appeared changed and that unnerved Kea. She had never seen one face emerge suddenly as if from behind a perfect mask. Now she appeared younger, slightly short of middle years and without the ageless quality. She had large almost liquid blue eyes, which seemed to melt and then spark in turn. She was alight with the Power, more of it than Kea had ever seen one person hold and she seemed intent on killing Egwene.

She began to lash out with the Power and felt the restraint of the Oaths. She was not in personal danger and she wasn't sure the woman was Shadowspawn. "Kye get in danger!" she shouted and then remembered he was and focusing her mind used a sliver of earth and fire and dexterously slit the throat of his assailant. Then she willed him to save Egwene.

He felt the fight go out of the man and he rolled away from him and came to a crouch. He could feel his Aes Sedai's urgency. He had to stop this woman. He launched himself at her, knowing he could not stop her but hoping to at least distract her. He seemed to be doing this a lot in recent memory throwing himself into hopeless confrontations. Luckily for him the united strength of about fifty novices was levelled at the woman the same time he jumped. Instead of being blown apart, he hit into her knocking her sideways. She recovered quickly though he could not see what she was doing with her Power. Suddenly lines appeared out of thin air, spinning as they seemed to open and close. They opened into roughly rectangular shapes and as they did so spinning and gyrating anything they touched was sliced through.

Parts of novices were flying everywhere. Kea and Egwene were both shouting for circles to be formed. Silviana was trying to herd the novices away from this clearly evil Aes Sedai.

"I will be Nae'Blis!" she shouted suddenly. "Call yourselves Aes Sedai! You know nothing! You are children compared to us! You may have escaped Aran'Gar Egwene the faithless but you will not escape Mesanna!"

Kea tried to throw a block, but without a circle she might as well have tried picking up the Tower with a weave of Air. The woman was channelling in torrents, not threads! Elaida was trying to cover Egwene with her body but she would surely die and make little difference. They were all going to die before Kea could make a difference. She was simply too weak and too far away. She needed an extension of her body. She had started this, she wanted to give her life for this, not watch someone else die pointlessly.

Unnoticed Kye had got himself towards this woman's, this Mesanna's feet. Dirk would not have known, but Kye knew that name. "Die Forsaken!" he screamed as he slammed his dirk into her thigh. He was bringing up his sword to stab her through the chest but despite her surprise she redirected her forces at him. He was hurled from her like a rag doll.

Kye landed unnoticed by any but Kea, for all attention was not focused on Egwene with the frail shield of the bloody and battered Elaida in front of her. One by one they made the circle. It had been spontaneous almost unconscious but Kea, Nicole, Silvianna and Elaida had joined themselves to Egwene. The forkroot had run its course and she was channelling her own formidable might. The Ajah of the Light had also stepped out from the White Tower. Watching the flows they united themselves to the circle as well. When Messana looked up from hurling Kye down she saw a strength of which she had not ought but dreams. This was a strength that could only be formed by unity and trust, a strength for which she had not been prepared. This time the block worked and the torrents of light that had made Messana glow like a beacon were snuffed out like a candle.

"Hold her!" Egwene commanded and the much older more experienced Aes Sedai did as they were bidden. Kea rushed to the scene, and was distracted from both Mesanna and Kye by Elaida's collapse.

"Listen to me you awful, troublesome girl, listen!" snapped Elaida her Murandian accent winning through as she began to gasp for air. "I always thought just plain red was more my colour," she managed to splutter. She was sweating now and bringing up blood.

"I'm no good at healing, get a healer!" snapped Egwene.

"Healing won't help now Ch… Egwene," replied Silvianna. "It would only kill her in a different way. She has no strength left."

"Listen girl and stop for a moment trying to ruin my life! Someone must know. I have the Foretelling though it is more curse than blessing it would seem. Someone must know and you are to be the one. Rand al'Thor will know the wrath of the Amyrlin Seat. The future and victory at Tar'mon Gai'don is inextricably linked with the fate of the Royal house of Andor. The Black Tower will be left in flames and Sisters will walk its grounds. Link the White Tower to Andor Child, you must wear the stole. Use our plan make the Asha'man Warders to the Red Ajah. We were all deceived, the Tower MUST stand united…" she gasped and it appeared to Kea as though she had died. Her body went rigid and her eyes stared fixedly upwards.

"The Amyrlin Seat will wed the boar and her coming charge will strike fear into the heart of the fearless. Only one can stay her hand, only one can slay her for he it is who rides at her right hand, her greatest strength and her doom. Beware the Youngling." For a moment it seemed she was herself. "The Tower must be u…" then Elaida a'Roihan Amyrlin Seat, The Flame of Tar Valon, went out.


	26. Chp 26: Names

Note: The character Dirk's real name is Kye. So either appellation refers to him.

I apologise for the amount of K names in this chapter.

Kea: - Damane turned Accepted, wanting to be Aes Sedai.

Kye: - Ex-Warder now a Warder again to Kea. Also known as Dirk.

Kera: - Aes Sedai of the Green Ajah also appears in Chapters 10-12.

Disclaimer: All profits to RJ, the man, the Legend.

**Chapter 26: Names**

"There are Shadowspawn in the Tower!" announced Yukiri. Pevera,Saerin, Seaine and Doesine have all got a complete circle with them and are scouring the Tower as we speak; but with so many Black Ajah, and now their dark allies, coming out of the wood work…" she let her voice trail off.

Egwene had taken control of the Novices and the local area around the now subdued battle scene. Elaida's body was still there lifeless, her head covered by a six striped stole. Messana was also there she was on her knees a block held on her by a complete circle of Aes Sedai that had arrived with Yukiri.

The arrival of a Sitter had looked like it might have shaken Egwene but without Elaida and with the Tower in disarray and ruin lurking everywhere Yukiri had not even tried to call Egwene down or reign her in. The fact was Egwene clearly had the support of a great number of channelling women and had an imprisoned Forsaken. But what truly counted was Kea stood at her shoulder, right now Kea was _the_ pivotal figure in the Tower. Not only that, but Egwene and Nicola were the two most powerful in _saidar_. It was just an inbuilt reflex in Aes Sedai to defer to strength in the Power.

"Let our Sisters in," commanded Egwene. The Grey looked at her askance. Well she might they were at war and only yesterday they had been dealing with these same 'sisters' as captors and captives.

"I am no girl Sitter, I am Egwene al'Vere and I am the Amyrlin Seat I have been for over a year. I told you that when I was captured so it should be no surprise. Now go let in the other sisters so that we can tear these Light-forsaken Shadowspawn from the Tower and hurl them back into the Pit of Doom!"

The two rivers girl had begun her little speech is a quiet but firm and commanding voice. She ended it in a shout and Yukiri had to hold herself so that she did not flinch. Egwene was very powerful and if she unleashed her anger using _saidar_… well none of those present wished to see that.

"Excuse me Amyrlin," broke in Kye, Kea's Warder, "That will be difficult." She directed her attention to him her gaze forbidding but the man was not quelled. "They know allies lie in that direction and have moved to bar the gates. Trollocs, Black Ajah, even the Sightless."

"And we have to hold the block on Messana and prevent any rescue attempt," added Yukiri.

Egwene turned slowly and let her gaze linger on the Grey sitter. She did not say she thought her a bit of a coward, but her gaze could not but imply disappointment. "Still it must be done," she stated simply.

"We will do it," announced Kea. "We are ready to serve and with just my Warder I will pass unseen more easily than an entire Circle. Egwene paused looking hard at Kea, probably noticing the lack of agelessness and of shawl.

"I am not Aes Sedai yet but it was I, with the help of my Warder who exposed your enemies. It was I who dragged the Black Ajah out of the Shadows and helped the Ajah of the Light to rally the Sisters to the real war. Do not think me weak, I can do this! I am no ones slave, not anymore, but I will serve you Amyrlin so long as you serve the Light."

Egwene gave a little start, "You were damane?" she stuttered, for the first time sounding discomforted. "I was Dirk rescued me," she motioned to her Warder.

"I thought…" began Egwene but at that point the distant sounds of fighting dramatically increased as the door to the large hallway broke in pieces and tower guard backed into the room still fighting.

"Go then!" Egwene commanded instantly. "Yukiri maintain the block, do not get distracted. "Novices, slaughter the spawn of the Nameless One!"

Kea did not pause to see the devastation wrought on the invaders. Still she saw Nicola weaving the same spinning rectangles of light that Messana had used to decimate the Novices. Out the rear door she ran and then followed the corridor left knowing that the stairwell was not far away. At first her Warder was on her heels but soon enough he drew level and seconds later pulled ahead. He arrived at the stairway first and cleared it. Seconds later, when she arrived, the doorway was open and the guard dead. They descended the spiral stairs two or three steps at a time. She heard guttural growls as they neared the bottom, but Kye simply called for her to hurry. She did so turning the corners soon enough to see him leap into the air and land with both his feet planted firmly in the chest of a Trolloc. The beast its snapping canine jaws unable to purchase on its assailant toppled backwards into its fellows. Balancing as if on an acrobats rope Kye allowed momentum and gravity to do the rest. The whole horde of enemies tumbled backwards down the stairs with him atop the bunch. Once they hit the bottom he killed them with economical strikes as the huge creatures attempted to extricate themselves one from another.

They were in the ground floor corridor rushing along now at an ever increas9ing pace. Here and there small pockets of Power induced battles raged. Kea could sense huge amounts of Saidar being directed, woven and flung in all directions. She could not concentrate on it though, she could barely think so tired was she. Her body unused to the strain of sprinting was beginning to demand rest and air. A demand she refused it, pushing herself beyond her limits. She found herself suddenly drawing strength somehow and felt herself gain an inexplicable second wind. As her mind cleared able to think of something other than its increasing need for air and rest she was able to reason that she must be pulling it from Saidar or else directly though the bond from Kye. The Warder showed no fatigue but she could feel that it was from him she was taking this strength. She did not know how she was doing this or how to stop it had she wanted to.

The door to the outside was in sight but a melee raged right before it. Trollocs led by two Myrddraal covered the exit. They were fighting with three Warders and some Tower Guard. At first Kea thought she was mistaken but as they got close enough she saw that some of the Warders and indeed two of the Guardsmen were fighting alongside the shadowspawn.

"Kill them!" she commanded. Her Warder leapt to obey. In a way that made her sad, in the past Dirk would not have been ready to kill so easily. In the past he would have tried to get her to concentrate on the Trollocs and the Fade. He would have wanted to wound, capture and reason, not so now. Kye leapt into the battle before they were aware of him and wreaked a whirlwind of death. A Warder went down skewered from behind so the point of Kye's sword emerged from his chest. Next the Warder kuilled a Trolloc and then went straight for the nearest Myrddraal. The Fade was ready for him and a duel commenced rather than a slaughter. Kye moved like the wind itself. His cloak made him seem to flicker in and out of existence. The Fade too, seemed almost a shadow more than a real thing. She unleashed fire into the ranks of Shadowspawn. She didn't waste must time weaving. Simple fire pulled directly from _Saidar_ and left to explode amongst their ranks. She flinched however as she saw a trolloc explode and than brave man fighting him recoil grasping a burnt and melting face. After that she was more careful aiming her weaves and taking care what she used and when. She managed to get to the man she had accidentally burned using flows of Air to cut the throats of the trollocs over him. Knealing by his side she could not help herself, she wept.

"I am so sorry," she cried. "I was just trying to kill the trolloc!" The man could not speak either from pain or because his face was too damaged to function. She tried to heal him that was what Dirk thought the Power was better used for. Unfortunately she was woefully ignorant of healing. She had not heard of it prior to meeting Dirk and even since3 coming here had made no effort to really learn. Her pitiful skills were no match for the power of this dark wound she had inflicted.

So distraught was she the attacker who approached her utterly avoided her notice. She had not avoided his. As the only one wielding the Power she had positively trumpeted her presence. Hands suddenly closed on her with vice like strength. She felt herself wrenched backwards and realised it was a man not a trolloc or a fade. She could feel cold metal at her throat and the man was hissing to her to hold still or die. Her body was limp but her mind was racing. She could not understand how this had happened. Where was her Warder? He must feel her distress through the bond… where was he! She opened her mouth to call out and felt two gloved-fingers inside it wrenching her jaws apart. Then to her horror some cold tea was forced down her throat. The glove once again covered her mouth and this time a finger and thumb covered her nose also. Spluttering and choking she swallowed and spat that concoction at the same time. Some went down her nose some seeped out through the gloved hand that gagged her mouth, but most slid down her throat. She felt weak and bewildered for a moment. The knife eased its pressure and she tried to channel, but she couldn't, she felt sluggish and sleepy. The man handled her now as a toy, he obviously was confident in whatever this vile tea was. Her mind was too slow now to recognise what must have happened to her. She was barely aware of being lifted and taken by the man.

----

He felt her suddenly panic. He tried to turn but just then the Fade pressed the attack as if he was working in conjunction with the assault on his Aes Sedai. Well he knew a few manoeuvres for fighting Fades. Nevir had hated the Shadow and so had her disciple. They had prepared and then killed many of them. Realising that to be of any use to Kea he had to kill the Myrddraal he gave it his undivided attention. His urgency however belied his indifference. It was impossible to truly forget the woman to whom you were bonded. That was why he had allowed Revoir to use the Circlet on him. The pain had been too much, the link too acute too unforgettable to be forgotten.

The Sightless had not been prepared for this whirlwind. The Warder unleashed a torrent of blows powered by his fear and anger. He drove the halfman back but could not land a telling blow. His blade landed side on only to deflect from the scale like black armour covering the halfman's thigh. The eyeless, deathly white face simply gazed back at his own gaze of fury and the duel continued. Then suddenly Kea dimmed. That was the only word he could think of for it. Her presence in his mind was suddenly less and he felt his soul scream. Not again, never again! He would rather die! That was when he realised the only way to end the battle quickly it was a tactic he had used before. However it was one never to be used on Fades and with good reason. But as he felt Kea being moved taken from him, just like Nevir had been, he threw away all his restraints, all his regrets and everything he knew or thought he knew and acted. He dived recklessly forward and swung his sword in both his hands. The halfman saw his opening a struck, the black Thakan'dar made steel, quenched in a human soul ripped through the charging Warder's side. He could not resist the urge to scream but managed to turn it into a scream of rage and victory. As the Myrdraal blade tore his side he decapitated it in one fell stroke. Quickly he raised his leg and side kicked the fade launching the evil creature onto its back. He knew it would not die fast enough, but die it would. Even halfmen didn't come back from decapitation.

He turned and began to run, blood oozed out of the tainted wound in his side and he pressed on trying not to think about it. Wounds from those blades did not heal at least they could not be healed without the use of the Power. He was as good as dead but he just allowed that to take away his fear. He used it as an excuse to push his body all the harder. He had to make his death mean something.

She was faint but he could still sense her and so he ran, he against whatever, whomever had his Aes Sedai. Whomever that was be it the Dark One himself, Kye was going to kill him, even if it was the last thing he did in this life.

He burst from the doors in time to see the man drag his Aes Sedai towards the side gate that led from the White Tower compound. Pulling and carrying Kea had slowed the man considerably and Kye new he could catch him in time. Now he was in sight of his quarry his pace increased. At the gate a woman came forward to meet the man. Seeing Kye's rapid approach she called out to the man who upped his pace. It would not be enough and Kye could not help himself as he smiled at the thoughts of what he would do to this man. What he had wanted to do to those who had cost him Nevir.

But then the man turned and he saw Kea's eyes were open, dull and misty but open. She was awake. He pressed a wicked looking knife between her exposed breasts and demanded he stop. Slamming a foot into the ground he skidded to a halt, no more than five paces from his enemy.

"I saw you in there and I know you could kill me but if you've tracked me out her you are hers, right?"

He did not respond but it appeared that was not necessary. The woman had now joined her partner and taken a position a step behind him to his left. She looked different. Now she was in the light of day he realised she was Seanchan. Though she did not wear the lightning bolts right now he knew that stance, that look of horror and pity that crossed her face when she glanced at Kea. She was sul'dam.

The man continued, "The Seanchan, don't care about the fight in there. They certainly don't care about you but this one they want. You can live through this if you just back away." 

"If you do know she is mine then you must be knowing you will not leave here alive with her. Trust me all that is allowing you to breathe and your heart to beat is the fact that she breaths and her heart beats. You are out of the Creator's hands and now you do be in mine. You leave her here and run for your life, then spend the rest of your days praying I never see you again."

The man was visibly shaken but the woman laughed. "You challenge us now and we will wreck the whole Tower with lightning and fire. You are in chaos, your masters confused and at each other's throats. This is what you get allowing marathe-damane to remain uncollored. We will correct that. You will not put one damane above your whole way of life, know you no duty?"

"My master is in your hands and my blade is bared. I am no sword master, nor as I Aes Sedai, but your man can tell you that if I strike, you and he are dead. Give her back to me or else."

"I am not accustomed to being threatened," began the sul'dam.

"That is because normally you carry a very powerful weapon. But today you are unarmed sul'dam filth. I killed Kea's last sul'dam and if you try to collar her I will kill you."

"Kye leave this," finally Kea spoke. "It's like we always knew it would be, for the good of the Tower. Go Kye! You know how to obey me, go!"

He paused, thousands of thoughts raged through his head but over them all ruled his feelings. "No" he replied with finality. "I will not leave!"

"You will die! I saw it in my test to be Accepted, please, please leave now!" pleaded Kea.

"Too late," crowed the woman. From the gate were emerging a small line of Seanchan warriors and a woman in lightning panelled skirts who held a collar. Behind him he saw two more warriors approaching. He was losing blood, he had to act soon, but fear for Kea kept him rooted.

"Surrender please!" she suddenly begged. She remembered the test. If he surrendered he would live. He would feel betrayed but he would live that was better than nothing. She remembered shouting for him to free her and then the feeling of him dying, she would not be able to bear that she could not.

"I do warn you" he said speaking to the woman who was now openly sneering. "If you try to collar her you will not leave here alive." She only laughed in response.

"Kye stop, surrender to them, swear the oath, live. Kye, obey me!"

He remained standing still but he slowly moved his gaze to lock it onto her eyes. "Kye would," he said slowly nodding. Then without warning his arm snapped up and the sneering sul'dam who had just taken the a'dam into her hands fell his dirk lodged in her neck. Spinning his sword flew out and struck down first one and then the other soldier that had approached him from behind.

"I ado be already dead," he announced. "Who would like to join me?" Even as he asked he was running. The man who held the helpless Kea knew death when he saw it and saved his own life by dropping her and fleeing. The sul'dam in her red and blue panelled skirts was on the floor retrieving the a'dam. The other soldiers moved in-between the charging warrior and his Aes Sedai. "Ye do be making a mistake" he promised. And the battle was joined.

His blade moved like it never had before. It was sublime each blow seemed to be ideally placed and his feet leaden with his loss of blood seemed suddenly light and nimble. He realised that it was coming through the bond. Everything she had was coming to him.

Whirling around he knocked a blade into another then continuing his spin he engaged a third man who had believed him occupied and had reckless lunged at his back. Dirk opened his arm allowing the sword to slide between his side and arm and then pulled his arm fast to his side trapping the weapon. Twisting he forced the Seanchan fighter to let go of his sword or be pulled off balance. The figter released his weapon and tried to leap back and escape. Forwards was where Dirk wanted to go. He lunged right after him all but ignoring the swiping blades that cut through the air he had just vacated. The weapon less man had no chance he brought his hands flailing round to protect his face and Dirk just stabbed him in the chest. He fell dead and Dirk cut another swathe around him using the sword form Swallow over the Lake. He followed this with an innovative River undercuts the Bank and separated one of the warrior's from his torso. This was almost his undoing as his sword stuck the dead man's guts and bones. The other warrior returning from avoiding the first form slashed downwards for the kill. Dirk rolled in retreat. His hand suddenly found the sword of the first man he had disarmed and grasping it like the life line it was rose himself onto one knee and holding the hilt in both hands blocked the renewed assault of the Seanchan warrior.

"Stop!" it was a woman's voice. Both of the men sweating from their exertions and Dirk from his wounds came to their feet and backed away warily. The sul'dam stood commanding and triumphant. A collar attached seamlessly to a silver lead was around Kea's neck.

"Any further resistance is useless warrior," she explained. "Drop your weapon and surrender." When Dirk hesitated to obey her face grew less anxious and more cross as if she were a teacher with a disobedient child in her class. "I am complete, now drop your sword!"

"Kye…"

"Please," he cut off Kea's plea. "Call me Dirk, I think I do prefer Dirk."

She smiled, even in that hateful solar she smiled. "Dirk I… I can't let them kill you, I just can't."

"Well I won't let them then," he reassured her with a grin. She was doing to speak again but he cut her off.

"I do love you Kea Sedai. I will not watch such as these take you. Not until at least four more Myrddraal have a stab at me at least! So saying he held back his cloak allowing her to see the wound. She had studied Shadowspawn in the Tower; she knew what that kind of wound meant. She knew he was a dead man walking.

She smiled oddly. It was as if she was reliving an old and distant memory. She nodded as if to herself and then she pulled herself to a kneeling position though hardly impressive it allowed her to look at him head on. Then with an almost theatrical heir she shouted "Dirk, Save me!"

Just as she had seen before he leapt and killed. The warriors were utterly shocked having believed their work done. The sul'dam directed flows of _saidar_ through Kea but the forkroot was still in effect and Kea did not even have to resist her. No flows materialised and the two warriors fell dead. The sul'dam now was thinking of her own life and twisted the cord of the a'dam around Kea's neck.

Dirk laughed carefree and laugh pitched. That was what that scum-like villain who started all this did. He do be the only one who has been wise enough to run away. Look at your friends? Today I do be death, now let her go because if you kill her, you do be killing me. Now I am looking to let you live, but I promise Kye will not be thinking the same thing."

All the time he walked slowly and deliberately forwards. The sul'dam was not used to fighting with her hands or threatening the life of a damane who was linked with her. She continued to hesitate until he reached her and laid his sword on her throat. She made her choice then and Kea was released. Kea breathed air one deeply and then turned and clicked the collar around the sul'dam's neck. "I want to try something," she said. "I had a dream once that I could be a sul'dam." She snapped the bracelet around her own wrist. Having been on the other end most of her life she just had a feel for it. She couldn't channel yet but her mind was clearing and her awareness of the Source had returned.

The sul'dam had just begun to speak to scoff at Kea's notion that their roles could be reversed when the pain hit her. Suddenly all of Kea's memories of being taken from her family and living in the kennels came back. She remembered all those times she had not been good or made a mistake. Each resultant beating that had come as a consequence. Her anger rose up inside her and she unleashed a torrent of the different punishments she had been subjected to, by the sul'dam that had trained and broken her.

She felt his revulsion before she felt his hand. "Kea," his voice was achingly soft. "Yes I know Kye."

"No, I do be Dirk, remember. I got given a chance at a second life and I intend to take it. Some memories are better left sealed away. Not forgotten forever maybe, but sealed away so they can do less harm. Forgetting do be as necessary as forgiving." He removed his hand, "You do have a second chance at life too Kea Sedai."

His use of a title she did not truly feel she had earned made her look at him. His touch had already stopped her hurting the poor trapped woman at her feet; for as she had taken power she had stood the forkroot draining from her system.

"New names, new lives," she said more to herself than Dirk. Still he responded as if she had been answering him.

"Exactly"

"Am I in your new life?" she asked a little playfully, almost sure of the answer.

He leant down and taking her in his arms kissed her, thoroughly.


	27. Epilogue

Note: The character Dirk's real name is Kye. So either appellation refers to him.

Disclaimer: All profits to RJ, the man, the Legend.

**Epilogue**

The wind blew over the plains and around the imposing spire of Dragonmount. The wind had always blown over the huge open stretch and for over a thousand years it had swirled around Dragonmount and the White Tower. The wind didn't change it was constant but in a way it was always changing. Seemingly only he who continues to change can truly be constant.

The White Tower still stood battered from the wars that had raged within and around it but now despite hundreds of deaths it stood whole and filled. Its Amyrlin Seat, Egwene al'Vere, stood at the helm. A new hall had been called from the shattered fragments of the old. From the seven Ajahs had arisen the Ajah of Light. Now united the White Tower allied with the Black. Together under the leadership of the Dragon Reborn they were to travel to Tar'mon Gai'don, the Last Battle to be fought in the north.

All the nations of the land had sent men to this battle the one doom that would determine the fate of all men and women. The Aiel had crossed the Dragonwall, the Sea Folk had come ashore. Age-old hatreds between the Tear and Illian had been laid aside. All were gathered to one purpose. Such an army had never been seen Ogier with huge long handled axes, wolves prowling constantly around the Wolf King with his archer bodyguard. Men with oddly shaped metal tubes called dragons, which shot fire that exploded and hurled death upon all its foes.

In the midst of them all stood two people. No more or less than the thousands of others who had come to fight for the light. Kea Sedai of the Green Ajah, known as the Lady of Lightning, Battle Captain in the Third Wing and her Warder Dirk Steadysteel, veteran of Soremaine, Warder, member of the Illianer Companions, and husband to Kea Sedai. Yet as they listened to Rand al'Thor the Dragon Reborn explaining his plans to them their minds could not but stray. It had been a long road since the day of the purges. Under her shawl Kea wore a small badge of a black heart in-bedded with six daggers. On her forehead rested the Eye of Loyalty and in her hand a small wand of brittle wood, an angreal. Her face now seemed ageless and mysterious; she now was truly Aes Sedai.

He was a little older but his face was not hardened. He stood with the easy grace of a leopard at rest. His hand was laid atop a sword that had seen him through many dark times, Etched into that blade were the names of the battles that had forged him. Soremaine, the Purges, Siege of the Black Tower and others. He had marked a single T on it already for the battle to come. Kea said it was pure arrogance that he was assuming he would live to write the rest. He claimed it was not arrogance but a promise to her. That had been the right thing to say as he had later discovered. Still the sword was not his favourite weapon. His preferred weapon was his small dirk. The knife reminded him of a man named Giro who had once offered him the Gift of Trust and helped him to find a new name and a new life.

Between them they had several titles and accolades. Kea had proved herself a potent healer as well as a killer. A new form of healing discovered by a yellow Sitter called Nynaeve had proved perfect for her. At her husbands insistence she spent as much time healing as she did hurting. For Tar'mon Gai'don she had gone and gotten herself into plenty of credit for the death she intended to wreak this day.

Yes they had changed, become well known and more powerful and respected than they could have imagined. Yet it was not the battle and the honours of the day ahead that held their mind. Instead it was a small twenty-four pound baby only weeks old that was waiting for them at home. The titles that they truly cared for now were those of husband and wife, and more recently father and mother.

Today seemed to be all about death, but as the Dragon spoke it became clear that they weren't fighting to destroy anyone not even the Dark One. They were fighting for life. The future of all life and the memories that were worth keeping.

Thank you for reading my story. I know it was quite long but I hope I managed to keep your interest and provide you with some entertainment.

I love fantasy fiction and writing it, the Wheel of Time is too good a setting not to be used more often. I accept I have several short comings in my writing style and pacing For example the last chapter has been two months in coming.

If any of you have questions, thoughts, requests or reviews feel free to post them here or PM me.

My thanks go to Robert Jordan for creating this wonderful world with its rich history and culture and Viggen, just for being a great friend and help.

Once again thanks for reading.

Mask


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